Do you believe that a cheater is always a cheater?

[Anonymous]

Well we all get heart broken at one point in a relationship so do we give those partners that have hurt us a second chance. They may have hurt us by full blown texting another girl or kissing another or even having sex...

[Qdbrown]

Cheaters are damaged goods. End of story. If it's a guy, he has the taste of recreational sex. If he knows he can find cheap and easy, and gets addicted to it, if hard to let go. Some guys cheat to upgrade, which again is a self-esteem issues, wanting to prove to others that they are worthy of more.

Of course men use to be the big cheaters. Women these days are way more likey to cheat keeping their eye open for the bigger and better deal. It's biologicial that women unknownlingly are nest builders. They want the most for their offspring, and combine that with modern instant gratification and validation, mixed in with social media and dating apps, and a woman will window shop her way into cheating, and will not consider the practice of upgrading cheating, because her current partner is so bad, she has no choice but to leave him for greener pastures. It's cheating, and seeing that more 70% of women initiate the divorce is telling.

So people are. willing and able to. cheat, and leave a fury of emotional and even financial destruction in their wake to get some booty and find a new lover.

[virtue2332]

Not necessarily. There are situations that people find themselves in that they should never be in in the first place. A lot has to happen in order to cheat people aren't falling into eachother by accident. Its also normal to be attracted to other people when you are in a relationship. Some people flirt normally. I do and have to catch myself from time to time. Why I haven't cheated is because I've had my fun when I was younger enough to realize its never going to be worth disappointing and embarrassing your wife and kids like that. Whats someone going to do for me that my wife doesn't do already? Nothing and my wife knows what I like. In order to cheat you have to find yourself alone with whomever you are cheating on for as long as it takes to cheat. So the way I see it people shouldn't put themselves in situations where cheating is even a possibility eliminating the logistics eliminates the possibility of allowing the hormones from making it more difficult to think clearly.

[Asker]

U have really spoken well.
Ok so there was a period I and my boyfriend broke up and I had told a friend that i had a situationship with previously that I was having issues in my relationship. I had told this friend of mine because he was concerned. After a while I and my boyfriend came back together and while were together he started sexually texting another girl. When I found out I asked why he was cheating and he said cause I had told the guy about the issues in my relationship with him so he decided to put no boundaries between him and the girl. Was he right for doing that?

[anniisa97]

Don’t accept that kind of behaviour, he’s manipulating you into thinking you did something equally bad to betray him so that he can walk all over you. It could be that he’s acting out because what you did was very immature.

I don’t know if I would call that emotional cheating to a degree or what. No one should be in contact with someone they had a “situation-ship” with in the past. If you really respected your relationship you would have spoken to your friends about it, not past lovers. I think you knew what you were doing. The way I see it, your both immature and this relationship isn’t going to last. No loving, healthy relationship has partners resenting each other because they both consciously stomped on each others boundaries to spite the other.

[virtue2332]

From my perspective no it wasn't right. He had a choice to make when it came to getting back together with you. It should have been to make it work and whatever happened while you were not together should left in the past to focus on the future otherwise don't get back together. Anything less than a fresh start is petty and not going to end well. Definitely petty if it's well I'm going to roll this way because you did this. We really have to have honor in who we are and not change who we are reacting to someone who isn't willing or capable of holding themselves to the same standards. People say that they hold back because they don't want to get hurt that's not the way it should be. You should love with everything you have and if it doesn't work out, or they are unfaithful it's not a ding on you should have pride in knowing that you gave it your all and didn't bend to temptations. You decide what you want if you stay and work it out or go. You have to hold yourself to a higher level and then you will get higher level opportunities. If you find yourself dealing with relationships that are not working or too much drama you have to level up to the point where those kind of guys don't even approach you because they feel like you are out of their league.

[Asker]

Thing is I respect my relationship. I already cut ties with the guy I had a situationship with but on the day I had broken up with my boyfriend he chatted me up that same day. We got talking and I didn't really want to say what was up but I ended up summarising it to him cause I actually didn't have anyone to talk to. My relationship at that point was in a way that I couldn't talk to anyone I wasn't exactly allowed to. I had told him cause I wanted to assure myself I shouldn't be scared to tell people that i wasn't fine in my relationship. I couldn't talk to friends and it wasn't easy. Either I agree that I was wrong I truly do not like in guy I was in a situationship with anymore. Which I made very obvious. I respect my relationship a lot but it was a bit toxic

[virtue2332]

Im sure you respected your relationship and Im not here to say who is right or wrong. We all have different paths that lead to a happy relationship as well as what we consider a good relationship. It would make sense to find the people that have what you want or desire and allow them to point you in the right direction. If they are a close friend but never been in a relationship or an aunt that is going through her 3 divorce probably should take thier advice with a grain of salt. You should always respect yourself first and foremost and steer clear of toxic people and relationships or you will be with them. Focus and be grateful for the things you do have if and build upon those things. Life is short why not enjoy the time we have with people we care about instead of worrying about how long we have with them or waste time in disagreements. You deserve and have the right to enjoy as much as you can so try not to live in the past you can't change it. Become more efficient with the amt of time your brain spends in the past and the future so you can have more time in the present.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot I sincerely appreciate ur input. It's really helped me

[jorfan3]

No, because I don't think all cheaters are just terrible people. My husband cheated on his wife one time. After she'd cheated on him for several years.

Does that make him a bad person?

Sometimes people cheat and it's not out of maliciousness. Shit just happens. And I believe people can be forgiven, grow, and decide not to be the same person.

That's what I strive for: to grow and be a better person than I was yesterday. I cheated on a partner that neglected me because he was addicted to video games. I don't plan on cheating on my current partner, and make proactive steps towards it.

[Anemone978]

I don't know sometimes I think I could forgive someone for cheating and other times I'm like "Nah you hurt me like that fuck off." When I think about relationships my ex husband I could forgive him if he cheated because he handled so much of my BS and took care of me well. But this other guy I was so in love with I couldn't forgive him because he hurt me over and over again all through whatever we had.
But back to what the actual question is... It is possible for a cheater to change but because you stayed with them they will most likely cheat again because no real consequences.

[Asker]

Wow. Thanks a lot. I got hurt in that way I broke up with him for 2 weeks and we came back. I hope he doesn't hurt me again

[Anemone978]

I'm sorry to hear that, but I really hope you guys will be okay this time.

[Summeroflove]

Many are yes. Not everyone. Nobody is perfect and we all make bad choices in life. I’m not making excuses. It’s the way it is.

If someone turns to Jesus and is delivered from it. No they’re not cheaters anymore.

Otherwise….. yeah they probably are

[God_of_Thunder]

I don't know if cheaters will always be cheaters, or not. I don't give them a chance to cheat again.

I'm a "one and done," guy. If someone cheats on me, then not only are we finished, forever, but I wouldn't save them from falling into an active volcano, either.

They betrayed me, physically and emotionally, so as far as I'm concerned, they are the most worthless form of life on Earth, unworthy of compassion, redemption, or consideration.

Nothing will ever undo, or repair, that level of betrayal. Nothing.

[Asker]

Wow. This is real pain

[God_of_Thunder]

Yep; still getting over being cheated on, in fact.

[Asker]

I'm so sorry it's the worst feeling. What did she do. In my case he was sexually flirting with her.

[Asker]

I have forgiven him I can't just hold it. I still love him. I can't help it

[God_of_Thunder]

She got drunk, and fucked another guy.

She forgot that I was on the phone, at the time (again, drunk), so I heard everything. It's a memory I will never, ever be able to get out of my brain.

I have reason to believe that it wasn't the first time, either.

[Asker]

So sorry

[anniisa97]

I believe in rare cases, they may do it just once and never again.

But for the majority that’s just who they are, they aren’t reliable or trustworthy partners. I don’t believe you should ever take back a cheater, even if it was just a one time screw up. They decided that relationship meant f-all to them when they decided to screw someone else. If they are better than that, they’ll have to learn from the experience and be a better partner in the next relationship

[Anonymous]

I have yesssssss when my previous relationship was seriously on shakey ground. A previous fuck buddy back then who suddenly became single... reached out to me where I mentioned to her at the time that I was in a relationship that wasn't in a good place.

For a period of 3-4 months we were chatting quietly to one another and as soon as my relationship finally ended I was having sex with my fuck buddy again a week later.

I don't feel guilty for my actions because I was in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship for 2 years with a woman who had unresolved mental health and drinking problems so it was a huge relief to be having sex straight away without any strings attached nor drama.

Does this make me a bad person... not at all!

[BCA6010]

Cheating is always an act of either brazen disrespect, or giving into temptation (and often both). There is no context in which it isn't indicative of horrendous character flaws.

I would not ever (knowingly) date a cheater.

[Twalli]

Yes, they've always been someone who has the mental ability to cheat. A good number of people never cheat, because they are mentally unable to betray the trust of someone. So that person may not cheat again, but they can because they illustrated that mentally they can accept themselves doing it.

[SassyAussieAddy]

Anyone can change their ways and learn from mistakes. If they don't it means they are unwilling to.

[mrinalashesh007]

No... not at all. Sometimes all that a person needs is a vent from a throat slitting relationship.

Everyone deserves a second chance in his / her life to be treated with respect and dignity.

[CubsterShura]

I personally believe that's what happens almost all the time. Exceptional stories exist but I don't believe they are the norm.

[Andres77]

Some people can change. Some people can't... or won't.

I've seen both. Depends on why and depends on how they react when confronted with it.

I'm a big believer in hope but with genuine remorse and accountability.

[dustybiker]

I think a select few could come to their senses and eventually stop. But they would not have had a second chance with me.

[TheSimFans]

Is happen more than once don't even give thrid chance. I'm strict with datibm dating qn and relationship. Cheating is a choice not a mistake.

[Asker]

Thanks

[sheikalana]

No, people change and learn from their mistakes.

[LiamJHayden]

I don't know, but I do know if I were to find out a girl cheated on me I would not even consider giving her another chance.

[Asker]

Why. But then is it ok for a guy to do it to a girl

[Rockstarrrrr]

Doesn't matter... One strike and you're out, so...

[Sasha0426]

Never trust anything what a cheater says. They lied to you throughout the whole relationship, why believe anything they say after they got caught?

[brezzybaby]

No because I used to be a big time cheater and i ain't that person no more.

[oneoflxx]

I do only because humans are creatures of habit… sooooo if they cheated once more than likely they will cheat again and again and again

[Asker]

Hmmm

[Bklynbadboy12]

For the most part yes but a select few can change if they really want to

[driven159]

Yes, the first time a person cheats the easier it is the next time

[DerkR]

No, I think people mature and can become better

[Vivaldi]

I can't even have one girlfriend, how can I cheat?

[Anonymous]

No, its not that black and white. Some people learn from it and never cheat again.

[Anonymous]

Any guy would cheat in principle if the bitch is much hotter than the girlfriend.

[KathrynTaylor]

No. Not always.

[serious]

Of course that is 100% true.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. People can change from their bad ways.