Scared to end a long term relationship?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years now, but our relationship isn't the least bit functional anymore. We have lived together for a little over 6 months now and things have just gotten worse and worse. Anytime we argue he always tells me if I don't like the way things are to leave, and then he makes comments about how I could never find another boyfriend because I'm a mom. Of course I know that isn't true, but every time I get the courage to leave it fades just as fast. We met when we were 15, and he is the only boyfriend I've had. I have become so used to always having someone there that the thought of being alone scares me beyond belief. I have been wanting to get out of the relationship for a long time though, I just don't know how to get out and stay away. Has anyone else gone through a break up in a long term relationship? Any advice?

[emily155]

I'm the same as you. Been with my ex for almost 5 years and were living together for 9 months. I broke up with him because I can tell he didn't want to try anymore. We were stuck in this place and were more like roommates than anything else. He was my first love. It's been almost 6 months since the breakup and it doesn't feel any easier. However, I really learned a lot about myself. For one thing, I can be independent and on my own. The fear of being alone made me go out and made new friends and did more fun things because I didn't want to be alone. I actually had a very good summer. In fact, it came and went and I didn't even noticed it. Basically, I am now in a relationship with myself. The only person I care to make happy is me. The only person whose feelings are important are mine.

A few months before we broke up, I entertain the idea of life without him and feel the fear of being alone. Now that I've been doing it for almost half a year (wow...) it feels empowering. I'm working on improving myself physically and emotionally because I don't want to enter my next relationship as an emotional wreck. I treated it as a long learning experience. God gave me him so I can learn how to love and be a better person. He taught me things that I'm grateful for. He was my best friend and will always have a special place in my heart.

Just know that everyone relationship you're in will not work out until you find the one that does. That's all part of living and learning.

[sammay]

It's hard, but you've got to think about your happiness.

The first month alone will be very hard! If you surround yourself with girlfriends, family and fill your social calendar with activities, you will find that there is so much more out there.

I know it's scary to end a long term relationship, but it sounds as though there's not much respect for you.

If you have a child together, that will make things more difficult as it's not like you can cut him out of your life for the time you need to recover but maybe just go on a break from each other for 2 weeks or so and experience life as a single girl :)

[Anonymous]

omg I've been through the same thing. I was scared to break up too because I couldn't picture my ife without him, but we were fight almost everyday and stupid little things and when we lived together it got worse too!...i eventually broke it off but it was one of the hardest things to do because every memory I had for the past 4 years had him in it, and what made it even worse was that he didn't seem that bothered by the break up. you just have to be head strong and realize that the break up is going to to be better for you

[dudeman]

you may be scared to break up, but this relationship has probably gone on for 5 and a half years to many, you really want to waste more of your youth on this guy.

[italykam]

Wow that's terrible :( Well I would say if he tells you to leave when you guys fight at all then I would do it and never come back to him how much he may beg you too.