Individuals who have had several gfs/bfs in the past are often considered to be unfaithful/cheaters. Do you agree with this? Why / why not?

[Anonymous]

[Lliam]

I totally disagree. Normal people have boyfriends/girlfriends starting when they are young. People who don't are not the norm. And the ones who don't tend to have religious or cultural hang ups.

Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is how people learn to grow up and be adults. They gain maturity through trial and error. Such relationships are beneficial, not detrimental.
Things often don't end well for people who naively settle for their first boyfriend/girlfriend because their choice was based on fantasy, not wisdom.

Guys who get their opinions about women from the on-line manosphere tend to parrot the idea that the more partners a woman has the less likely she is able to bond with a man. And they will quote the same study, one that was performed by the right-wing organization Institute for Family Studies. But that study was designed to achieve a desired outcome and is far from scientific.

In reality, very few people marry their first boyfriend/girlfriend.

I had steady, infatuated, monogamous relationships with girlfriends from the time I was 16. None of them were virgins but they were all good girls with healthy values and normal hopes and dreams.
I was the one who eventually moved on. It wasn't their fault. I just didn't want to settle down. But they went on to get married eventually, have children, and live happy lives.

I had some one-time sexual encounters when I was single and horny, too. I assume many women did, as well. Sex isn't harmful unless is results in an unwanted pregnancy or an STD. Although some relationships can be harmful if they result in low self-esteem. For example, some people get fucked and dumped by disrespectful ass holes who put them down and/or make them feel like trash.

By the time I was ready to settle down and met my future wife, we had both lived full and fulfilling lives. Both of us had had sex and been in relationships before.

We've been happily married now for over 28 years and are 100% dedicated to each other. We take marriage seriously. She has proven her loyalty many times.

[Asker]

Wow! Perfect and. That's what I was looking for lol

[Asker]

*Perfect answer

[Lliam]

Cool. :D It's an issue that I have a strong opinion about.

[fartingspinster]

I dont know about norm and not the norm - it depends on your culture and vetting process.
Also, it goes back to extroverts vs introverts. Extroverts favour creating an understanding of their world through trial and error and have to do it themselves to get the learning experience. Introverts favour creating their understanding of the world through vicarious learning since they are often more timid when younger (think of the cultures that have elders in circles teaching the young kids about life type of model).

I think both are normal, it just depends on what model fits you personally and what makes most sense to you. I do agree though, being in a relationship is the only way you understand yourself and what you truly want. Not everyone is lucky to meet their spouse when young and stay with them. But that doesn't mean its unhealthy and in poor judgment either. I think there's many ways for it to happen, we are a diverse race after all

[D_Bone_Steak]

Not at all. Don't agree. If you're looking for a pattern of behavior that shows unfaithful/cheaters... it's a pattern of doing unfaithful things and cheating.

Also, I don't consider I don't consider you getting cheated on if you fuck a guy just because he said nice things and winked, and then ghosted you. You may of expected commitment, but you didn't ask for it, vet for it, or demand it. Not you in particular, just speaking to the chicks that wonder why all the men in their life just ghost. You know, the ones that only go for guys that are out of their league and then wonder why they just leave... them.

I know modern women hate the term "submit to your man," but if he submits to your demands then why aren't you doing that? You give a man a bunk deal he's going to cheat eventually but if you're worth it, that man would shoot another girl in the face before he cheats...

Or, like me, beg my women to let me fuck her. Thank God my wife is bi.

[DishLady]

No “cheaters” but players. They mess with a person and move on v quickly. It’s pathological, usually at least partially narcissistic bc they just feel they can snap their fingers and have whoever they want whenever they want.

[BarryLiverstone]

Good answer. I’ve had the “player” label on me before. Like you said has nothing to do with cheater. But still a negative judgement

[2Diamonds]

Why is it issue? Never compete with past relationships, they didn’t work out for a reason, never compete with failure, value what you offer..

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to help you understand the mysteries of love! Having had multiple partners doesn't automatically make someone unfaithful. People date around to find what fits them best—like trying on different sunglasses until you find the right pair 😎. It's more about the lessons learned and how they apply those to future relationships. Past relationships are not red flags unless there's a pattern of harmful behavior like ghosting or lovebombing. Cheers to love and exploration! ❤️

[SteveSmith1985]

No. This is not true at all.

You need to look at the guys track record in how he treated his exs.

If a guy had relationships, but wasn't unfaithful in any of them, then you can be confident he's likely to be faithful to you too. It's not a bad thing at all if a guy has past relationships. It's actually good.

Do you have any idea how many thing a guys first girlfriend has to fix? (from knowing how not to be an asshole in some situations, to making sure a guy knows to pay you a compliment every now and then... and that you do expect to hear from him most days)

It's only bad if the guy has been unfaithful to his exs. If he's cheated in the past, he's more likely to cheat on you. (unless he seems to show A LOT of remorse, and seems to actually fully appreciate just how bad cheating in the past was. I have never seen this happen. But just in case)

🙂

[Finchie40]

I totally disagree , not every relationship ends because of something bad happening like cheating or betrayal , some relationships end because both people realize they no longer want the same things anymore , and decide to go their separate ways , and just remain friends’ , they still love and care about each other , they just know that aren’t good for each other anymore. i don’t hate all my ex girlfriends and all my exes don’t hate me lol so people do break up with mutual respect as well, it’s not always bad.

[Summeroflove]

People having unsuccessful relationships is pretty normal it can happen to anyone. But the issue is people that are sleeping around that’s the people to look out for.

Number one many cheat because they’re addicted to sex and when the time comes they’re bored in bed they will seek opportunities behind your back and by the time you catch them they’ve done it a million times.

The main thing is people that sleep with the opposite of their type. When you notice that the people someone’s romantically and sexually attracted to are polar opposites that’s a pretty big red flag and you’re very likely to be cheated on.

[AviatorTom]

I do not agree. Dating several people is how we learn about ourselves and others, until finally meeting the one to settle down with. Prior dating relationships are no indicator of possible cheating in a long-term relationship.

[EzraIsShy76028]

Not necessarily. If the number of past partners they have is in the triple digits then that could signify something being wrong, but in general nothing wrong with having had several partners in the past.

I guess it also depends on how long they've started dating in the first place, as well as how often they change partners. If they've started dating for 12 months and in those 12 months they've somehow managed to have like 24 different partners then something is probably wrong. Or if they're with a new partner every single week or two because they keep breaking up and getting with new people.

But everything I described above is more or less extreme circumstances. Most average people most likely won't get to that point unless they're either extremely mentally unstable and/or mentally ill or something. Lol.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Some say there are plenty of fish in the sea & when it comes to the dating pool it’s a cesspool especially nowadays & it’s like the circus is in town. As for individuals who had several gfs/bfs in the past I think it’s wonderful that those individuals are adventuring out there in relationship land & testing the waters until they find who they are looking for. In life you should never settle for anything less then the best.

Individuals who have had several gfs/bfs in the past are often considered to be unfaithful/cheaters. Do you agree with this? Why / why not?
I Do NOT AGREE.

[PeachyPie93]

It makes me question their ability to remain loyal through the whole relationship because its like you had so much variety how can you give that up for one person especially when you think nothing of letting someone you just met or barely know fuck you. Plus a person who never had a relationship longer than a year or two it's like are you even capable of having a serious relationship? I don't think they are for sure cheaters but I doubt them.

[Blacke]

Nope. There is no cheating there when the guy is still searching. The past is the past. What matters is the current. Whatever happened to the past girlfriend, is gone. Unless it makes a comeback while engaged to another. But hey, there has to be a stronger reason why the cheating happens.

[red324]

I think it just means they get bored easy or don't put any effort in. I dated a girl like that, then found out from her cousin that she just goes from one guy to the next. Didn't really ever figure out how long each guy lasts, but my guess is probably less than 3 or 4 months

[MannMitAntworten]

I have never heard this. Not of either sex. Having had several significant others would never be an indication that they are a cheater to me. Learning they have cheated in the past would be that indication for me.

[Anonymous]

Yes. The more partners a woman has the less likely she is able to bond with a man. The more partners a woman has the longer a man should take to vet her. The more partners a woman has they higher the liklihood that she doesn't understand what a healthy relationship us.

[serious]

Well, it cannot be said for sure that they are cheaters but yes this is not normal either and it does raise lot of questions regarding their loyalty.

[RedThread]

I'm 37. Of course, I've had several girlfriends in the past at my age. I've never cheated either. My integrity matters too much to me.

[David_beckham]

I disagree with this. In relationship and breakups, there are multiple things to be considered, and judging them just by looking at the numbers of relationships and without knowing what happened in the past is just unfair.

[dudeinohio]

Just because you have had several past relationships doesn't mean you are a cheater.

[Vegasrunner]

Yea if a woman has had a lot of boyfriend's then she probably has cheated. If men have had a lot of women then proves that he doesn't cheat

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

having multiple previous partners doesn't make one a cheater. It just means theyre worthy of reproducing for humanity.

[PaleDale]

Having past partners doesn't automatically make you naturally unfaithful.

[Cyrus000]

The stats tend to support this idea in general, so it could be true

[Despina6]

Disagree to find the one sometimes got go through wrong ones before you find the onez.

[Nikki1989]

1000% BS.

[elizamichale1]

No I dont coz one can change anytime

[In_Trance]

Correlation does not mean causation

[Asker]

Not always.
They can be players too

[Chargirllll]

I agree

[Chargirllll]

More likely they'll cheat

[fish5505_87]

Nope.