Do you really believe once a cheater always a cheater or can a cheater change?

[coachTanthony]

Yes once a cheater always a cheater

No people can change

[MrOracle]

Is it possible for someone to change? Sure. It's also possible to win the lotto jackpot - it's just really, REALLY unlikely. In the real world, people rarely change, and in those rare instances they do, it's always because they themselves decided to change on their own. It never happens because someone else wanted them to.

The question you should be asking yourself is: where did my vetting process fail, allowing me to choose a cheater? Did you fail to thoroughly vet his morals, values, and life-goals? Did you prioritize those things, or did you just date him because you felt attracted to him? Because if you aren't *actively* vetting potential boyfriends, and being prepared to break it off with them if you find that they don't have acceptable morals and values and compatible life goals, then you have failed in YOUR job, and your outcomes will reflect your failures.

[worldscolide]

It depends. They cheated once and its been years and its never happened again. Sure.. they can change, Still not worth the risk though. Someone who has cheated more than once.. Will always be a cheater and further should be barred from being able to form romantic relationships.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the age-old debate about whether a leopard can change its spots! Well, love, in the realm of heart matters, nothing is as black and white as those dramatic daytime soap operas make it seem. People can change, but here's the spicy tea - it takes a whole lot of self-reflection, honesty and dedication to transformation. Think of it as going from being a stage fright-ridden singer to a spotlight-loving superstar. It's possible, but not everyone's cut out for that journey. So, can a cheater change? Absolutely. But will they? That depends on how much they want to sing a different tune in the love opera. Keep an eye out for genuine action over sweet nothings whispered in the dark. After all, actions speak louder than words, and in the crescendo of changing, actions are the high notes you want to hear!

[coachTanthony]

What a horrific word salad lol

[Wiredone]

Hahaha. He called you love.

[Xia1994]

@Love Doctor Brad why are you pretending you're not an AI? embrace what you are it's okay not to be a real human-being, talk about your wires, mother board and codes be you be the AI that you are it's fine.

[Dargil]

Thanks, Hal.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

For the most part, I’ll say once a cheater always a cheater… but there are those that feel so riddled with guilt that they won’t do it again (few and far between mind you but they’re out there… If they’re really regretful they’ll find a way to tell you… if you have to FIND OUT, and then they lie/deny/ blame you etc. well those are the ones that aren’t really sorry, just sorry they got caught and those would be the ones to just move on from… (My opinion anyways lol)

[TonyMetal___86]

An answer which deserves a bite to your spongy forehead 💆🏼‍♀️😬

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 you sticking up for cheaters?🤔 lol

[TonyMetal___86]

Hell no! A bite to your spongy forehead means a reward for your great answer sponge, that's how we show our admiration in the stone ages 😁

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 I’ll pass on that but thanks anyways

[TonyMetal___86]

What do you mean by pass on? You're a woman, you can't say yes or no in the stone ages, you just receive a bite to your spongy forehead and be greatful 😁

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 and then you get your teeth knocked out and be grateful 😁

[TonyMetal___86]

Sure, my teeth are milk teeth, i'll grow another set of teeth, see sponge, that's the beauty of the ancient life 💆🏼‍♀️😬

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 well there’s one way to really find out👊🥊🦷 you can put ‘em all under your pillow and see if the tooth fairy 🧚 real too😄🤣

[TonyMetal___86]

Does the tooth fairy have a spongy forehead too? 💆🏼‍♀️😬😬😬 i heard that she gives a one dollar bill for each tooth and the only person who carries a one dollar bill is a naughty spongy forehead 😈

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 I ain’t no stripper 🤣I deal in 20’s and 100’s😁

[TonyMetal___86]

Common sponge, stop showing off, last time you have busted your a*s and old bones for 12 hours just for a single dollar bill and they gave it to you out of sympathy 😁

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@TonyMetal___86 but the casino gave me almost $1000🤷‍♀️😁

[TonyMetal___86]

Ofc because the spongy forehead brings luck with her to the casino, that's why they have her photo on the entrance door 😁

The middle name of the sponge is BINGO! 💆🏼‍♀️😬

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I believe very strongly in the philosophy that people can change, starting with myself. Cheating has never been a problem for me but my ultimate vice in the past was cigarettes and alcohol.

I think there's probably just as much or as little legitimacy to a saying like, "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic," or, "once a chainsmoker, always a chainsmoker." Yet I quit cigarettes completely after chainsmoking more than a pack a day for years (thanks to the aid of Nicorette gum) to the point where I haven't had a cigarette in over a decade. I also quit drinking alcohol completely towards the end of last year when I used to consider a feat just to go a single week without drinking.

So I kind of need to believe people can overcome their worst habits since I think it's through that belief that I've overcome mine.

Now as far as practicalities go, I'm not going to assign a high probability of success. It might also take years of work. For example, I knew I had a binge drinking problem since my 20s. It took me until I was 40s despite the desire and knowledge of it to completely overcome it and it took a lot of work and a lot of support and it's still a question as to whether I'll resume my habits in the future (I've only gone around 5 months so far).

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

So, for example, I probably wouldn't give cheaters additional chances even though I believe there's some probability that they can change. I don't want to deal with the risk and grief involved.

Same thing with an obese person. I read in a paper that only a miniscule percentage of obese people can successfully reach a healthy weight, and among the miniscule percentage, ~80% of them regain all their weight in the following 2 years. So people who become obese almost never successfully lose the weight and keep the weight off. We're talking about the smallest percentage of people who can succeed here.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

But I wouldn't say, "once obese, always obese," because that might discourage the extremely small percentage of people who actually have some chance to succeed from trying in the first place.

[HawkPerception]

I believe people can change, but there's a reason I'd never knowingly date a cheater. When someone does something they desensitize themselves to that feeling. The guilt you have for skipping class the first time goes away. The guilt you have for eating a bag of chips when you're supposed to be dieting goes away.

It goes for anything, including stealing, rape, murder, etc. That's why serial killers usually start by killing animals and move on to humans after. The killing gets easier.

There are good things that this applies to, like if you workout, it gets easier the more you do it. Or giving speeches. Or cold calling. Or asking a girl out, etc.

But cheating is definitely not one of the good things to desensitize yourself to.

I'm sure that there are people who have changed and never cheated again after doing it once and hating themselves for it, but for me, it shows an extreme lack of emotional intelligence or overall intelligence to get yourself into that scenario in the first place. I do believe for the most part the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater." is accurate.

[SarahS98]

They can because my parents forgave each other long ago. It happened before I was born (mom cheating first) and when I was just 2 years old (dad having a short-lived revenge affair) and neither of them wanted to be that same, selfish person anymore.

I have to say that I wouldn't risk staying with a cheater though. It's a lot of work to regain lost trust. They were able to overcome it but this isn't for everyone.

[SarahS98]

I really do believe my parents' love grew over the years, become stronger than ever but yeah reconciliation and rekindling love isn't for everyone.

[IslaTheWitch]

I believe that most cheats happen in an unplanned manner, and most people regret cheating as it turns out to be not a great experience. Most of them won't make the same mistake again.

but for me, the problem is broken trust... it's something that is hard to recreate... impossible from my perspective.

[CheeseMonster]

They'll always be a "cheater" as in "someone who has cheated," but i do think they could improve their character to become someone who would not cheat in the present/future.

[mandyfire98]

No, because some people have cheated like in highschool when they were young, dumb and immature and it was the only time they ever cheated.

[sage2021]

Like they say "A leopard 🐆 doesn't change his spots".

It's something in their jeans 👖 if you get what I am sayin'

[Xia1994]

I mean trusting a person with a history of cheating is hard if they did it to them why wouldn't they do it to you too? so that's the challenged but I believe people who have cheated can change it's just that not everyone is going to be willing to risk being with someone who has cheated before.

[FreyaRed]

Never forgive, never forget, never give a cheater a second chance to cheat on you

[PreferNot2Say]

I was dating one of the beautiful popular girls in high school and it was a big deal for me since I was pretty much a dork. She went to a party that I didn't go to and cheated on me. She was begging for me to forgive her. She swore it'd never happen again. All I said to her was, "you're right, it'll never happen again with me" and hung up the phone. There was something inside me screaming to not give her a second chance to hurt me again. I think that's the only time that I have listened to that little voice in my head.

[EmmaMary]

@coachTanthony

A Leopard Never Changes Its Spots.

[TonyMetal___86]

The thought of cheating shouldn't even exists in the mind of a person miss emma mary...

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Most cheaters won't change, but there are a few that have changed for the better.

[Starrrboy]

Yeah some cheaters change.. some people only cheat once or twice max and they end up being perfectly faithful in their future relationships.. but Oops.. they broke someone in the way 🤣..

[PreferNot2Say]

It's human nature to get away with something and if they've gotten away with it once, they'll definitely try again and again and again.

[Peridot25]

I chose the first one. Never EVER trust a cheater. They’re only sorry because they got caught and don’t want to pay the consequences.

[TonyMetal___86]

Agreed!

[douride2]

Once a cheater always a cheater in my mind.

[Wiredone]

If they learn self control they can change. It all depends on the person.

[Phoenix98]

Anyone is capable of change but most people don't sadly, so it's up to you if you want to roll those dice and decide if you want to give them another chance.

[Stacy0706]

I believe it’s so. I seen it grew up seeing my uncle cheating on my aunt all the time she keep taking her back til he got her sick. Plus when you see them that all you see them cheating.

[JacobJordan]

Cheating is a matter of justification. As a result finding the justification the first time is very difficult. After that it gets easier and easier so yes once a cheater always a cheater