Have you ever been in a committed relationship with someone with some kind of health problem or disability? If so, how was/ is this experience for the two of you?

Question

👉No details. Just curiosity👈 Happy Sunday 💚 IR if it’s already going badly, I hope it gets better for you ❤️‍🩹

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My very first high school boyfriend had radioulnar synostosis. Basically he was born with the bones in his forearm twisted in one arm. If you looked at him dead on, his hand looked like it was rotated at a very scary angle all the time. He told me he had a couple of surgeries as a kid, definitely was bullied, and had no function in his left hand/arm. He could still drive and stuff, so the only thing is really affected was he couldn't use his left hand to grasp or pick up anything unaided. It never bothered me but it clearly did for him. Whenever we sat down like in a movie theater side by side, he never let me sit on his left side, he was always hiding his left hand with his right, and even in 100 degree weather he always wore a coat or long sleeves to cover it up. I hated that so much that he felt he needed to do that, but I never said anything because I could only imagine the childhood trauma of always being made fun of for something you were literally born with and as he described, the struggle play sports and never being picked because of it. We broke up after freshman year of college though for other reasons.

Now years later, in my early 30s, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness which has been hard, but I've had some pretty understanding partners. I don't tend to announce it minute one of dating someone, but if it seems like it's going somewhere, I'll let them know. I am so glad this happened to me, in some small measure, as an adult, because if I had to deal with this as a child, it would have been a nightmare.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

He had ADHD and it took some getting used to when we were living together.
I really felt bad for him❣️
ADHD is a horrible affliction to have to live with 24/7. It never let's up - it's always there rearing it's ugly head.
I don't know if I could live with such a difficult condition because it affects every single aspect of your life. I would probably go crazy 🤪 if I was constantly losing my keys, phone, wallet, etc. every single day! It's maddening to say the least.
My late boyfriend suffered tremendously with it, but now he's in heaven and they don't have ADHD in heaven. So he's finally resting in peace. Bless his heart. ❤️
It's okay now❣️ RIP Patrick John 🧸🍪🍪🍪🥛🥛

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the intricacies of love and life! While I'm here to sprinkle some wisdom on relationships, here's the scoop: love knows no limits or barriers. Whether it's a health issue or any other challenge, a committed relationship thrives on understanding, patience, and communication. Each journey is unique and can even strengthen the bond. Just remember, supporting each other is the real magic here. Who knew love could be this epic adventure, right? 💖

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I was married for 17 years to Debby, who was diagnosed with MS two years after we got married. Debby saw herself as a victim, stopped working, made minimal contributions to our marriage, expected me to do everything, became addicted to prescription pain medications, went psychotic a few times. I wanted to prove that I could make it work, but I eventually got a restraining order against her and we got divorced.

Avicenna · Answer

Well, I did have one girlfriend who had a whole passel of mental illnesses. Considering that it turned out that one of them was Borderline Personality Disorder, I'm glad I got out of that relationship with my body intact.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes, she had ADHD and it wasn’t an easy relationship to be in , it got so bad to the point I had to walk away

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I had, yep.

Twice, in different relationships. I've seen heavy health issues requiring ER visits when the situation gets out of control. I've seen heavy mental health issues also requiring ER, psy version. I think it taught me (or enforced) how to not panic in situations, because there must be one person standing in case of crisis. Though it took me a long time to recognize that I'm no superman, being relied on for too long has psychological consequences I overlooked. Overlooked because I thought doing the right thing would be enough. Psychology doesn't work like that lol, it seems obvious to me now but it took me time to realize the aftereffects.

As for their experience, I believe that, from the side of the one having issues, it's not a peaceful trip, emotionally speaking. Because knowing that you have to rely on someone isn't easy, psychologically, it triggers a somewhat complex system of symbolic debts, shared between the one in trouble and the one assisting. I discovered that, while sitting in the seat of the one helping.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I never have but I have a lot of experience:
My dad is disabled, limps on his left leg which doesn’t have muscles due to a childhood vaccine complication
He and my mom have been together for almost 30 years

It’s not always easy but there are more good days than bad and they always find a way

I think what makes it work is that my dad compensates for sometimes being a pain in the ass when it comes to climbing stairs by making himself useful around the house, always driving her if they go together anywhere.
And since he’s more social he always includes her when he makes plans with his friends

So the disability doesn’t define him. It’s not a personality trait

Just a minor inconvenience sometimes

The only downside is when he starts to use pain as an excuse to be lazy, that’s when they typically fight the most

I think it can work but it depends on the person

blondfrog · Answer

I still have never never been in a relationship. Never had girlfriend even. However if she did rarely would that stop me from perusing her. Only certain disease would stop me. Like those super rare disease where they have so many tumors on their face that they don't even look human anymore or something like progeria. I was watching one where this woman looks like a kid and she has a rare type of dwarfism where her whole body is proportionate to her size but she really looks like a little kid. Her name is Shauna. Like those situations I would not be with her cause I fell like I would really be judged by everybody and they would think I am pedophile. Like lets say she has hear disease or even liver disease stuff like that would not stop me. Or even certain types of cancers.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Ex hubby - when I met him, he was in the high of his illness - ulcerative colitis. I didn’t know what that was. He used joke that he was ready to be thrown into the pile… skinny like the Jews to be throw into the oven.
6 months into dating, he had to have surgery to have his large intestine removed because it was so infected with diseases…. he too made fun - saying it when into the Chinese restaurant and they cooked into some kind of intestine soup…

before that happened he was told to save some of his sperm just in case he cannot have kids if the surgery fails.

After the surgery, he started to heal and got better…. We went to to get married and have 2 amazing kids.

Anonymous · Answer

well, no but I have a good friend who... I don't know what she's got exactly, but it's wild. bi-polar, schizophrenia, or just being super negative or ANGRY about everything all the time. but it kinda destroys me. it's too much to deal with sometimes. I could not handle being in a relationship with her. Or maybe, if I was, it would be easier to handle those crazy mood swings because I'd know I had deep feelings for that person. But anyways, I understand how hard it can be, but I do know that those people are still worth it. Hate thinking that people write them off or ignore them just because they are "kind of a lot to deal with".

TallAnon · Answer

I was talking to a girl with depression for a while, but I ended up putting a stop to that, because it was negatively affecting me.
Day in and day out she'd be negative, but then she's asking me why I'm not talking to her more. You give it another spin, but a "how was your day" goes to another speech of her wanting to self harm.
At some point it feels pointless, because there's no improvement.

sawno · Answer

I was the one with the health issue, unfortunately I couldn't heal in time for it to work out but that wasn't her fault. Was multiple factors at play that made things hard. Still making progress healing and who knows what the future holds when healed.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

No. But when I was tutoring disabled people in college I had a semi-crush on one, and thought about asking her out. She was not seriously disabled - but I guess that depends on what you call serious.

molonski2 · Answer

Depends on the disability I guess..

Cancer survivor is about as close as I've gone , I found the medications and all that , they did just change her too much. Couldn't do it , but her actions not mine.

They say it goes one of two ways.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Does being crazy count as a disability? Because if so then 3-4 times.

If not then the closest I've come to dealing with that is when an ex that I was still with at the time had a cancer scare we were pretty stressed and worried till the results came back negative.

BrianCollard6808 · Answer

I dated a girl for 6 years right up until she passed. We were inseparable. Sure there were many challenges but we were able to overcome them with our love and devotion for each other. Sadly to say but that was my last relationship. It was 7 % 1/2 years ago. I've been single since.

777GgG · Answer

I'm in this situation currently. I had feelings before realized the severity of it. But I've let it be know I care and as long as he wants me around and there isn't a negative impact on my well-being I'm here.

Grond21 · Answer

Yes, and it is going decently well. I think we're going to be able to fix it long-term and she is strong

Anonymous · Answer

Not physical disability but I’ve dated at least one person with autism. i can’t remember what happened tho , I think he ghosted me , I’ve been in several online relationships, so I get confused about remembering every detail about each person.

MysticDevice · Answer

I have not experienced that. And holy crap you're still alive!

exitseven · Answer

I live a very active life and would want to be in a relationship with somebody who I could share it with.

katiesmuff · Answer

It's not something I ever had to face, so I honestly don't know how I would deal with it.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Nah I can't be bothered dealing with issues of someone else..

Anonymous · Answer

My ex had a bunch of food allergies. But we were only in high school so it didn’t affect me too much.

elizamichale1 · Answer

I haven't had a relationship but I have had a few clients with disabilities though

es20490446e · Answer

I prefer being with someone disabled than with some girls I have been with 😁

rebeliouse · Answer

ex was a psycho does that count lol @vivant

Anonymous · Answer

I've never been in any kind of relationship.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

I am that person since I have AuDHD.

billyboy197747 · Answer

I'm the one with the disability. No problems yet.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Nope.  What about you?

Jennz6 · Answer

I never have

DrPepper12 · Answer

Yeah. My relationship with myself. GBS sux

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Yes my ex

Have you ever been in a committed relationship with someone with some kind of health problem or disability? If so, how was/ is this experience for the two of you?

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Have you ever interacted with somebody that has a life threatening disability?

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