Is it wrong to secretly hope your partner will change over time?

[HawkPerception]

Yes

No

[WindAtMyBack]

It's not wrong to hope they change. But it is wrong to expect them to. It's wrong to base a relationship on them changing. It's wrong to be in a conditional relationship - one that you accept them only if they change.

You have to ask yourself if you want to be with them as they are right now. If the answer is no, then you should leave them, because you don't truly accept them. If the answer is yes, then your actions need to reflect that. If it's always eating at you in the back of your mind, then you don't really accept them for who they are.

[OlderAndWiser]

Understandable, but a foolish dream.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Finchie40]

Yes it’s wrong , because you can’t change anyone , they can only change themselves if they choose to , if not? You are shit out of luck and wasting your time hoping they will change. Just because you love someone it doesn’t mean you have to be with that someone , especially if they aren’t giving back the same in return , sometimes walking away from that person is the best thing to do when you realize they aren’t going to change. If they truly love you? They will come chasing you back and wanting things to be better between you both , leaving it up to you on whether you want to give them another chance or not , I am currently experiencing this with my wife , that her and I are so back and fourth , she keeps telling me to change and I laugh and say maybe you are the one that needs to change because I am the same guy you first met , so if I don’t fit your preferences, you are best to walk to the other way , shockingly this turns her on when she knows I don’t tolerate her shit. Because the truth is , she is the one that changed , not me , I tell her all the time , what you see is what you get , if you don’t like it , there is the door and don’t let it hit ya in the ass on the way out. My wife is going through menopause and the shit is insane. So anytime she starts shit with me , I give it right back to her and I walk the other way , she will come chasing me back because she is scared to lose me. Never let a girl walk over you my man , this is something I have learned through the years with girls’ Never let her feel like she is dominate over you , unless you are a simp or a cuck , but if you are a masculine guy , always be dominate to her , and pretty much make it clear to her that you will be perfectly fine without her by your side , you do t have to be an asshole to her , just stand your ground. A girl that truly loves you and cares about you will become submissive to you , Most females are naturally submissive and most females’ want a guy she can look up to to feel safe and protected and loved. So if your girl isn’t submissive to you, you are best to let glued go and walk the other way my friend , because if not? She will make your life a living Hell. A submissive girl will bring happiness into your life , not misery , a submissive girl has no problem getting on her knees for you and pleasing you because she feels safe and loved by you. A lot of females’ like to play games and test their men to see if he still loves and values her , so if she is playing those games with you? You are best to do the same to her and make her feel like you are perfectly fine without her by your side , If she loves you , she will come crawling back to you. After you have an argument or fight with her , never let her walk over you

[Paris13]

One can Only Hope and Pray... xxoo

[CassandraSpender]

Wrong, no, wronghesded, yes.

To hope your partner improves as a person is good, however if they are doing something destructive (abusing you, lashing out in anger, manipulating you, etc) it's better to get away because the reality is most people never change as long as their basic needs are met

[HawkPerception]

Well said young padwan

[HawkPerception]

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[SquishyBuns2628]

I'm secretly hoping my boyfriend shaves his hair because he claims the barber is pushing his hairline back and he's obviously balding into the strongest Vegeta widows peak.

I'm secretly hoping my boyfriend would push himself harder for a promotion at work because he'll complain he's struggling and pays a bullshit high ass cable bill for tv I know he doesn't watch.

I secretly hope he isn't paying for his Canadian's friend OF because she's an ex drug attack single mom with an abusive ex!

I secretly hope a lot of things that sometimes make me want to leave him but then I'll be alll alone so I stay, I've been settling for a long time...

[es20490446e]

Totally wrong. It means you are with the wrong partner.

People can make small changes, within a range.

But anything further than that, even if it can be done, takes plenty of time and effort. Years.

Hence you shall accept someone as a partner if in the present they act accordingly.

Otherwise you are putting the other person's interests above yours, and that is the very definition of an unhealthy relationship.

Only date people that vibrate high, and value your well being.

[Zack-Bann]

Everyone does it on some level


And to be fair people do grow and change with time


But it’s also very draining and unsustainable


The ideal would be to have open dialogue and point out the things that bother you


If all else fails end the relationship

[KingslayerC]

It's not ethically wrong. But it's a bit naive. At most a guy can change and that can motivate his girl to change a little bit. But she wouldn't just decide on her own or out of some unspoken obligation.

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

Yes.

You need to communicate this with them and have a discussion about what both of you are willing to do / come to an agreement about.

[blueonblack22]

It’s a “covered contract” if you expect them to change without saying anything. You are portraying your fantasy onto them which will always lead to disappointment.

[msmissydc]

A natrual change as in growing old together. Getting more experienced with life yes.
Not a change as in, I want to change his behaviors or dont like his attidute etc.

[KrakenAttackin]

Yes, I learned the hard way that hope isn't a strategy.

[andreasderjuengere]

Not wrong, but relatively silly.

To ''change'' may require years - if it happens at all.

[Kayleigh2005]

I just heard this

Yes, people change, for the worse

[madgoat]

I suppose it's not wrong. More that you are probably going to be disappointed and it's setting you both up for failure.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Yes, of course, most people hide their true face and reveal it later.

[DrPepper12]

Wrong? No.

Bound to end in tears for both? Absolutely!

[Jupiter1]

“Holding your breath” for something someone doesn’t want to genuinely do for you will just lead to frustrations for you.

[michalpl00]

I heard something recently. People don’t change they will be more careful next time. You give a person 3 changes.

[sage2021]

The only person you can change is yourself!!

[noohair]

The only person you can change is yourself.

[exitseven]

no, but don;t get your hopes up.

[SolitarySolace]

If love were real they wouldn't try to change you.

[dudeinohio]

You should accept them as they are.

[Dongie]

Yes. Wrong-headed anyway.

[Crazzyyworld]

Women r con artist who like con men