Is it ok for a man to propose with the same ring his ex girlfriend declined or would you be upset too?

[ChicanaChick]

My friend has been with her boyfriend for 2 years and they've been engaged for 4 months. She recently discovered that he didn't really buy it. It was the same ring he proposed to his ex girlfriend way back in 2019, whom declined him twice. Needless to say she's very upset. For someone that doesn't care about expensive things and isn't much into jewelry, it hurt her and feels he didn't put effort into it.

Background to the story: The guy at the time was in a relationship for nearly 7 years with the ex girlfriend. She left him because she got tired of the relationship, tired of waiting. Then he proposed weeks later but she declined it. He proposed again several months later and she said no again, told him to never contact her ever again. She didn't love him anymore.

Girls, would you be upset if you got proposed with the same ring his ex girlfriend declined him? Or is that ok?

[Summeroflove]

Sorry I have to disagree with a lot of people here it’s not bad at all, although I will say communication is key in any relationship. I think some people aren’t compatible and things need to be talked about before it gets to the point of engagement. I think if there is major differences it’s better that it’s found out about now rather then being miserable and stuck later.

If he lied to her about where he got the ring then this is wrong, lying about things is a major red flag in somebody. There isn’t a reason to lie about something like this just be upfront and honest so that’s part of the problem.

I will say people who base relationships off of material things when a man (or a woman) sees this they need to RUN because they dodged a major bullet if they do. That is someone who isn’t able to build a genuine connection with another human being. That’s someone whose bad choices in life have broken their brains to where they cannot think like a normal person anymore. There is titles like narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, among some others. But stay far from these people.

People who get mad at me know who they are. Save your energy you’re not changing my mind

[Finchie40]

I don’t blame her , that’s clearly disrespectful and a kick to the ass by receiving a ring that actually was meant for another girl. It just goes to show he didn’t put much thought into it and seems desperate to get married to a girl. So she is best to avoid that ring at all costs if that’s how he looks at her , like she is just some option that he doesn’t have to put much effort into. He is clearly just thinking of himself and not thinking about her whatsoever. If she was wise she would end that relationship with him as soon as possible He could have sold that ring and taken the money to get her a new one. But since he didn’t , that’s a red flag that she shouldn’t overlook

[ChicanaChick]

yeah it's the sentiment that comes within the ring that hurt her. She would've been ok with any cheaper ring he buys for her or even a heirloom, any ring except a ring meant bought for an ex girlfriend. They've discussed it and he's going to sell it and get her a new one.

[Finchie40]

Wow , she is giving him another chance? She is digging her own grave with that one , sorry to say , considering she is just a second thought , his ex was his priority considering he went out of his way to get her a ring and tried proposing to her twice , but since that failed , he is now going to try and give that ring to his new girlfriend like it’s no big deal? And now that she is upset about it he is just going to appease her and buy her another ring? I hate to sound negative but I have witnessed and experienced relationships like this to the point your friend is best to walk away and realize she deserves better than that shit

[Screenwriter]

Boy, this is one slow, lazy guy.

His offering the same engagement ring he offered another woman is inexcusable! Unless it was an heirloom that a mother or grandmother or some relative had in the past, there's no excuse.

Something's off about this guy, and I'd recommend to your girlfriend that she might want to get out of this relationship while she can. Oh, and tell this idiot precisely WHY. He didn't buy a ring for your girlfriend, he wanted to offer her something secondhand. RECENTLY secondhand.

I don't know the details of their relationship, but this ring thing is a giant red flag in my opinion.

[ChicanaChick]

They've discussed about it. He's going to sell it and buy her a ring new.

[Anonymous]

Depends. The ring might have cost a significant amount and he wouldn't get the money back if he sold it. Also if the ex didn't wear it then it's OK.

My husband proposed to me with the ring he offered an ex, she didn't wear it and insisted on pucking hers out.

[ChicanaChick]

Though my friend really doesn't mind if he gets her a cheaper ring after he sells it. She never really asked for much and any ring is ok by her as long as it's a gift for her, as long as it was meant for her.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love and its twists! My aim here is to bring a playful and insightful perspective to tricky situations like this. Reviving a ring from the past can feel like a ghostly presence in the present relationship. While some might view it as resourceful, others might see it as a lack of fresh intent and effort. Your friend's feelings are understandable. It's not just about the bling; it's about what it symbolizes – a unique commitment just for her. Love is all about creating new memories, right? 💍 Would you dare to call this a red flag or just a dent in the game of love?

[AviatorTom]

Why is she upset? They are getting married. If it was his mother's ring that the ex turned down, and now he's giving it to her, would she be upset?

Stop being so closed minded and think about the positive things in life.

[ChicanaChick]

Yes that would've been different because she actually appreciates heirlooms. If he couldn't buy her a ring for her (any, even a cheap one.. she doesn't care about prices) then she would've accepted a family ring. She's just hurt about the fact about it being a ring he bought and meant to give it to his ex girlfriend.

[OlderAndWiser]

As you said, " her man understood her and said he'll sell that one and get her a new ring." So is there a problem here?

[ChicanaChick]

I think she got lucky he was very understanding of her feelings about it. Personally I would accept any ring because it's already harder finding marriage-minded men present-day.

[OlderAndWiser]

Obviously, he realized that he had been horribly insensitive.

[Bethany22]

He wants to marry her! She should jump at whatever chance she can get!

[ChicanaChick]

Yeah considering that fewer men want marriage by now, that's better than nothing. Though, her man understood her and said he'll sell that one and get her a new ring.

[Danny_dan92]

I’ll say this.




If say hypothetically speaking both girls had the same taste? Then sure.




Otherwise if the ex preferred say a round shaped diamond and the other prefers a square shape diamond, then obviously I would sell the old ring and use the credit to buy the ring the girl I’m now seeing likes/prefers.




Bottom line, (to the guys) this is why it’s important to know your girl, what she likes and wants. Don’t be that guy that gets her a ring that isn’t the style she likes

[Inafishbowl99]

Seriously i would be so insulted by this insensitive man , what the heck made him think this was acceptable?

Maybe this is why the original girl dropped him. Maybe this ring has many similar stories to it. I mean come on this man has no love or respect for this woman. Tell her to tell him to go and find some other finger. Cheap skate that he is , to think he was probably trying o save his pennies.

[ChicanaChick]

He understood her though and will sell the old ring and get her a new one. The other woman dumped him because he was stalling and things weren't moving forward. He took too long to propose and by the time he did, she didn't want to marry him anymore.

[HighValue]

His main mistake was wanting to get married in the first place. If anything, the woman should be proposing to the man and instead of a ring, offer a prenuptial agreement.

He should get her a candy ring instead.

I do think reusing the other ring is a bad choice though. There shouldn't be anything like that which is a reminder of the ex either. And no contact with any ex for both people in a relationship.

[ChicanaChick]

She would be fine with a candy ring too. She has no ring preference (never had) but the only thing that hurt her is that ring wasn't originally meant for her. She would've been fine with any cheap ring or even a heirloom but not a ring he bought for a past ex girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

You've got to remember the guy's situation, too. A $10,000 or $20,000 ring is not easy for a lot of guys, and if he gets rejected, trying to return it or sell it is even harder. He's likely to lose a lot of money in the process, if he can sell it at all. It was something he carefully chose the first time, so the ring itself is still just as good, so it shouldn't matter to the second girl. His best bet is to not let her know, but if she does find out, be understanding of what he's had to go through.

[ChicanaChick]

She likely wasn't going to find out if one of his relatives would've have blurted it out how it was the same ring his ex girlfriend rejected twice during a family reunion. Talk about ruining the moment. Though she's ok with him selling it and giving her a cheaper ring. She never asked for an expensive ring. For her the price doesn't matter. What matter is that it's a gift meant for her.

[Garud]

If I were in that man's place, I would get another ring made and give both to her.
Or I could keep the stone the same but change the design of the ring, then it would be cheaper.
Even after this, if I have to endure drama, then I will understand that the girl is not right

[Loki97]

First and foremost rings are expensive so if he hasn’t had time to recover from the ex financially why would you do that to each other, secondly if it’s a ring passed down in the family then your really coming off as materialistic. But overall women get mad about stuff like that due to superstition usually

[ChicanaChick]

But she never asked for an expensive ring and would actually be happy with even a cheaper one, a candy ring, any ring, as long as it was meant for her. She actually thinks that even a heirloom is better because it comes from the family. Basically she would've accepted any ring (she has no specific preference), any except the ring he bought for his ex girlfriend. She's more into the sentiment that comes with it.

[Loki97]

Well I have a ring for sale, I bought it with the expectation of getting married but changed my mind and saved it to store some wealth. However sounds like the previous girl was low class to not care about her own wedding details like the ring, but that’s just an assumption.

[msc545]

Buying a decent ring to begin with takes a lot of effort in terms of earning the money to buy it - rings are expensive and for most people, money is difficult to earn and save.

Expecting a man to do that twice is totally unreasonable and a good reason to call the whole thing off. Marriage is a bad bet for men in the first place now.

[KrakenAttackin]

Agreed.

[ChicanaChick]

She really doesn't care about a ring's price and would've been happy with a much cheaper one as long as it was meant to be given to her. She would've accepted a heirloom too. Basically she's a simple woman that would've have accepted any ring coming from her man except the ring meant for his ex girlfriend.

[ChicanaChick]

It's actually the sentiment and the fact that it was meant for his ex girlfriend that hurt her and not the price.

[Anonymous]

I'd say it depends on the cost of the ring and what he makes. If it's easy for him to replace the ring that's one thing. That's not every guy. I can tell you that would be a 🚩 for me NOT to marry a woman who had a big problem with it. I mean if she's OK with swapping it out a less costly ring we could do that. Because if she has a problem with the ring the cost shouldn't matter right? It's the fact that it's the same ring.

[ChicanaChick]

She's a simple person that has no specific ring preference and would be happy with even a cheap one but it hurt her when finding out that ring was bought and meant for his ex girlfriend. She explained how it would've been different if it were a heirloom since that comes from the family but a ring bought for an ex girlfriend is a no-no to her.

[bowenw]

It seems inappropriate for a guy to do that. The only time I think it's acceptable to reuse a ring is when it is one that has been handed down in the family, for example a mother's or grandmother's ring.

[ChicanaChick]

She thinks the same as you just wrote. It would've been great if it was a valuable heirloom. She doesn't like it anymore and requested him to sell the old ring (have nothing that's a reminder of his ex girlfriend) and get her a new ring.

[DreamCrescent]

he should have known. how clueless is he?

curious, how’d she find out about the recycling of her ring?

[ChicanaChick]

@DreamCrescent
She found out because things weren't adding up. She claimed to have never seen him taking his time on any other store, except to help with groceries and clothes, never even asked what type of ring she likes (which her answer would've been ''any, as long as it's for me'') and supposedly ''took his time'' at a jewelry store on Saturday. Then it came out in a conversation at a family reunion. A relative accidentally said something along the lines ''it's a beautiful ring, though isn't it the same one (ex's name) rejected you twice''?

[itsannalee]

I’ll be upset 😬
He should just sell the ring and get a new one, I don’t like used stuff.

[ChicanaChick]

He's going to get her a new ring. My friend doesn't really care about the price of the ring but it's the lack of effort she's upset about it. She initially liked the ring (when she was unaware) but become a bit suspicious and felt something wasn't adding up. He wasn't ever planning to tell her and instead lied about buying it.

[KrakenAttackin]

It's not "used", it's never been worn.

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

Yeaaahhhh... Bad move.

Just cost him a good girl I think.

[ChicanaChick]

He did understood her though and said he'll get her a new ring. My friend loves him but is hurt at the lack of effort. She doesn't want to wear what was meant for his ex girlfriend. She wants to wear a new one.

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

Yeah I think that's totaly reasonable.

We want a girl to be only for us, and judge you on your past.
So only fair you get a fresh ring lol

[KrakenAttackin]

Bruh, seriously?

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

@KrakenAttackin I can't take you seriously... Bruhhhhh... Lol

[KrakenAttackin]

I don't need you to take me seriously. I take you for a woke fool.

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

@KrakenAttackin woke can go fuck itself, as can you 🖕

[DrPepper12]

If she found out he's fucked. There's never any way that she won't view that as being tainted and lesser. If you're going to do that, make sure she doesn't find out!!

[ChicanaChick]

yeah a family relative blew it during a family reunion. That relative (an older woman) recognized the ring and had to say ''Beautiful ring, but isn't it the same one (ex girlfriend's name) rejected twice''?

[rachel776]

haha my one ring is going to get here and stay here 💍

timer set for Christmas and Valentine's Day as a backup ⏰

[exitseven]

I think it is okay but it really is the sort of thing you keep under your hat.

[ChicanaChick]

Yeah it's so unfortunate that a relative during a family reunion gave his secret away. That relative said something along the lines of how the ring it's beautiful but then added ''Say isn't it the same ring, that (his ex girlfriend's name) rejected twice''?

[rosemilk]

that is messed up... i don't think your friend should accept that... it's also bad juju

[RingOfFire]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Men are such dogs. Girls, you have to watch EVERYTHING they do. And I mean EVERYTHING! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

I'll never understand why so many people are so fixated on a round piece of metal that goes on one's finger. Has no practical value whatsoever.

[ChicanaChick]

She's focused on the sentiment that comes along with that ring, how it was bought and meant for his ex girlfriend, not her. She doesn't really care about the price of the ring.

[Staximus]

Maybe the guy can't afford to buy another stupid ring.

[ChicanaChick]

But she doesn't care about an expensive ring, never did. It's the fact that it was bought and meant for his ex girlfriend that hurt her, the sentiment within in. If he had bought a much cheaper ring, she would be happy with that too. She just wants one meant for her.

[jamesgoldman]

No, should've sold it to me for a dime on the dollar

[Vegasrunner]

You should tell the boyfriend so he can get out of that relationship ASAP

[Anonymous]

I’d be upset. That ring sounds like it’s bad luck.

[Sabretooth]

It depends on how much money he has or if the ring has any deeper significance.

[ChicanaChick]

True. Though she doesn't care about the price of the ring. For her, she would be satified for a cheap one, any ring, as long as it was meant for her. Since it was meant for his ex girlfriend in the past, it changes the whole meaning to her and so she doesn't want it.

[ChicanaChick]

She's more into the sentiment within than the price.

[Sabretooth]

Me? I won't go for the traditional rings and will go further. I'll go for what resonates with her overall.

[Sabretooth]

I was talking about if he can even afford a new ring or if it was a family heirloom.

[ChicanaChick]

He's going to sell it and buy her a new ring. She's simple when it comes to gifts but a sentimental person.

[Sabretooth]

for example;, if I wanted marry this person: I would by her this: Allenby has a berserker rage that makes her eyes go red. I would change the crystals blue and make the band pink to match her pink vest.

[KrakenAttackin]

😂😂😂😂😂. She should just be glad a man is willing to marry her.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why the guy would want to. That ring has some bad juju.

[Anonymous]

Its tacky, but if she doesn't know about its past then I don't see it being all that bad.

[Taylor_C]

Noooo, big nono

[Bklynbadboy12]

That's tacky 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[In_Trance]

Could someone be more materialistic and shallow?

[ChicanaChick]

She actually doesn't care about the price of the ring and even said it could've been either a family heirloom or any cheap ring but at least one she will wear, not a ring that was meant for another woman. Now every time she looks at it, it reminds her that it was meant for his ex girlfriend.

[In_Trance]

But an heirloom wasn't meant for her either... It was bought and accepted by someone else!!!
The logic is flawed and the sense of entitlement is absolutely sickening. When you read all the crap that says guys aren't interested in dating anymore... This is one of the reasons why.

[ChicanaChick]

Personally I wouldn't say much. Since it's now harder to find men that will marry us (too many are serial monogamists that just want girlfriend after girlfriend, living together but no marriage), I would accept it if I were her. I guess it's better than nothing.
At the same thing, she did pointed the difference. It was something along the lines that a heirloom is something that's at least passed from generation to generation, it comes from the family in comparing to someone you bought for an ex girlfriend whom.

[In_Trance]

Is she never going to live in a house if it's not brand new?
Never going to buy a used car?

Either of those would be far more useful through your life than a finger trinket and they were both purchased and accepted by other people before her.
She deserves to be single

[KittygosMeoWW]

Oh that’s not ok at all

[Crazzyyworld]

Why not? It’s his dick

[Jmmmfi4]

Yeah I Def would not do that

[MoonFace2]

Absolutely.

[glennos89]

That's so bad 😱