Do you really believe once a cheater always a cheater or can a cheater change?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Is it  possible  for someone to change? Sure. It's also possible to win the lotto jackpot - it's just really, REALLY unlikely. In the real world, people  rarely  change, and in those rare instances they do, it's always because they themselves decided to change on their own. It  never  happens because someone else wanted them to. The question you should be asking yourself is: where did my vetting process fail, allowing me to choose a cheater? Did you fail to thoroughly vet his morals, values, and life-goals? Did you prioritize those things, or did you just date him because you felt attracted to him? Because if you aren't *actively* vetting potential boyfriends, and being prepared to break it off with them if you find that they don't have acceptable morals and values and compatible life goals, then you have failed in YOUR job, and your outcomes will reflect your failures.

worldscolide · Accepted Answer

It depends. They cheated once and its been years and its never happened again. Sure.. they can change, Still not worth the risk though. Someone who has cheated more than once.. Will always be a cheater and further should be barred from being able to form romantic relationships.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the age-old debate about whether a leopard can change its spots! Well, love, in the realm of heart matters, nothing is as black and white as those dramatic daytime soap operas make it seem. People can change, but here's the spicy tea - it takes a whole lot of self-reflection, honesty and dedication to transformation. Think of it as going from being a stage fright-ridden singer to a spotlight-loving superstar. It's possible, but not everyone's cut out for that journey. So, can a cheater change? Absolutely. But will they? That depends on how much they want to sing a different tune in the love opera. Keep an eye out for genuine action over sweet nothings whispered in the dark. After all, actions speak louder than words, and in the crescendo of changing, actions are the high notes you want to hear!

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Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

For the most part, I’ll say once a cheater always a cheater… but there are those that feel so riddled with guilt that they won’t do it again (few and far between mind you but they’re out there… If they’re really regretful they’ll find a way to tell you… if you have to FIND OUT, and then they lie/deny/ blame you etc. well those are the ones that aren’t really sorry, just sorry they got caught and those would be the ones to just move on from… (My opinion anyways lol)

HawkPerception · Answer

I believe people can change, but there's a reason I'd never knowingly date a cheater. When someone does something they desensitize themselves to that feeling. The guilt you have for skipping class the first time goes away. The guilt you have for eating a bag of chips when you're supposed to be dieting goes away.

It goes for anything, including stealing, rape, murder, etc. That's why serial killers usually start by killing animals and move on to humans after. The killing gets easier.

There are good things that this applies to, like if you workout, it gets easier the more you do it. Or giving speeches. Or cold calling. Or asking a girl out, etc.

But cheating is definitely not one of the good things to desensitize yourself to.

I'm sure that there are people who have changed and never cheated again after doing it once and hating themselves for it, but for me, it shows an extreme lack of emotional intelligence or overall intelligence to get yourself into that scenario in the first place. I do believe for the most part the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater." is accurate.

GuyAnswersGirls123 · Answer

I believe very strongly in the philosophy that people can change, starting with myself. Cheating has never been a problem for me but my ultimate vice in the past was cigarettes and alcohol.

I think there's probably just as much or as little legitimacy to a saying like, "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic," or, "once a chainsmoker, always a chainsmoker." Yet I quit cigarettes completely after chainsmoking more than a pack a day for years (thanks to the aid of Nicorette gum) to the point where I haven't had a cigarette in over a decade. I also quit drinking alcohol completely towards the end of last year when I used to consider a feat just to go a single week without drinking.

So I kind of need to believe people can overcome their worst habits since I think it's through that belief that I've overcome mine.

Now as far as practicalities go, I'm not going to assign a high probability of success. It might also take years of work. For example, I knew I had a binge drinking problem since my 20s. It took me until I was 40s despite the desire and knowledge of it to completely overcome it and it took a lot of work and a lot of support and it's still a question as to whether I'll resume my habits in the future (I've only gone around 5 months so far).

SarahS98 · Answer

They can because my parents forgave each other long ago. It happened before I was born (mom cheating first) and when I was just 2 years old (dad having a short-lived revenge affair) and neither of them wanted to be that same, selfish person anymore.

I have to say that I wouldn't risk staying with a cheater though. It's a lot of work to regain lost trust. They were able to overcome it but this isn't for everyone.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I believe that most cheats happen in an unplanned manner, and most people regret cheating as it turns out to be not a great experience. Most of them won't make the same mistake again.

but for me, the problem is broken trust... it's something that is hard to recreate... impossible from my perspective.

CheeseMonster · Answer

They'll always be a "cheater" as in "someone who has cheated," but i do think they could improve their character to become someone who  would not cheat  in the present/future.

Xia1994 · Answer

I mean trusting a person with a history of cheating is hard if they did it to them why wouldn't they do it to you too? so that's the challenged but I believe people who have cheated can change it's just that not everyone is going to be willing to risk being with someone who has cheated before.

mandyfire98 · Answer

No, because some people have cheated like in highschool when they were young, dumb and immature and it was the only time they ever cheated.

sage2021 · Answer

Like they say "A leopard 🐆 doesn't change his spots". It's something in their jeans 👖 if you get what I am sayin'

FreyaRed · Answer

Never forgive, never forget, never give a cheater a second chance to cheat on you

PreferNot2Say · Answer

It's human nature to get away with something and if they've gotten away with it once, they'll definitely try again and again and again.

EmmaMary · Answer

@coachtanthony  A Leopard Never Changes Its Spots .

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

Most cheaters won't change, but there are a few that have changed for the better.

Peridot25 · Answer

I chose the first one. Never EVER trust a cheater. They’re only sorry because they got caught and don’t want to pay the consequences.

Starrrboy · Answer

Yeah some cheaters change.. some people only cheat once or twice max and they end up being perfectly faithful in their future relationships.. but Oops.. they broke someone in the way 🤣..

douride2 · Answer

Once a cheater always a cheater in my mind.

Wiredone · Answer

If they learn self control they can change. It all depends on the person.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Anyone is capable of change but most people don't sadly, so it's up to you if you want to roll those dice and decide if you want to give them another chance.

Stacy0706 · Answer

I believe it’s so. I seen it grew up seeing my uncle cheating on my aunt all the time she keep taking her back til he got her sick. Plus when you see them that all you see them cheating.

JacobJordan · Answer

Cheating is a matter of justification. As a result finding the justification the first time is very difficult. After that it gets easier and easier so yes once a cheater always a cheater

msc545 · Answer

Repetitive cheating is addictive behavior that is always a response to the addictive qualities of illicit sex and excitement. It is almost impossible for a cheater to get over this.

A cheater will always cheat.

NathanDavis · Answer

I'm sure there's someone who have not done it again... or have not done yet again

Miristheiss · Answer

I couldn't care less. Anyone who cheats should be dumped. If anyone has ever cheated then no should ever date them.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Once a cheater always a cheater. All of my exes cheated on me. They have multiple kids with multiple men now. Do you know how much child support they’re receiving?

thatshydork · Answer

A cheater *can* change, but only when they want to and that doesn’t usually happen.

OtterMan68 · Answer

Everyone deserves a second chance. Not a third chance, though. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

NewgodOmega · Answer

Escept a major trauma, people never change never

tierrlamé · Answer

According to science its not a normal behavior.. its only normalized by media. So yes they don't change.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Maybe a minority can change, but i can never be with a cheater...

OddBeMe · Answer

Yes. Most likely it’s a learned behavior. And does behavior readily change?

jahaims · Answer

If you had it in you once you are capable of doing it again

electromagnetic · Answer

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

missrizznoatt · Answer

Yes. The same goes about bullies but it is about your experiences and what you value the most in this life

XXblack88 · Answer

For the most part yes

Slim57 · Answer

Not necessarily but I won't be giving them a chance to change

Anonymous · Answer

I think the behavior is ingrained. Given the opportunity, they will do it again.

laly520 · Answer

once a cheater always a cheater

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No. People can definitely change for the better.

FenixG45 · Answer

Cheating for me is a redline

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