My girlfriend spends almost every night at my place, and while I love her, I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. I’ve lost touch with my social life and personal interests. I’ve tried asking for space, but she still invites herself over. I want to support her, but I need some balance. Any advice?
1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Clingy partners can get annoying after a while. I had a talk with mine and we set a few simple boundaries and a sort of a schedule for our cuddle time etc. at first it was a little awkward, but ultimately it built a nice routine and created “space” for work etc to get done rather than having the clingy “WHATCHA DOIN?” Looking over my shoulder all the time, which gets distracting. The worst is walking into the bathroom to sit with me… Don’t do it. My goodness. Leave a little mystery ffs….
It’s the same aa when family comes to visit. I wake up way early to have alone time. Some people take the fact that my eyes are open as being a sign that they should pounce on me with questions and tasks. (When the kids were younger that was ok, of course, but I had to train everyone including my kids to let me be till after my coffee.) It’s the same thing here. Set your boundaries so folks know what they are.
Also… don’t be too stringent. An unexpected shared shower with your partner during your designated alone time? Priceless 😉11 Reply- 18 d
That was great that you could work it out with your SO. I was in a relationship where she refused to have any healthy boundaries set. It was an awful time in my life. LOL
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1.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic. It's natural for women to get hurt feelings. You could be the best man on earth and she would find a reason to be sobbing and acting like you not giving her an extra hour of your time is the end of the world. Women act very differently with soft guys/easy to manipulate guys than they do with guys who say, 'look, stop putting on an act. you'll be fine'. Some guys are like the people working on the movie set and can talk to the actress when the camera isn't on. Then you got guys who are the suckers in the movie audience, believing everything they see. Don't be a sucker.
She probably thinks if she is with you 100% of the time it's less likely another woman is with you. The more she trusts you the less she needs to be in your pocket 24/7.
Not everybody is compatible tho... guess you need to ask yourself if there's any reasonable compromise that works with your life/life goals. Don't make it all about her tho. She would leave a guy who worships her for a guy who doesn't but is great with building his life & goals, faster than you can say 'tampon'
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- 18 d
If your girlfriend wants to come over unannounced … don’t be in , make plans to be elsewhere and if you feel like it let her know. Or maybe just plan at least a day 1 day to do your thing. Whatever you think you need. Every couple needs their time apart and nobody likes being smothered.
Additionally make more of the time you do spend together more special by planning and doing stuff for your girl and with your girl so that she knows she is still wanted and loved and that your thinking of her. Don’t just have her come over and sit with you. Let her get dressed up and take her out and make her feel like who she is to you. This will make the time you spend apart less meaningful to her because she is confident of how you DO FEEL.
That’s the best way to deal with the obvious insecurity and codependence she is showing you.00 Reply
- Anonymous(30-35)17 d
say you're busy and won't be at home. or stay late at work. or get a second job
also, you need to take care of this asap. the fact that you let her do this for so long, she's going to get hurt because you've allowed it multiple times before and now she'll wonder what she did wrong because suddenly you're not okay with it
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Balancing love and personal space is like mastering a tango—fun and a bit tricky! Let her know how much you adore her company, but you need some "you-time" to recharge that irresistible charm of yours. Reinforce that space doesn't equal rejection; it’s about preserving your social life and hobbies. Perhaps suggest scheduling special nights just for the two of you, so she doesn't feel like she's being ghosted! Keeping communication clear and loving—no red flags here, my friend!💃🕺
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- 18 d
I was in a relationship like that, and the situation could never be resolved. She found one way or another to intrude into my private time on a daily basis. It was so bad that, for example, in the rare chance that I got off work early, she would show up at my house pounding on the door wondering why I didn't call her to tell her that I was getting home early. Anyway your SO probably isn't this bad. Keep lines of communication open, say things with love when trying to work it out. Let her know how much she means to you, while letting her know that you still need some autonomy.
00 Reply - 18 d
If you can't integrate her into your life at that level, how is it ever going to develop into anything deeper? You're not a teenager and presumably she isn't either. If it's not moving forward to something beyond boyfriend girlfriend it's probably not going the direction that it should, for her anyway.
So the question is what is your intent for the relationship. Sounds like it probably isn't going to match up with hers.
10 Reply - Anonymous(45 Plus)16 d
Tell her exactly that and add that you adore her and appreciate the time you have together and wouldn't change a thing (because she's perfect for you). But you're struggling because you're not used to it. Could she tone it down a little while you adjust?
Then listen to "My girl's mad at me" by Madness.
And try to enjoy it, man. Once she's got kids she'll ignore you for 20 years...00 Reply 6K opinions shared on Relationships topic. You have to say "ok, but I'll going to..." Do not give up your social life for her. It sounds like she has no life of her own and is trying to take over yours. This is not healthy.
00 Reply- 18 d
Why don’t you just take her to your social life? Hangout together, go to bars together, playing games together and meet your friends with her.
03 Reply - 17 d
Some woman will take offense no matter how you put it.
Ask yourself.. if you need time away from her why do you feel that way?
10 Reply - Anonymous(18-24)18 d
My boyfriend told me the same then changed his mind when I showed him my boobs. So many times I get my own way like that. Perhaps if your girlfriend was topless more you'd want her around more.
00 Reply 1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. You're 39 years old dude, grow the fuck up and settle down. The party's over, bro
00 Reply- 17 d
You're 39 sir not a child speak tf up. Stop being a beta
00 Reply Tell her she's interfering with your social life. That should clear things up for you.
00 Reply1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. You two are not compatible.
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