So guy met at a friend's party starting to date - just coffee so far - has said twice randomly he isn't the sort to cheat in a relationship. Now this is entirely unprovoked, we weren't talking anything remotely along the lines of cheating or even sexual and yet he spouts this off. To me it's a major red flag because why say this unless he's done it before or been accused of it
possibly he has had one or more EXes cheat on him and he is stating it hoping to hear the same from you, but alas you are too judgmental to think any opposing perspectives so assume the worst of him as 1st thought.
you know the old saying about a con artist or thief suspecting everyone else of being a con artist or thief because they are one and think others think like they do. you give a hint of possibly doing a cheaters version of that. then again, you may be suspicious of people because you hace been cheated on in the past. but as another said, end that potential relationship because its not a good match as you are going into it untrusting before there is anything else that could turn it bad.
as for your comment about "of course guys vote maybe...", your sexism is showing and it too taints any potential relationships. fix yourself before you try dating anyone else because not doing so harms you, the potential partner, and the dating scene in general as once you hurt another, you add negative connotations to that persons future dating. if that person does not fix themselves after that, then they too spread the negativity, further damaging dating for all.
have you tried asking him why? i doubt it. to all the others saying its an automatic red flag, shame on you as that shows your previous damages are not fixed either because that is also all of you assuming without enough information. you do not actually know the context of how he says/said it, the conversation leading up to it being said, his past, or even what setting was surrounding each time.
some other possibilities as to why he said it cpuld be he seen someone doing something akin to cheating while he and the asker were talking which prompted it, somerhing she said reminded him of something said by a cheater in his past (be it someone who cheated on him or someone cheated on someone close to him) , or maybe he percieved she was looking or flirting with someone else (wether she was or not does not matter as it was his, possibly mistsken, perception) .
Many times down here the questions and answers that I answer
Is telling girls and guys how to listen to what somebody's actually telling you when they talk to you
Because in the middle of their sentence when they're telling you something
They will tell you a lie or the truth in the same breath in the same sentence sometimes it's not what they say it's how they say it and what they don't say that you have to listen for yes that is a big red flag to me
Most people would look at it maybe a 50/50 chance
No I don't know for sure but the way you described it I would say yes he has cheated before
Or he was in the position to where he could have cheated and might have fudge a little bit LOL but that's what I've been talking about is that type of comment right there
Now like I said I wasn't there so I didn't hear how it was all being played out but the odds are he probably did
And now I have to just because I think so doesn't mean that it's true.
s I don't think you can automatically assume that someone is a cheater but that sure doesn't look good. I don't know why anyone would randomly blurt that out for no reason. There must have been something that triggered that in his head. The very last sentence you need to read. You said that either he's done it before or been accused of it. That last part is important. He may very well been accused of it. So what? That doesn't mean he is guilty of it. Just because someone suspected he was a cheater doesn't mean he is one. Accusations are dangerous and even more dangerous when you take them as truths. It doesn't sound like this is a good fit since you consider this a massive red flag. Go with you gut.
That would be a red flag for me. There is no reason to say that generally unless you were both having a conversation around it. It’s like the person who says they don’t like drama or they don’t cause drama and aren’t that type of person. Of course most people don’t like it or want a ton of it in their regular life but typically the only people who go out of their way to say stuff like that are drama lol.
Opinion
7Opinion
Possibly , but Not necessarily, especially if he was the one that was cheated on by a girl already , He might just be letting you know what he is seeking out of a relationship , Most people just assume someone is a cheater when really they aren’t , and vice versa , most people don’t want to get involved with someone because of this reason , Cheating sadly is something that occurs more often than we would like to imagine , and Most people have a hard time being honest with each other when it comes to meeting someone new that they are interested in, because they say what they think the other person wants to hear, instead of telling them the truth. Most people sugarcoat themselves to make themselves appear better than what they really are , hoping to get that other person’s attention and interest. Girls’ do this as well, it’s usually an insecurity that lies deep inside themselves that makes it hard for them to trust others. Most people just assume the worst case scenario when they meet someone they feel is to good to be true. So whether he is being honest with you or not , that’s something he has to live with if he is chooses to to lie to you or chooses to be honest with you , Sadly to say , most people today are cheaters and liars and only do what is best For themselves , they usually don’t point fingers at themselves , before pointing fingers at someone else first , so to really know for sure if someone is being honest with you or not , takes time , usually actions speak louder than words when it comes to shit like this , When a girl is showing interest in me and tells me she isn’t a cheater and that she values relationships , I just say that’s great to know , thank you for sharing that with me , My immediate intentions is to trust her and hope she isn’t just blowing smoke up my ass , If she is a girl I have interest in as well , if she is lilting to me , then she will suffer the consequences of not getting my trust back in return , if her actions speak louder than words. I have hooked up with girls that told me they wanted to find someone to fall in love with , to have a relationship with , with trust and loyalty to find out they were just talking out their asses to get me in bed , so basically thank you for a good time but not a long time. It’s always a 50/50 chance when we meet someone new , You can either choose to trust them or not. But me personally is attracted to honesty , when a girl is honest with me I have no reason not to be honest with her , so what she chooses to do is up to her , We can’t force someone to love us and we can’t force someone to be honest with us , we can only give what we want to receive in return
u 1. People do not make statements "randomly." There is a reason or motivation for the statements.
2. Perhaps he has been unjustly accused in the past. I have NEVER cheated on a partner, not once in 50+ years of dating, relationships, and marriage. But I have been unjustly accused of cheating and I know how that feels. In my case, it eroded my confidence and made me feel less valuable, even though I knew the accusations were untrue.
3. Set a good precedent for the relationship: talk to him, express your concern, and ask him why he feels it is necessary to make these statements. But don't rush to judgment before you understand much about him or his background.
The only reason I’d say no is that maybe he’s been cheated on and is trying to lay down an expectation early and up front. I’ll admit it’s a little unusual in the context you provide but I don’t see it as an immediate red flag. I had a few women say similar things early in dating long before I was married.
I know you say it was random. But you're a woman so you're not going to read it the same way. I'd have to hear what the ACTUAL context was to answer this or not. I would've never said this. But then again "I'm not a cheater". And I'm only saying this because "I would never cheat".😆
I never assume from someone's nice words that he or she is honest. I look for evidence via actions.
It is sus that a person would randomly say that
Well, everyone is the worst thing in the world until they prove otherwise. It would make me suspicious.
s No I don't think making this statement makes a person more likely to cheat lol
yes if your not a cheater then u wouldn't feel the need to defend yourself
Nope don't agree.
Maybe.
Superb Opinion