Why is it never the guy's fault for women's bad experiences with men?

[Cherrylicious]

Every time a woman speaks on her bad experiences with men than people are so quick to tell her "all men aren't the same", "you're choosing the wrong men", "stop chasing fuck boys" or "choose better men" as if we are intentionally thinking of an ideal mate like "I want a guy who is cruel to me and who cheats on me and lie to me and leads me on and don't return my calls or texts I would love that in a man" when men are HIGHLY NOTORIOUS for these typical behavioral patterns when dating women yet when we call them out on it, then we are "bitter".

Women get blamed for everything if we are sexually harassed it's because we're "playing games" or "teasing them" if a woman gets raped, then it's because she was dressing provocatively or she was "at the wrong place at the wrong time" if we get cheated on it's because we nag too much or we pushed him to do it or we "let ourselves go" it's like men are the only group of men whose behavior are always justified and ignored and are never held to any sort of accountability while we as women are constantly blamed for everything especially when we are being the woman that they claim to want.

Men: "if you want to keep your man then you need to cook, clean and maintain your looks EVERYDAY, be faithful and be EXTRA good in bed and submissive"

Women: *does exactly what is being asked of men*

Men: *still sleeping with ex's, co-workers and friends with benefits and still get told that men aren't obligated to monogamy and to accept it *

If we're looking for love, then we're lonely. If we're looking for sex only with no strings attached, then we're sluts. And if we want marriage, kids and monogamy, then we're desperate.

If we give it up too soon then we're "easy" and get ghosted. But if we make him wait for it, then we're dick teasing and playing games.

But I never hear these talking points the other way around regarding men whenever men or poorly mistreated by women then it's always excused. What is it with the double standards?

[caring__1]

If you don't like what you see in a particular person, don't continue to see that person, but never project blame for the actions of an individual on an entire population. Laying blame never moves us forward or resolves anything. It just fuels our internal fire of anger and has no impact on those we're blaming.

I agree that most people are too self-centered to be healthy partners, but that doesn't mean all people are unhealthy partners. Learn to read the signs and make sure everything is on the table before investing. Unfortunately, people assume you are rushing a relationship if you seek an understanding of them early on, so most people just see what they want to see or what they fear seeing and skip the exploration and discovery phase.

If fault is to be laid, let's look at our own choices, words, actions, cause/effect and responsibilities, for that is all we have any control over. Laying blame on external factors or others is a waste of time and energy, and it prevents us from learning from the experience, so we don't continue repeating our same dysfunctional patterns. Just because we're drawn to a particular type doesn't mean that type is a healthy match for us. Learn what works rather than focus on what you believe should be. Accept people as they choose to be, not for the potential you believe they could be. That doesn't mean you need to associate with them, but people aren't lumps of clay to be molded by others.

[nitsuj86]

Pretty simple, No... Is it always the women's fault for men's bad experiences with women? I doubt you would agree with that.

Why would it be either's fault? Shit happens. If a guy rapes a girl, is it every man's fault? If a woman cheats on her husband that pays for her life, is it every woman's fault?

I think both sides need to stop blaming the other side for the shitty actions of a few people. I think it's a lot harder to look at ourselves and see the things that WE are doing wrong. We like to think we are the good guy in every story being told in our lives, but that's not the case.

I also find that men are often punished much more harshly for their actions. You say that woman are called all these things, but are they getting their children taken away? Are they having to pay their exes 100's-1,000s of dollars? Give up half their stuff? Be put in jail when they abuse. I've been hit by plenty of women, nothing has ever happened to them.

The point is, I think you are only looking at things from YOUR side of things. Which is why you are so angry. But you really need to open your eyes, and realize we are all in this together. Men and women. You hating men, is not going to make your life easier. In fact, it makes it harder.

[sirderpsalot123]

Men usually say this when women start bashing men as whole. 3.97 billion men in the world and every single relationship you've been in, has ended horribly? At some point, you have to take some personal responsibility. This doesn't mean those guys weren't shit, but you still picked them, and continue to do so. THEN you isolate yourself (not YOU, just in general) instead of taking personal responsibility, by claiming that "ALL men are trash" resulting in the good ones wanting nothing to do with you.

I tell the whiney men on here the same thing.

[MrYoung]

Sometimes if every person we’ve dated ends up being a cheater, liar, etc. You have to look at yourself as well. Where and how are you meeting them, did it start off one sided?
I feel what you’re saying but you also have a Choi to apply the stereotypes to yourself. If you fall for the same type of characteristics, it speaks for itself. All I see is segregation within segregation and it sucks. As a black Man I’d rather fight as a whole (man and woman) together. But the system has everyone twisted. I respect how you feel tho. 💪🏾💯

[Zweihander9005]

I think you’re just listening to the wrong people. The same standards can be said about men; I’ve been called a simp, a player, a creep, and husband material. I spent so much time trying to figure out what women want that I forgot what was really important: what I want. So stop giving a shit what anyone thinks about you. You wanna be a sub, be a sub, you wanna break hearts then break some fucking hearts.

[JayParris]

It is. But one of the worst human behaviors is blaming the victim in situations like this. I run into it all the time when talking about shitty behavior in women. Apparently, it's my fault for picking the bad ones even though they seemed like good ones. But that's just one of the ways people avoid answering for their bullshit. Just put the blame on the other

[TheFlak38]

First off, it is men who get blamed for everything. Literally everything. So cut the victim theatre. We know you do this to gain a position of power.
Second, the sexual marketplace is rigged in your favour. If your instincts are so fucking stupid that you try to settle down with the worst men just because they make the area between your legs wet then yes it is entirely your fault. Think about the thousands of good guys you're friend-zoning every day.

[Hanrej]

Well, your premise is lacking. Usually when men say such thing it is in response to a woman claiming ALL men are a certain way based on her experiance. I think no one or very few are trying to take away her experiance or deny it. It's her conclusion they deny.

[Slim57]

Yeah it's like that for girls and guys, and both genders say the same thing but as a guy I don't know it's pretty easy (for me anyway) to pick out a douchebag or fuckboy and yet that's the ones girls seem to flock to, but sure you can't really judge a book by the cover some act nice at first and then they come out with all the bad stuff

[FilmGuy93]

Maybe it's different when women talk about this stuff with other women; but speaking from the perspective of a man, we get blamed for everything wrong in women's lives.

[Caunsos]

If a man does you harm that on him. However that is not on every man ever. And is some keep finding them selfs in harmful situations not learn how spot and avoid those situations it you have to take responsibility for that.

[loveslongnails]

I very often agree with your takes - not so much on this one. I really don't think "women get blamed for 'everything' ..." Everything? I don't believe that.

[Subarugirl]

What do women not get blamed for?

[Andres77]

Yes. It is the fault of the guy because he's lacks character. Fine. Every single guy. Fine.
Now... STOP DATING PIECE OF SHYT BOYS THAT SHOULD BE MEN BUT AREN'T!

now you understand?

[AviatorTom]

Simple rule s of biology... Women are Never Wrong, and Men are Never At Fault

[KennethNoisewater]

That's an easy question.

Because we are not a woman.

[msc545]

Another poor victim complaining about her bad choices. Pick better.

[Creampiekarl420]

These are the same people who say “my body my choice “ how about “ my body my choice my Fault!

[anylolone]

Because, I know it's weird, but you have responsibility for your own choices.
What a surprise?

[Subarugirl]

Because that would mean taking responsibility

[LimitedBenefits101]

"I'm not like other girls"