Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who suffers from depression? If so what was it like and how did you deal with it?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

The hardest relationships I experienced , being a constant punching bag to them , and always having a question mark over my head on whether they really loved me or not and treating me like I was a door mat but the second I walk away they come chasing me back , sadly this type of relationship is not healthy what so ever , I realized how big of a heart I actually had by tolerating this type of relationship , cuz it isn’t normal what so ever , basically you feel sorry for them because they have this depression and anxiety that they really can’t control , so I’d fall in love with the good in them and felt that I can be there for them and prove to them that i’m not going anywhere. But then I realize my wants and needs are pushed aside and feel like I don’t really matter to them. It’s like being in a relationship with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde , one minute they love me and adore me then the next they hate my fucking guts out of nowhere , leaving me with a constant question mark on whether it’s their depression talking or if it’s truly how they feel about me ? Or if they are just stringing me along For their convenience, all I know is I am a constant punching bag to the point I feel like I have to walk away , sadly I don’t as long as she doesn’t cheat on me , and sadly she makes me feel like she is being distant and not wanting to be intimate and affectionate with me so she gets me to a point that I feel like I don’t have a choice but to walk away , then BAM she Comes in the bedroom butt naked wanting me to fuck her brains out , so for some fucking reason I end up with these type of girls that suffer depression to the point at times I feel like I have a string of it now , I went To my doctors and he laughed at me saying why do I fall for these type of girls , so he put me on Zoloft and said only Take this while you are in a relationship with these kind of girls lol no lie Zoloft has helped me ease the stress these girls put me through but then I realized I don’t want to have to take a fucking pill to be in a relationship with someone. I hate sounding conceited, but I feel the only reason these. Kind of girls are drawn to me is cuz I actually understand them and can tolerate their abusive episodes where most guys would just walk away and say fuck this shit So I honestly been trying to find a girl that doesn’t need meds , but sadly I think all girls are on them these days , I am single now and trying to play my cards right cuz I am mentally exhausted on how selfish girls are today and if she is on meds even fucking worse , When I find a girl that knows hat I men’s to remove selfishness and find a girl that orang cheat and find. Girl that makes me feel wanted consistently then I might give my heart to her but she has a lot of walls to climb to prove it to me , sorry but my experiences with girls molded me into this way , I am exhausted from having my heart shit on

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

Yes; my wife. Both "regular" depression and then a compounding from post-partum depression after four of our five pregnancies.

It was brutal for both of us and for the kids. She was miserable by knowing that she was depressed and lethargic and that made her feel worse and it spiraled downward. I wanted to help -- I'm a fixer -- and knew that I was powerless and clueless: knew only that something was wrong. We had one thing going for us and we did two things right. What we had going for us was fantastic health care so we got my wife counseling, therapy, and medications all of which worked wonders. What we did right is that we didn't take it out on each other: I was frustrated with her and she was mad at herself which manifested in frustration with me. I channeled mine with running. She crocheted. And the second thing we did right was talking and convincing her to get help because it was beyond our ability.

We're stronger now because of all this.

razelove · Answer

Several, my first marriage was like that. It got to a point where I was no longer sure if she was really depressed or trying to manipulate me with that as an excuse. Either way there was cheating (both me and her) drug abuse, it was bad. Another relationship later on, less committed, more poly, where I just didn't hear from her for about a month, and she tried blaming it on an anti depressant and me not being there for her. I told her not to call me again.

The last time when I heard the word depression I just told her to leave. I figure there are people who have these problems, get help, or at least want it, and that's ok. The three examples I gave were women I dated who used that as a shield and absolutely disgusted me.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I'm the one usually suffering from it, so it is a problem for others but I have on occasion been the more stable one and as it is a disease a terrible one at that. You simply have to treat it like any other incurable disease.

Guy13 · Answer

i never have but my best friend has and it was exceedingly difficult with the moods, violence, and depths of darkness.

Rosexøxø · Answer

Well he was manipulative. He took advantage 🤷‍♀️ Until I stopped him. Yeah, not very long…

Avicenna · Answer

Yeah, once- sometimes it didn't seem to affect her, but most of the time it did

dynamicyandere · Answer

I’ve dated a handful of girls that had depression. I didn’t know at first, but later they revealed the struggles they were going through. It’s a lot of work. A lot of patience. A lot of giving and giving and giving your time and attention and love and nurture.

But, you need to remember that you have your own emotional needs that need to be fulfilled as well. They need to be at a point in life where their depression isn’t so bad that they can’t give anything to a relationship.

Relationships are a 2-way street. So if they’re too depressed to contribute enough to keep the relationship alive, then they aren’t ready for a relationship.

It won’t be sustainable and you’ll eventually burn out, if month after month after month, your emotional needs are not being met.

There has been 1 exception. But, with dating others that are depressed, it can easily become a 1-sided relationship. Because they may have little to nothing to give to the relationship. You need to think about sustainability.

Would you be able to deal with this, forever?

If the answer is yes, then good for you. You must be an extremely patient person and you love them very much.

If the answer is no, then no need to feel bad. If they want to be with someone but have a lot of unresolved issues, they simply may not be ready for a relationship yet. And, they should not make you feel bad if you simply have higher standards for what you want in a partner.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

I was in a relationship with someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. But he was also a narcissist and exhibited controlling behaviour. Let's just say things didn't go well.

But I don't think that is how every relationship with someone suffering from a mental illness will be. So long as they actively get help, and actively work on themselves things will be alright.

I suffer from depression and anxiety, it took me a while to be able to communicate when I'm feeling down or anxious to my partner. But now he knows that if I'm acting weird, or being snappy that I'm likely just having a bad time.

I also make sure I apologize and make sure he holds me accountable for apologizing. He won't at the time but later on or the next day he will say something like "hey earlier you were really snappy at me and I didn't like that" and I will apologize for my behaviour.

You have to remember that it's not really you talking at that time. The brain does weird things when it's under so much stress.

fonduegirl · Answer

Yes. There were days he was so emotionally unavailable. So I definitely don't recommend it. Support all people, but don't be a substitute for therapy.

DarkCarousel · Answer

Yes— just be there for them when they are in a dark place. Encourage them to find healthy outlets.  I have also been through depression myself and I had a very supportive partner.

the_bruh · Answer

I fell through depression. But eventually i grew into it. The best thing to do is to just work on improving yourself. I've never had a depressed partner, I'd help them work on themselves if i had one.

sheikalana · Answer

I've been and I tried to stay and help but this person wasn't willing to get better and receive help from me. I had to move on.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Unfortunately, I have yet to be anyone's choice. I would have probably been the one with depression for a long time.

Brando10222 · Answer

You have to be really patient with that person otherwise its gonna mess with both of your minds, and give you hard time.

begum01 · Answer

You can recommend your partner to go to a psychologist and maybe you can get some counseling too, to learn how to react, how you can help

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I did that once. It was awful. I felt like I was constantly being used as an emotional crutch for her to take her anger/frustration out on.

krin_m · Answer

Yes, and it was very difficult. You want to help them but if they withdraw it becomes a tough situation. Best thing to do is to convince them to seek professional help!

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, and it was a real struggle to deal with it.

OddBeMe · Answer

Asking my wife…she’s texting back: fck off I’m working.

panerabricks · Answer

No and I cannot imagine that is enjoyable whatsoever

serious · Answer

No. I have always been single.

elizamichale1 · Answer

No thankfully not

es20490446e · Answer

She just stayed there like a bush.

Iron_Man · Answer

I just did deal with it

Fuentes · Answer

I tried back then but could not do it.

Jude_Wills · Answer

Feeling sad 🙁

Kelly6 · Answer

Kind of

Preeti161101 · Answer

Nope

In_Trance · Answer

No i haven't

ItalianKing02 · Answer

2023!

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who suffers from depression? If so what was it like and how did you deal with it?

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