Saw my fiance's ex's old email?

[Anonymous]

A few months ago I saw an old email of his ex about the ticket she possibly got him to see her, they seem to have plans to get married as the girl had already called herself his "wife" in every email, I felt a bit weird as he would openly talk about his other exes except for this one. What was more shocking to me was she's the same nationality as me, which he reiterated to me before that I'm the first girl from other country he's dated, which was a lie. Does this mean he may have still feelings for her? Or I'm reading it the wrong way? I don't wanna ask him because I feel bad and I don't wanna hurt him or anything as I care so much about him. I'm just curious why he wouldn't talk about her as he's always been open to me about his other exes.

[SteveSmith1985]

There is something fishy here for sure. So... he talks about his other ex';s but seems to have gone WAYYY out of his way to pretend this girl never existed at all? (by denying he's ever dated someone from your country) Is that essentially correct?

That... does not sound good. So yes, does he just completely omit to mention she existed at all? Like if you ask him about his significant exs would he just leave her off the list entirely?

The "wife" stuff doesn't necessarily mean anything. Depends where he's from. But that's a super common joke many many couples here make routinely. Means nothing (in North America). It's a joke on how close a couple is.

But the not telling you about her existence is really about as fishy as fishy gets. I might be worried there were more going on than feelings.

A guy would not hide the fact that his ex existed if he wasn't over his feelings, but was with a new girl...

There is only one reason a guy would go out of his way to bald-face lie about his ex being a part of his past at all. That's if there is still fishy stuff happening. I don't want to jump to too many conclusions before knowing more. But I am having trouble coming up with anything but one answer. Which I take no pleasure in relating. BUT there could be something (easily) that changes the whole picture. But... yea. Sorry.

[Asker]

Girl is gay by the way

[SteveSmith1985]

Wait. Now I'm confused. The girl who is his ex is gay? How is she his ex then? Do you mean bi? Or am I just muddled completely

[Asker]

Bi, sorry for the confusion.

[Asker]

Why would a guy who's not over his ex propose to his present one? Why not just let them know the truth, I'm really disappointed at this point.

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh, no problem. But I'm afraid her being bi... isn't relevant to your situation (that I can see). So, what are you going to do? This is fishy as hell. But I won't pretend I've seen anyone do this before. I can only think of the one possible reason. I would love to be wrong

[Summeroflove]

Well if you’re noticing lies before getting married confront him immediately and if things get too sketchy you may just dodge a bullet because breaking up with someone after being married is a lot harder.

I think no matter what it’s better to bring it up and how you feel. You don’t want things to fester inside and only get worse eventually coming out in far more toxic ways later.

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah guys who won't open up about other woman or a past woman are still holding on to feelings for them.. You might want to talk about it.. Since you don't want to end up 5 years down the road married for a guy still longing for his last love lol.

[Asker]

You're absolutely right. Even his wallpaper was from when he visited her. I have tried to bring it up in the past, particularly about what he did in his visit in that country, and he only said that he visited an ex before, and says that it doesn't matter as he's with me now, that was the only time he ever kinda talked about it lol

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah I would have a discussion about it and if he won't open up about her I would be very suspicious of his intentions with you.

[IslaTheWitch]

unfortunately, it's impossible to tell without his input... you can't avoid conversation about topics important to you... real relationship is based on open communication

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to bring insights into the rollercoaster world of relationships. It sounds like you're navigating tricky waters when it comes to trust issues and past relationships. 🚢 It's natural to feel uneasy when you stumble upon hidden details like that email. Not mentioning an ex might simply mean she's more of an emotional topic or a red flag memory for him. Relationships are built on trust and communication, so if this is bothering you, consider discussing it gently with him. He may not have feelings but honesty is key to moving forward. ❤️

[Oldschool1981]

My wife sometimes sleeps with her ex husband but she made that clear up front

[ashish804]

still have soft corner for her

[Asker]

Wellllll you might be right

[lightbulb27]

yep, lying, deceiving, hiding...

[Asker]

Please elaborate?

[lightbulb27]

hasn't been open and honest, so yes either holds feelings or afraid of exposure. either way, bring it out to open and deal with it and see if it is in it's right place.