My ex tends to blame me and make me feel like an awful parent.
To start he left me when I was 3 months pregnant shortly after meeting his girlfriend on the job. I went through a rough pregnancy alone. He was also in a relationship that he told me had been over for a few years. They were just supposed to have been friends.. until I was going to leave and he asked me to make it work and said he’d be honest with the ex about us … that didn’t happen and a month later I found out I was pregnant and was being asked if I was a surrogate.
After my daughter was born he was called back to work her second week of life. He would go away for a month - mo th and a half and then come home for 2 weeks. I was on my own mostly , but he takes offence if I say I did it mostly on my own her first year of life.
His ex helps care for our daughter because he refuses to let anyone do it outside of her daycare provider. My friend of 20 years had a suicide attempt at 17 with postpartum depression, lost her kid and is now 30 with custody and a great job, but he claims she has mental health issues over it so not fit.
He wanted week on week off , but due to his work schedule.. his week home falls on my week I arrange off with work to have her. He wants her so I give her to him and just ask for her days I have off in between because after that week I’m back to work.
He won’t allow me to take her home after my 12 hr shifts at 730 because he feels she’s going to question. If she’s even staying at her dads ( his ex still lives there ) or going and feels it’s not good structure for her. So I lose more time.
She’s recently started saying “ fuck, fuck off, fuck sakes “ because I do have a potty mouth unfortunately and he gives me a cold shoulder and treats me like I’m disgusting for it and a bad mom. Also tells me I’m a bad mom for putting her on time outs.
I just feel broken and need an outsiders opinion if I really am a bad mom.
To start he left me when I was 3 months pregnant shortly after meeting his girlfriend on the job. I went through a rough pregnancy alone. He was also in a relationship that he told me had been over for a few years. They were just supposed to have been friends.. until I was going to leave and he asked me to make it work and said he’d be honest with the ex about us … that didn’t happen and a month later I found out I was pregnant and was being asked if I was a surrogate.
After my daughter was born he was called back to work her second week of life. He would go away for a month - mo th and a half and then come home for 2 weeks. I was on my own mostly , but he takes offence if I say I did it mostly on my own her first year of life.
His ex helps care for our daughter because he refuses to let anyone do it outside of her daycare provider. My friend of 20 years had a suicide attempt at 17 with postpartum depression, lost her kid and is now 30 with custody and a great job, but he claims she has mental health issues over it so not fit.
He wanted week on week off , but due to his work schedule.. his week home falls on my week I arrange off with work to have her. He wants her so I give her to him and just ask for her days I have off in between because after that week I’m back to work.
He won’t allow me to take her home after my 12 hr shifts at 730 because he feels she’s going to question. If she’s even staying at her dads ( his ex still lives there ) or going and feels it’s not good structure for her. So I lose more time.
She’s recently started saying “ fuck, fuck off, fuck sakes “ because I do have a potty mouth unfortunately and he gives me a cold shoulder and treats me like I’m disgusting for it and a bad mom. Also tells me I’m a bad mom for putting her on time outs.
I just feel broken and need an outsiders opinion if I really am a bad mom.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Number one you're not a bad mom. Number two you need to take this dumb motherfucker to court and set up strict visitation rights whatever the fuck you want to call it. Custody. Have your attorney work to make it in your favor. Once it's set in stone, don't budge from it. He wants to be an asshole and call you a bad mother and all this and that. Then he can play by the rules that were set by the court. Keep doing what you doing. You're not a bad mother.
Thank you. I’m just so torn
Torn? Stop being a nice person. He's the one that left you. He's the one that should be making adjustments to his schedule not you. He's a manipulator. Look back to past. He's controlled everything in your life and now you're not even together anymore and he's still doing it. Take control of your life. Stand up for yourself. Stick to your guns and be a bitch