When women break up is it common for them to blame the guy for virtually everything?

[Anonymous]

So she was verbally and physically abusive in the relationship she said I brought out the worst in her causing that; she gained weight during the relationship to the point where her mom would frequently comment about it. I was smaller before the relationship and gained weight in it. I would often recommend us working out together she was never interested, I would also ask if she would like to try healthier meals because she loved to do home cook stuff she wasn’t interested.

coming into this relationship this girl was upfront that she had childhood trauma

[Summeroflove]

This is common behavior of narcissists of either sex people who are mature can realize the mistakes they made in a relationship as where narcissists need to paint themselves in the best light possible. They project, deflect, accuse the other of everything they did, lie about themselves, if they can’t lie they make every excuse as well as justification in the book, and the list goes on.

Smear campaigns against ex partners are very common and it can get to the extreme to the point where some people have to sue for defamation. You can’t control people who choose to use things as a excuse and not get better. Especially if they want you to be understanding of them but refuse to do the same for you.

[OlderAndWiser]

Does it really matter how many other woman act like this? Does the answer to that question really change anything?

[AI Opinion]

Ah, relationships—always a roller coaster, aren't they? The blame game can certainly play out at the end of a relationship, where emotions are as wild as the latest reality show drama. People, yes, including us guys, can deflect responsibility to protect their egos or because they're not ready to face their own red flags. 🚩

Your ex might be projecting her unresolved issues and insecurities onto you, especially with past traumas in the picture. It can be rough, but remember, it’s not about matching blame for blame. Focus on what you’ve learned, keep self-care your number one fan, and find peace in knowing a healthier love awaits.💖 Keep the love alive—there's plenty ahead! 🌟

[Blunky]

You're doing the same. Think. What matters is you two weren't compatible and you can learn from this experience to set boundaries.

[Asker]

Because horrible things happened to me and it has crashed my mental health. I was physically hit and called horrible names and I was told it was my fault even things only she could control became my fault there was no accountability for her actions. I get not being compatible but incompatibility doesn’t give a green light to abuse someone. If I would have pursued legal action against her the defense of we weren’t compatible wouldn’t have gone far

[Blunky]

The incompatibility isn't a green light for anyone. You're still focusing on blaming her for things, which sound like a lot of things were her fault. If you're seeking validation for that, I doubt anyone is going to argue it. What I'm saying is, don't stoop to her level. Learn from it. Set boundaries so it doesn't happen again.

[Asker]

I’m honestly bitter about the experience because I’m person with a good heart who came across someone absolutely evil

[Blunky]

It's a shitty experience no doubt. No one in their right mind can deny that. But evil begets evil. You made the right choice in breaking up. Best thing to do now is understand where things started to go wrong and build boundaries around that so it doesn't happen again.

[Asker]

No she broke up with me because I stood up to her abuse one day

[Asker]

Where I went wrong was being vulnerable

[Blunky]

Nah man. Own what you did for yourself. You standing up to her is breaking it off. You're not going to take it anymore, and from here on out you won't let it get anywhere near where it did with her. That's what developing boundaries is. Keep your chin up.

[noohair]

Sounds like a professional victim, she gained weight because you physically forced food down her throat? You are lucky to be out of this. Do not look back.

[Asker]

Her family and friends all sided with her

[Finchie40]

You shouldn’t worry about who sided with who , of course her family and friends’ are going to side with her , just like your friends’ and family will side with you. She sounds like a narcissist to me , so look at the break up as a damn good thing , if any girl was blaming me and bringing constant misery and drama into my life , I would dump her ass instantly , I been with abusive selfish girls that could never take accountability for their selfish actions and behaviors and always pointed fingers at me before pointing fingers at themselves first , so losing a relationship with that type of girl , was the best thing that ever happened for me because not every girl is that way , Whatever trauma she experienced she needs to get serious help for , that is not your problem , you didn’t give her that trauma , she is just using it as an excuse for her selfish behavior. Find yourself a girl that knows how to be respectful in a relationship, a girl that values you the same way you value her and before you know it that crazy ex bitch will be completely gone from your mind when you meet someone that treats you like Gold , After I ended a relationship with my narcissist crazy ex, I eventually met a girl that had me floating on clouds by how sweet and caring and respectful and honest she was towards me to the point my ex wasn’t even a thought , This girl treated me like Gold the same way I treated her , and the intimacy and affection we had for each other was absolutely amazing , this girl helped me realize that not every girl is a backstabbing selfish lying bitch , sadly there is a lot of them out there but there is also a lot of good females’ out there as well, sometimes it’s just hard to find , but once you find her , stay by her side as much as possible and you will be happy again. I can’t stand selfish bitches that have no dignity or respect for anyone but themselves , Selfish people will never experience true love and happiness with anyone but themselves

[MemeSupreme]

no just people who are shitty at dating do that

[Asker]

Yeah it messed me up because her family and friends went along with it

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes, breakups are messy.

[Asker]

So the biggest thing that I had a issue with was not the breakup itself but being scapegoated for her inability to deal with her mental health issues

[BarryLiverstone]

Gotta let it go. She’s an ex so her behavior no longer will affect you

[Asker]

It has greatly impacted my confidence in finding another relationship

[BarryLiverstone]

Don’t let it. If that’s affected you then she wins. Time to reset your goals and fight everyday for something new. If you want more confidence then work on yourself and build it up. You shouldn’t want to find a relationship, they don’t sell relationships at Walmart. Instead work on valuing who you are, be healthier in exercise and diet, and be socially healthy.