I used to be such a people pleaser and never say no but now I’m no longer passive and I stick up for myself and people now call me mean but why?

Question

I feel like no matter what you can’t win in life people will always judge different

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because people know you as being nice and giving , but now that you are standing your ground and sticking up for yourself , those people are going to see you as mean , like Oh my God , what’s her problem. She must of rolled off the wrong side of the bed. So yes we live in a very judgmental world and people will always assume shit , before knowing the actual truth. So my advice to you is to Fuck what people think or say about you , You have every right to stand your ground , and to no longer allow people to walk over you , and take advantage of you. I did the same thing as you , I was tired of being taken for granted by people that I thought actually had a good heart , to find out they were PIECES OF SHIT , so I am only nice to people that are nice to me , if someone treats me like shit, I will do the same to them. I still give , from the kindness of my heart, but I will only give for so long , without receiving in return , All I want in return is a Thank you , if saying Thank you is hard for them to say back , then they won’t get shit from me again.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

It's only the people that can't walk on you anymore that's why you've been drinking your milk and you've been growing and you changed and now they can't get what they want or manipulate you to get what they want anymore so of course you're the meanie just smile when they say or yell.. like a five-year-old... I am too and stomp your feet and then put that face on your face you know which one I'm talking about don't worry about it be happy you take care of you they'll still come back around because they'll see the strength that you carry now and you're happy

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

you should learn to not give a f about what they think about you, they are always gonna criticize you anyway. I'm either people pleaser or mean, I know I should find a balance but it is what it is and it is who I am. I started to not give a shit about their opinion and I don't feel pressured by anyone anymore, they learned their criticism doesn't affect me anymore and they gave up, It's fun because when I stick to myself they say I'm being cold and mean then they just go like "she's being honest with herself" and when I decide to open up and they still see me as a kind and nice person. They learned to accept me, and that's a way better that trying to be someone you're not. Just to say, they are always gonna judge you when you react to their judgement, just let them be and think whatever they want and stay yourself. Set boundaries and don't give a fuck about them.

Jazquee · Accepted Answer

Because most people like the easy going "yes men" when someone has a back bone, they become a "dick" or a "bitch"
Always stand up for self and what you believe in. The people that call you down are not people you need around.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

You're absolutely right that people can be judgmental! Life's like a play, where sometimes others imagine they’re critics with magnifying glasses. 😄 Moving from being a people pleaser to asserting yourself is a powerful journey. Some might initially label you as "mean" because they’re not used to your newfound boundaries. It's like feeding them spicy food when they’ve only ever tasted mild. Keep doing you, love! If you're not being true to yourself, you're living in someone else's story. 💪✨

MrOracle · Answer

You went from one extreme to the opposite. But happiness is rarely found in the extremes - it's almost always found in the middle ground, which is why it's so important to learn balance.

Being a people pleaser is fine IF you are around people who appreciate what you do and respect you, and it's dangerous to be that way if you aren't around people who appreciate and respect you.

It's easier to just flip to the opposite side, but your results still won't be good. Finding middle ground is more work, but the results are much better.

michalpl00 · Answer

I feel like you must be nice and treat people with respect, but if you don’t get it back, then you cannot keep on giving. They are only taking them. Yes you are people pleaser. Listen to your own needs, but you also at the same time to think about when to make a compromises for the people you care about. If you’re being brutally honest, then yeah you might come across as mean. There’s a difference between knowing your own worth and just straight up being selfish and an asshole. You need to find a balance.

BadApple69 · Answer

Let them judge. And let’s get one thing straight… the only person on this planet you need to please is yourself.
Now it’s ok to please others IF that’s what you want to do. Being nice is rewarding but do it because you want to not because you feel you have to.

Unit1 · Answer

I used to be such a people pleaser and never say no but now I’m no longer passive and I stick up for myself and people now call me mean but why?

Ugh. Yeah. People suck. No wonder its hard to have friends.

Might as well dye my hair pink and wear cat ears if I was born in a female body. Or be dressed from head to toe like a satanist. These suckers be hating either way.

Staximus · Answer

The had never been a fair place. You have to stand up for yourself and make sure you're treated right, or people will walk all over you and take advantage of you. You have to put up a wall against people's bullshit. What other people want is not your problem.

Still-alive · Answer

Learn to accept that you can’t make everyone happy and you’re likely to sometimes make people not like you. Its life. If you know you were being truthful and acted authentically then thats all that matter. Who cares what others think especially if they don’t even know you well.

so proceed as you are. Welcome to your new era of being someone with a back bone.

Garud · Answer

Not being a people pleaser means that you should not care if people call you mean or not, because you are ready to walk your own path and many things will follow you, just enjoy your life with new fun adventures

Nikki1989 · Answer

A sudden shift in behavior can be jarring for people who are used to your previous passive demeanor. Some people feel threatened by confidence, especially if you are female.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

Maybe you over-corrected, and went too far in the opposite direction.

You need to find a happy middle. Be mean enough that people won't take advantage of you, but nice enough that you're not lashing out at people who did nothing wrong

WowGIrl4ever · Answer

You lack (social graces). You need to find a middle between voicing your opinion and still being likeable to people

ProbablyClueless · Answer

They're calling you mean because they want shit from you and feel entitled to have it, but you aren't giving into their demands.

CuriousMoonFox · Answer

Did people criticize you for being a people pleaser?

kaucky1 · Answer

They use date rape or morph into me or say they me as a spirit or beat on🫧✨💢💫lies stink or end up being crapped out

Anonymous · Answer

I enjoy being me. It’s been a fun experience learning this person. I like the mean me because I get things done!

Aurav22 · Answer

Congratulations you're on right path

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Because you aren’t a kiss ass

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

Why do u care and u answered your own question

I used to be such a people pleaser and never say no but now I’m no longer passive and I stick up for myself and people now call me mean but why?

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