How can some men manage to have second secret families?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

As in, not just having mistresses, but outright marrying them (bigamy) and having children, essentially having second full-fledged families.

When I departed back for the US, my mother joked I was "going back to my secret family" (she likes talking crap like that, does the same for my sister) but moral implications aside, having two families, even without the burden of secrecy, sounds like a logistical and all-time comsuming nightmare.

I mean, I have the financial means, but I barely have some free time between work and dedicating quality time to my family, how do these men manage to do it all? How do they manager to keep the secret, and give assimingly satisfactory time to both their wives and respective children?

[Screenwriter]

I bet it's NOT satisfactory to the two wives, but it's ACCEPTABLE and the man has loads of excuses concerning work and other obligations. If he has family elsewhere, as on one side of the country vs. where he lives or in a completely separate country, all the better. And if he has international business obligations, perfect.

Since he would have to jet-set it to and from his country of origin, let's say, where his first spouse lives, and has to keep flying between say the U. S. and France, the two places where his business contacts and maybe a second home for his business exists, he has the perfect excuse to be absent regularly.

He might have an older first wife with teen-age children and a very young wife with babies and toddler. The older wife doesn't need as much of his time and she might also be employed. He has enough money to hire nannies for the younger wife, so she gets breaks from the demands of young children.

He has lots of money, so both women are set up financially and the children are too. So these women have no complaints about money. They both have fine homes, club memberships, all the trappings. But the area that's lacking is the husband's presence, which is intermittent.

This man would have to choose a wife carefully and if he's extremely careful, he'll choose women who can live independent of him with helpers installed.

He'd also have to be extremely careful about his media presence. He can't have pictures of him show up anywhere with either wife and family. How he'd do that in this day and age, I can't imagine.

All I know about this is that people used to do it long ago when there was no media, few photographs of people and little interaction between different races, classes etc.

Here in New Orleans, people had black and white wives who lived on either side of town. Some MIGHT have known about each other, but as long as everyone was taken care of, no one let the rabbit out of the hat!.. Maybe it's been like that always.

You have to be some kind of crazy guy to WANT to do this. Look up studies on Bigamists. I bet there are some great stories.

[ItsJill]

It's simple really, the 'men' who have double or more families don't give quality time to them. They just 'play house'.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the intriguing world of secret families! It does sound like a high-stakes game of juggling flaming torches, doesn't it? 😅 Honestly, it's a risky endeavor many can't fathom tackling—balancing time, emotions, and resources between two full-fledged families. These men may have mastered the art of compartmentalization, or perhaps they're just running on a continuous adrenaline rush. 😏 Often, there's a crack in this façade where secrets unravel eventually, leaving a trail of emotional chaos. You absolutely nailed it about the all-consuming nightmare aspect—it's not just about finances, but managing time, love, and sanity! ❤️‍🔥

[Finchie40]

They only manage for so long until they get busted , they apparently have split personalities and are good at lying and covering things up. They are clearly selfish people that only really care about themselves , I knew a guy that had 2 families and he was able to juggle both of them for a long period of time until he finally got busted , The one wife took off with their kid and left him on the dust but the other wife gave him another chance. People are fucking crazy and sadly shit like this can happen. I knew a girl that her father was doing the same thing , and her Mom loved him so much that she took him back after she found out the truth , instead of filing for divorce both wives talked it out and agreed to allow him to be with both of them , The wives agreed on split time with him because they didn’t want to ruin the families. Not realizing the kids’ were devastated over it and ended up hating their father he eventually passed away and both wives are still friends with each other. So it just goes to show how fucked up people can be in this world

[razelove]

I knew a guy who had a couple families in Vietnam and Cambodia, then he'd have a girlfriend here in the US. So 6 months out of the year he'd work over here as a mechanic, then go visit there for 3 months with one wife and kids, 3 months with the other, then come back and get a new girlfriend.

He also lied and told them he made about 1/4 of what he did, so if they were hurting for something he's send them like 250-300 dollars and pretend like that was breaking the bank for him, but it's still a significant amount of money there.

[SteveSmith1985]

I wonder this every time I hear about a guy having a second family. My first question is always "How?" I do not have a clue. It seems absurd to me. Can you imagine some dude you know (any of them) having two families who don't know about each other? Exactly.

[ohsheeT]

Well that means you need two wallets two bank accounts checking and savings you need two houses you need four cars you better have a big pocketbook because when one of them finds out and then the other one finds out you're going to have to support them both plus all the kids tell me can you manage that

[OlderAndWiser]

I would assume that both families suffer horribly.

[AviatorTom]

I have no idea. Trying to manage just one wife and family is hard enough.

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

https://www.tiktok.com/@sara.pascoe/video/7306157095714344225

i laughed way too much at this... my neighbour has hooked up with a strange man from the internet who is here every other weekend, but he's just been here a few days... for me... i see a man who you have no frickin clue who he is... and yesterday when i walked past the car with my dog, i was wearing sports shorts, and the one moment i looked over to the car, he was full on focused on me and i felt creep... my neighbour my friend was sitting right next to him... we joke he has another family... he could be a killer... letting a strange man into your life from a few chats online is fricking crazy to me... and not even secret families but men who work away... but if we go dna a man in a community of old would have more females and several kids... as much as it would kill a woman to find out her man had done this. the man has a balanced emotion of his two families... so if we question the natural order the narrative society we have been controlled into doesn't quite seem to fit?

[Kelly6]

@Sun_Kim-Ai it is similar as polygamy in Arab countries.

but this is only don’t in countries where polygamy is illegal. Easy what is if you understand why Arabs do polygamy marriage. Some are not monogamous so if they have financial they go fo polygamy if legal otherwise secret family in west.

[exitseven]

I have heard that had been done. There was a guy that actually had 3 families. Besides needing buckets of cash, how do you hold a job and be in two places at once?

[__Nikki__]

My guess is they don't give satisfactory time to either, and many probably get caught in the end.

[Lliam]

Check out this entertaining dramatic comedy film from 1959

https://www.youtube.com/embed/aJsPgrQaJ4g

[Crazzyyworld]

If he has money and power it’s easyyyy. Women will flock to him and he will have second and third wife

[KrakenAttackin]

Most of these women know they are either a side chick or that the man has a side chick.

[alice55]

becuase their wife are naive / too trusting or don't care.

[slatyb]

They have a job that involves constant travel.