Would you break up with your partner for being attracted to someone else?

[RavenWing057]

We have been dating for 9 mths. Known each other for 2 years now. Good man with really good morals. I have never met anyone like him. We met through work, got laid off, and he helped me out to get a position at his next job. We have now worked at our 3rd job together, he always wants to be together and take me wherever he goes.
There are some specifics but to make this not too long , he broke up with me for being attracted to someone else. It was an excoworker from a different location that he now brought in. This excoworker (now coworker), we did have attraction and a crush on each other before we dated. But nothing was said or acted upon between the both of us.

I didn’t bring it up because I didn’t think it would cause a problem. The coworker now even has his own girlfriend. My boyfriend, could feel some tension between us & some nervousness on my end on his first day back working with us at the new location. Mind you, we are all very respectful people.

He asked me about it tonight, & I denied it at first, but eventually I told him that his feelings were right and there was some attraction between the coworker and I before we dated. He says that I should’ve told him about it before he brought him in. He says no woman that he is with can be attracted to anyone else but him.

I understand where he’s coming from, but I’ve explained to him nothing has happened, I’m with him and not the coworker. That if I wanted to be with the coworker I could’ve done that much early on before we dated. But my boyfriend is not having it.

I felt that this wasn’t a big enough reason to break up, but he said I broke his trust. I understand he could feel there was something there between us, but I haven’t acted upon anything. The coworker never expressed his feelings to me.
He said he will always be my friend but can never be with me again. He has shut me off, he won’t allow himself to be soft with me again.

Am I wrong and a bad person? Tell it to me straight please

[Finchie40]

Your boyfriend is a moron , you were honest about your past and he couldn’t handle tt? Clearly when you did nothing wrong whatsoever and you were being honest? So Just look at this like he was doing you a favor , for no longer wasting
Your time , Go find yourself a better
Guy that understands you are a human being with feelings and that it’s ok to find other people attractive.

[RavenWing057]

He says he can’t handle things like that. That to others it may be normal, but not for him. He said he especially could not handle my facial expressions when the coworker and I saw each other. I am still hopeful he will turn around. I think it’s just an absolute shame to break up over something like this. I feel like I am a respectful person and I have cut out anyone who needed to be cut out that was a distraction. There is a part of me that feels it is right to part but at the same time I don’t. I have never had anyone not trust me over something like this. My heart hurts.

[Finchie40]

If he can’t trust you about something minor like that , just imagine all the other things he won’t trust you on , you are best to move on

[PeachyPie93]

But she is having sexual tension with someone other than her boyfriend, right in front of him no less.. I would have a problem with that too..

[Finchie40]

It didn’t sound like sexual tension to me , she was just saying at one time before her boyfriend was in the picture that she had an interest in that guy , but not now. if she acted on it, then that be one thing but all she was doing was being honest about her past to him. So he is the one being jealous and insecure over something she did before he was even on the picture.

[Finchie40]

By her boyfriend demanding that he doesn’t want to be with a girl that never found any other guy attractive is in for a rude awakening when he realizes he will never be able to find a girl that didn’t have crushes previously to him , So he is best just to stay single if that’s the case. Someone’s past is someone’s’ past , their past as nothing to do with anyone that wasn’t in the picture at that time , so that’s silly to think that way

[Finchie40]

If that was the case there would be no relationships whatsoever lol

[PeachyPie93]

"My boyfriend, could feel some tension between us & some nervousness on my end on his first day back working with us at the new location."
Alright but why would she be acting weird or having any tension if she was over this guy? I get if he won't accept that she was attracted to someone before that would be really crazy, but if she still has something for this other guy well then it isn't worth staying with her.

[Finchie40]

Yea I guess if she was biting her lip and being all giggly around him then that could definitely raise some questions of concern and if that’s the case then she dug her own grave with that.

[PeachyPie93]

If you are having feelings for another person you work with I can see why he would dump you.. You aren't wrong but neither is your boyfriend for not choosing to stay with you. I would expect if my partner loved me they would lose all feelings for that other person, and if they don't well then they don't really love me and I wouldn't see a reason to waste my years with them. Like sure you can think someone is attractive but not so much that you would be having sexual tension and acting weird around them..

[bowenw]

You are human and your boyfriend should accept that. I doubt he has not had a crush on someone when in a relationship with someone else.

[RavenWing057]

He claims he doesn’t and never had. He is a very faithful man. He said he can’t handle seeing my facial expression when the coworker and I saw each other. I didn’t realize he could tell, I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful in any way, shape, or form. But because of that, he says he lost trust in me. I have cut everyone who needed to be cut from my life that was a distraction. I felt like I did my best, but my best wasn’t enough.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

I wish you all the best.

[AI Opinion]

Your aim on GAG is to navigate the tricky terrains of relationships, my dear. 😏 Attraction can be a slippery slope, but remember, feeling an attraction and acting on it are two different ball games. You were open and honest with your partner, which takes courage, so kudos to you! Your ex's strict stance of wanting his partner to be attracted only to him seems a bit much. Jealousy and insecurity might be flashing those red flags, but they don't define your worth. Remember, you can't control initial attractions, just how you handle them—and you clearly did right! Keep being true to yourself, and you'll be golden, darling! 💖

[Staximus]

You're not a bad person, you didn't fool around with the guy behind your boyfriend's back. He's just too insecure. You should be happy it ended now, and not after you got married and had kids.

[RavenWing057]

May I ask why this is, why I should be happy now rather than later? This is the best relationship I’ve ever been in. I don’t think I could ever find a man like him again. Its not worth trying to fix?

[Staximus]

Because the guy is an insecure idiot, acting like you didn't have the right to be attracted to somebody before he came along.

[Staximus]

His expectations are totally unrealistic

[Oldschool1981]

No, not at all. My wife is currently seeing a guy on the side. It's her workplace boyfriend. For me, it's okay for my wife to have side guys if she wants.

[MK1997]

God. Just why. That's so stupid

[MK1997]

Your boyfriend was an absolute retard

[RavenWing057]

He said all he can't handle my facial expressions when the coworker and I saw each other. That it made him feel like a second choice. So it is why he said he can’t trust me!

[soe11]

The answer is no.

[Crazzyyworld]

No he is my whore

[Kelly6]

@crazzyyworld
your whore?
meaning?

[Crazzyyworld]

@Kelly6 men = whore, I am a pimp

[Kelly6]

@crazzyyworld you better answer my other question, looks like it is specially for you

[Crazzyyworld]

@Kelly6 all men are whore so I would keep all the whore as a pimp