My boyfriend keeps hurting my feelings, but says I'm too sensitive. Am I overreacting, or is he being unfair?

[Anonymous]

I used to love him very much, but the pain I inflicted on him involuntarily wore me out. Now I feel less love but more peace. The highs and lows have turned into indifference, and with it freedom. Is it better to choose calmness over attachment, security over longing? Maybe that's where I'm supposed to stay.

[MisterWack]

You should open up about this to your boyfriend… That you didn’t mean to hurt him and in doing so you’ve now lost love and just say things just to keep the ‘peace’ / everything calm when you lost focus on love, intimacy, romance, and all….

Tell him, you need to have a relationship of love, intimacy, romance, etc.(be specific) and if he doesn’t want you to have that or pushes you down… Leave. You deserve the best and a loving relationship, relationships are for love & not just keeping peace. If he can’t see the loving warm person right in front of him then he doesn’t deserve it. Your happiness shouldn’t come at the expense of his happiness / vice versa, a relationship is two halves working together and it sounds absolutely one sided to the point you just want to keep him happy even if it means you are not when he isn’t willing to put in the same for you….

[MisterWack]

*Open up, don’t be afraid and just do it because you’ll know if he is with you or not… I’ve seen women be “too sensitive” though this is changing your mindset / making you feel you don’t need love in a relationship, no it is the foundation… If you lost love then you lost it.

[Summeroflove]

Good people unintentionally hurt one another nobody is perfect but it’s a red flag when someone is at best indifferent and at worst seems to enjoy hurting you. I’m sure if you did something that bothers him he wouldn’t like being told he’s too sensitive.

If you’re NOT happy break up. Don’t waste your time and don’t waste his. That’s really the end of it… Some people aren’t meant to be together

[aromatic_xo]

If you’ve tried talking to him and he’s being dismissive, it might show that he’s not valuing your feelings or want to fix things. A healthy relationship needs open communication and mutual effort to work things out

[PeachyPie93]

I would say you guys should breakup it could be emotional abuse or you could just be not compatible.. either way it sounds like you are better apart.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating relationship dynamics is like a dance, sometimes stepping on toes! If you're feeling less love and more peace, that’s a sign. His dismissal of your feelings suggests a bit of a red flag. Finding freedom and calmness can be more rewarding than constant attachment rollercoasters. Choosing security and peace sounds like you're crafting a healthier emotional space. Trust your instincts; they’re rarely wrong when it comes to love. Stay fabulous and true to yourself! 😘💫❤️

[ohsheeT]

It has nothing to do with your feelings it has something to do with him manipulating you making you believe that it's okay for him to say anything that he wants to when he wants to that's b******* and then call it something else that's wrong

[drummer]

It sounds like you’ve reached a point where the relationship no longer brings you happiness. If the highs and lows have turned into indifference, that’s a sign that something has shifted. It’s not about being overly sensitive; it’s about how his actions are affecting you. Choosing peace over attachment can be the healthiest option if staying in the relationship is causing more pain than fulfillment. Sometimes, stepping away is necessary for your own well-being.

[Asker]

I appreciate you helping me see that I deserve more than constant pain. Thanks for your support.

[babet]

It sounds like this relationship has drained you more than it has fulfilled you. If you’ve reached a point where peace feels like detachment rather than contentment, it might be a sign that you’re emotionally done. Love shouldn’t be a constant battle between hurt and indifference. You deserve a relationship where your feelings are acknowledged, not dismissed. Staying out of habit or fear of the unknown will only prolong your unhappiness. Maybe it's time to let go.

[Asker]

You’ve really given me a lot to think about. I know I deserve a relationship where my feelings are valued, and I appreciate you reminding me of that.

[Lliam]

Anyone who continually hurts your feeling and dismisses it by saying you are too sensitive is abusive. He does respect you or care about your happiness. He's gaslighting you.

You're better off without that bag of shit.

Find someone who loves you and cares about you.

[lightbulb27]

can relate, been through that.

might depend on what it is he is doing to hurt your feelings. you might have to both "grow" a bit... heal... to make it work.

as it is, sounds like a big divide.

we are all different in sensitivity, have our own wounds. have to honur the other persons wounds.

Most anyone can handle a drop of water. But 1000 slow drops will drive them nuts, into a hole, and insane. Chinese water torture!

[Subtle_Luminescence]

Doesn't sound normal. I would say that it depends on what things did he tell you that you're being sensitive but reading into the details of your question and understanding that you're worn out because of all that.. It isn't worth it. Leave this one.

[KingslayerC]

How did you involuntarily inflict pain on him, and why did it wear you out?

And it's impossible to know if you're being sensitive or not unless you explain how he has been hurting your feelings. Like, if it hurts your feelings that he won't agree to stay with you while you explore a cuckoldry fetish against him, you are being sensitive. If he's spending his entire day ogling thirst trap girls on social media, you aren't being sensitive. All about the context.

[candycane]

Your feelings are valid, and being told you're "too sensitive" can be dismissive. Love shouldn't leave you feeling worn out. If peace feels better than the emotional rollercoaster, that says a lot. Healthy relationships bring both security and deep connection you shouldn't have to choose one over the other. Trust yourself. If indifference has replaced love, it may be time to ask if staying is truly right for you. You deserve both love and peace.

[Asker]

Thank you for your kind words! It’s comforting to hear that my feelings are valid. You’re right peace and love should go hand in hand.

[Alwayreckles93]

You needs to break up with that jerk. You do not need this negative in your life. Find some other guy that will appreciate you.

[FunnyButNotFunnyHaHa]

For your own sake, and the sake of your boyfriend, you should end the relationship.

Indifference with peace is never a good reason to stay in a relationship.

Get back out there and find someone you actually like.

Good luck.

[Nikki1989]

Healthy relationships require open and honest communication. If your boyfriend consistently dismisses your feelings, it's a sign that he's not respecting your emotional needs.

[LiamJHayden]

If he is doing so after you told him, whether anyone else thinks you are overreacting is irrelevant. He doesn't think enough of you to avoid hurting your feelings. You should dump him.

[Anonymous]

You are quite entitled to feel the way you do; he is a self-centred trash man; rid of him; you deserve better.

[Staximus]

"the pain I inflicted on him involuntarily wore me out." What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

[Jackblue]

Telling people they are overreacting can be a form of gaslighting.

[Anonymous]

Sounds spiteful?

Damage has been done.

[Quigly]

I think you should see a real Doctor about your hypersensitivity and not Love Doctor Brad.

[WhitneySnow]

How does he hurt your feelings?

[slatyb]

Dump him immediately.