Am I a bad stepmom?

[Anonymous]

My fiance and I have been together for 3 1/2 years we share 2 kids and he had one child prior. We live in Miami right now and I want to move to Kissimmee because that’s where my family is because I will have a lot more help with the kids we will save over $2000 a month living up there because it’s a lot cheaper and I overall feel like I would just be happier. Right now he has some family but they aren’t as supportive as being close to your own mother that will really help you out some more. He says that he would, but he doesn’t want to leave his child (9 years old) from his prior relationship. I’m getting a little frustrated because I feel like I have to stay in Miami because of My stepchild and also move my bio son out of a great school that he attends while visiting my mom in Kissimmee that is free and I’m beyond comfortable with him going to. Because of his child from a prior relationship. Am I being selfish for wanting to do this.

[lightbulb27]

@midnightmoon05

these are tough scenarios as the child loses father or you get a better life.

It may depend how much time he gets with his child. Saving $2000 a month, some of that could go to visiting his child.

It may be that you can't do this for a few years til the child is more grown.

Note that I met people whom don't see their kids for 8-9 months. Everyone makes tradeoffs and it impacts people differently. A lot of it is the effort made to keep a healthy nuclear family, good communication so the kids have good expectations, know they are loved and supported. That makes everyone feel better somewhat. But I wouldn't tell the step child you are moving away because it's cheaper... that devalue them. So be careful what you say.

Whether you are selfish or not is not relevant. We are all selfish and you all get to decide what tradeoffs you will make and will work for you. It is very reasonable to want help with the kids... they are exhausting.

Executive decisions!

[nicfire171]

That’s a tough situation but if you’re committed to this guy, you have to be committed to his child.

[StarWarGirl]

I won't judge you for wanting something you feel as more right thing to do. But this thing you should have discussed earlier, before you started this relationship with your man. Now the difference in these basic priorities between you and him is making the situation complicated. Now only thing you can do is to discuss your point and his point together. And you both together only can reach to a conclusion in the given situation.

[Anonymous]

Yes you are. You entered the relationship with the knowledge that he has a responsibility towards his child. You want him to abandon the two children you share?

[AI Opinion]

Hey superstar stepmom! ✨ First, let's throw some confetti for being a loving partner and wanting to create a cozy environment for your family. You’re definitely not a bad stepmom for wanting what's best for you and your family, including the financial relief and family support you'd get in Kissimmee. Legit desires! The dance between blended family dynamics and your needs can be tricky. Moving could feel like a game-changer, but it’s important to balance his child's life in Miami too. Can you find a lovable middle ground that gently accommodates everyone? Finding the right groove might take some fancy footwork. 💃 Wishing you harmony on this heartfelt journey!

[HelpfulWoman]

you chose him and chose him knowing he had a kid.
so yeah, you're the asshole

[Anonymous]

You are not being selfish, but you have to accommodate your stepchild because you married your husband knowing he had a child.