While I don't agree with the title of the photo (diagnosing Narcissism should be left to a professional), this is a great list of determining if someone is a narcissist. Having recently been in a relationship with a narcissist, I think these are traits are eye-opening, especially when he (or she) has ALL of these qualities. My ex had all except number 8. Narcissists are often drawn to empaths, and empaths to narcissists. This is because empaths have a lot of compassion and understanding to give, while narcissists thrive on someone worshipping them.
I suggest you make some more research in the area of personality disorders and the different kind of ones in every main group like covert and non covert, different what they seek to get their fix like some that's in the group of relationship oriented or any other. Most of those under group's even apply to sociopath and psychopath. Learn the difference in those different ones since all of them used most of the same main techniques to get their ways.
Psychopath is like a narcissist but they aren't insecure and has no need to be admired or confirmation. Are usually called predator from many within psychology.
Narcissists are great at creating first impressions in different social settings with one even with multiple ones at once. Social butterfly.
Sociopaths are great at putting on different masks to fitt in how they appear to be as a person. but sucks at un expecting events with people since they have problems to shift between masks in that situation. in difference to narcissists they have problems to create first impression also to handle multiple people at once. They are usually laid back, rarely taking initiative to interact with new people or approach in difference to narcissists. They usually have people around them to do their work just like you see in American teen movies with the leader of popular groups like for sports teams and cheerleaders also bullying groups.
Non of them no matter personality disorder let's anyone do deep rapport on them, tells personal thing's that can be used or at all un less it's part af their game.
DSM isn't the only diagnostic system that are recognized on this planet, only the most referred one in American influenced practice. for instance, France had their own, probably still use it. (doesn't remember the name)
I am very much an empath and while me ex didn't show all of these traits there are some that stuck out. It did turn out to be a rather toxic relationship.
I'm as much an introvert as I am an empath.. i haven't had many relationships so she was the only relationship worth mentioning. As for people in general most of that list is people I typically avoid.
I dated a sociopath before and he was pretty narcissistic.
I worked with a true narcissist a few years ago who felt entitled to my body (sex) because he was nice to me. I told him that’s not how friendship works and he spent about two months harassing me. He displayed all of the traits as stated up above. I was able to outsmart him. I recorded the harassment encounters and showed them to our boss. He lost his job. Narcissists often times think they are so smart but aren’t as sneaky as they think... in my opinion.
I've had a so-called "friend" in the past who had every single one of these characteristics. He still thinks he's special and above everyone else, and thinks he's too good to get a real job and that other people should support him while he just does what he finds fun.
As far as dating goes, maybe the guys had a trait or two from this list, but I wouldn't necessarily consider them narcissistic.
Here's my narc's life. This is what I see every day. She gets up sits in the living room and scowls. She spends all her time texting and calling people. She leaves for work around lunch and gets back sometime after dinner. She sits on the sofa and scowls. She spends all her time texting and calling people.
Do you see me in this picture.
Now let's look at what she really does.
Going to work is a lie. She is a gambling addict. She also fucks people she met on line. She also fucks people in her circle or harem. Men and women. She once said she could never be with two (men). I have since learned that she uses that tone of voice when she lies to me and is concerned that I don't believe her.
Sometimes she spends a lot of time getting ready for work. She asks my opinion fo what she's wearing and usually goes with my choice. She'll take a picture and post it online. Those are the tinder date days. Two, three, four times a week.
She once called me from the hotel bathroom pretending to be at work. I've been that guy in the hotel, a lot.
When she doesn't do this and just dresses casually she's gambling. She video calls me then and seems to think that I think she's working on her laptop. I only see the top of her torso and she puts the phone down when she needs both hands. It's pointed at the ceiling.
She has agirlfriend that she usually sees every day. That's why she gets home after dinner.
Obviously I am not with her anymore. She is testing the hoovering waters. Now I am a secret friend that noone knows about. Except that everyone in her family and harem know about it. That's a fact and I won't bore you with details.
This girl lies so much that I don't even know who she is. She lies so much that she forgets the lie she told before and contradicts herself.
She is completely paranoid that I will tell everyone she is a bad person. Of course she is telling everyone she can that I am. I am in a small hotel. the manager/operator has become one of her flying monkeys reporting to her daily about my activity and mood.
She stole my money to gamble with. I fucked the hell out her until I got my money's worth.
That is what I am to her, Empath, ATM, fuckbot. So yeah she wants to keep me around. But there is no way in hell that I will ever again be aprt of the slow motion gangbang of thios sick, sorry, waste of skin.
I am angry. I am free. I am in the early stages of a new relationship. With a normal woman. How refreshing it is. It broke the spell. Not sex. Talking about life what we like to do, food, music movies. Normal stuff.
That's when it hit me. My narc's life.
Are you with a narc? What does she/he do every day. With you? We are not doctors but there is a lot of info out there about narcs. Examples of typical narc beahiour. If you with a narc or are pretty damn sure you are. Run away the first chance you get and ghost the asshole.
I think we all have some of these traits even if we wouldn't be classified as a narc. But I think the most telling is the lack of empathy and REMORSE.
I think we are all capable of making mistakes and hurting others but one specific thing that you can pick up over time is that they will never be sorry for their wrong actions and will always justify them.
The narc I was with broke my fathers windows out because she thought I was there and not answering the phone or the door.
While she was doing this I was at riding around with my father at work trying to make sense of my horrible marriage.
Of course she didn't go to jail for this because, small town, her family knew the chief of police and she's a woman.
The strangest thing is she never felt any remorse or responsibility for her actions.
After this I realized that the entire relationship consisted of this type of behavior where she played a victim and justified ridiculous types of behavior and blamed others for her lashing out in revenge and anger often over little things.
Then when I told her I wanted her to see a professional or get a divorce, she called me and told me that she was getting asked out and if I didn't come home she was gonna go out with one.
We were married 5 years and I was only out of the house I week insisting we get counseling or a divorce and she said either come home or she's gonna go out with other guys. I was like, go ahead.
How do you know she never felt remorse or guilt or responsibility though? She could just be one of those people with too much pride or too embarrassed to admit it.
Well, I think you can tell over time when someone really feels sorry for something they said or did. It also becomes glaringly apparent when they never feel remorseful. We all say things we dont mean in arguments and do things we aren't proud of.
And some of us show genuine remorse and actually feel it in our heart. Which is what causes us to make amends.
Good narcs dont get this feeling and so are never prompted to think about their actions in a self critical way. And once you've known one intimately for a long period of time it sticks out like a sore thumb
Also one of the most frustrating things is that, to people on the outside of the relationship the covert narcissist seems like a good person. Its only when you get to know the real them, that they hide from others, that you realize the horrible mistake you made by entangling yourself with this person.
I was once talking to a girl who would go out of her way to give me nice compliments which I didn't ask for and then when I didn't give any back (which I didn't know I had to give some back I was just being myself not trying to be an ass kisser. I only give compliments when they are real and feel right) she immediately said I had to give her compliments now because she gave me some. And she kept saying compliment her and she deserves a compliments and I haven't given her one compliment at all. I was sitting there feeling super weird like wtf? First of all I gave a nice compliment the day before... was that not good enough? Also how is it a real compliment when you are forcing the person to compliment you? That right there immediately put me off and I ghosted her the next day. I got huge narcissist vibes and knew it would shatter her if I ghosted her so I did it to put her in her place. To my surprised she followed me around. We worked together. She wasn't supposed to be in my department and I always heard my boss yelling at her telling her she's not supposed to be in this building and she's supposed to be working in her part of building. I was surprised that she did not get fired she kept doing it for probably 2 weeks before she finally stopped. It was funny at first but got pretty creepy later on. So I really wonder was I right to think she was a narcissist?
I have personailty disorder and my one say's it comes with minor narcissist traits. so i kinda am one. What i kinda hate tho is everyone just gets scared of narcissist traits just a insta judge your abusive or something. But honestly i ain't like that at all. I dunno if all narcissist are abusive but i know for sure i ain't and i have traits like super strong opinions and they rarley change but longs if someone don't back me into a coner with them ideails or opinions i never get mad or defensive and even if i did i would only aruge like most people do and i do have empethy but only to people i know.
but anyway my point is i am sorta one but i ain't like what people think when they hear that word at all. And it annoys me when people do it really effects social life and you think oh why not just lie and say you don't have it since people in your life don't even notice cause it isn't bad like that. Welp that's another of my stong opinions don't lie to people you want in your life.
best way to sum myself up is light yagami from death note but i would never use misa and would of treated her nice. Heck even my ex who is friends with me after a break said something today about death note, she said well if you were light you would treat misa right. which actaul got to my heart even my ex knows i am good person have no clue why she left me probably ugly.
Unfortunately, I had a partner that exhibited the signs of rampant narcissicim. I work a really hard job as an advanced lead technician for Burger King and I don't have time to do things like turn off the microwave when I'm done using it. Is it so hard to ask my girlfriend that has a much lower ranking job than me to mind such basic things? Of course she's my ex now, since the selfish narc couldn't be bothered to drive me to a friend's house on her ENTIRE HALF HOUR off from ER duty. She seriously suggested I take an Uber and implied my friend was a prostitute. As if I would use public transit. Yeah, no. I made it to my friends house and fucked her for cheap just to spite my selfish narc (now) ex. You should have seen her cry, it was like an ultimate catharsis for her mental illness. In fact, looking back on it, she constantly tried to put her emotional stress on me, whining about her near death experience and sexual trauma. I'm just thinking, "can you stop telling the same story about your rape over and over again and get back to the handjob? Heard ya the first time, crazy." I mean only a full blown narcissist could have such little empathy as to tell the same story over and over again, it's really unpleasant. Done with that cunt, but she's still obsessed with me... of course. I was about to get a restraining order on her but she did it first just to make me look bad. Obviously she just wants to try to get me in prison for popping her narcissistic bubble.
1) I think it's very problematic to say you do understand only professionals are in a position to diagnose Narcissism, but still post this. I don't think anyone in the world is clear of all these characteristics.
2) That aside, I have indeed been used, abused and exploited by so-called "narcissists" on several occasions, in most cases continuously. I have learned that the only thing that works against them is brute force (not physical, ofc). Burst their bubble, humiliate them, show them and the world how pathetic and ridiculous they are. Slowly but surely - it will destroy them from within. As long as you're motivated and consistent - it works, I promise.
3) Bonus: one of the cheapest and worse "tools of trade" of the current generation of narcissists is to accuse others of narcissistic behaviour, usually in order to isolate and ridicule them. Because of their charisma, they easily convince others in the immidiate environment to think that the victim, rather than the aggressor, is the narcissist. The most common example is SJWs, feminazis, veganazis and other such cults of social posing and attention seeking. They tag anyone who disagrees with their ideology of facist coerssion a "narcissist" in order to de-validate them and their opinions. So be on your guard.
1) I don't understand that... I stated that it should be left to a professional but I still think these are good things to consider if there are problems in the relationship that can be worked on or not.
2) Just curious, do you have empathic type qualities? I've found some statements that assisted with the "bursting their bubble": I can accept your faulty perception of me.
I have no right to control how you see me.
I guess I have to accept how you feel.
You're entitled to your reality.
Your anger is not my responsibility.
3. That's exactly what my ex is doing now... accusing me of narcissism. He didn't do that until he realized it was over. I have seen people low-blow like that, yes. Good point!
Your empathic ways might be better, yeah, but mine also cause pain and hurt to the narcissist. I believe that's important for them to learn the lesson...
You forgot to mention rapists, thieves, and actual cultists on your list. Which of those categories do you fit that you try and put the blame on fucking vegans?
Oh, I "lost at the internet", I see :) You cult members are just too adorable. And as for your attempt at sexual harrassment - duly noted and reported, so thanks for helping us keep the cyberspace clean from filthy cult members! :)
I have to agree a bit with @DanOh2018. It's like extrovert vs. Introvert, nobody is 100% one or the other and some change depending the people they're around. I think a lot of people label others narcissistic to justify their emotional wounds. So they can say "the problem was them not me". Because everything looked so right. How did it turn out so wrong? That person either led me on from the beginning or they changed. This is the problem with feelings and why i day people should be friends for a while before they are anything. This way you truly understand who it is is you're with ( not saying that friends can't still surprise you even after knowing them for years. But people don't generally change who they are at their core.
Yes. I fell for him because I mistook his arrogance for confidence. Some of narcissists traits are actually very attractive. Our relationship was good, but there was almost no romance at all. He would rarely do anything for me, it was mostly for him (make it look like it's for me). He had traits 4., 5., 7. and 9. and other. He fell into deep depression when he started getting a little bold, that's the first time he seek help. He was then diagnosed by a professional with a heavy narcissists disorder. He dumped me with no remorse, showed no sign of any feeling about breakup, cold as ice.
I'm not an empath, but I guess I was gullible and available to her. I can only go off of my experience but I feel like narcisism in women is more prevalent than what we see and agree on statistically. Neither here nor there however. But I do think our cultures especially in the west have been and are increasingly narc friendly. E. g. hypothetically if two narc traits were most common in people, now it's three, and so on as time progresses. It's gotten to the point where the U. S. president, the "leader of the free world" is considered to even have NPD by professionals.
Funny thing is, my same ex who showed no remorse or compassion after emotionally cheating on me while pettily texting me that I "couldn't hang", claimed earlier in the relationship to be able to feel other people's emotions, i. e., claimed to be an empath.
If she is an empath, then I've learned that being an empath doesn't mean you're compassionate. It just means you're better and more adept at the learnable skill of empathy. Empathy, I say, is a skill even narcs can use for their ventures; it's called "love bombing", usually in the early phase of a relationship with a narc.
by the way I'm not saying that literally feeling others' emotions is learnable, but the act or performance of empathy is learnable. And sensing others' emotions would help in that. And I'm suggesting that compassion is something other than and additional to feeling another's emotions. That, empathic ability and compassion perhaps do not automatically appear together.
@SydneySentinal I'm aware of course that some relationships don't work out. I'm curious though, do you think an empath would do what my ex did? Why, or why not?
It sure felt like it was, but I understand there is a spectrum of. She had some. I dated a BPD (Borderline) as well.
Most important part is... what are you going to do about it. It does help to learn and become aware of these dynamics. But will you be attracted to an empath? Or can you learn sufficient boundaries to manage a NPD/BPD? Will you quickly filter out and discard the NPD BPD? It's sub conscious emotional changes and awreness. Else... repeat... Thats my experience...
I wonder if some of this is created.
you love Batman. Isn't batman a little... um... Then the question becomes... why do you love that? If you try hard... could you be attracted to a really good natured "nice person" who isn't casting a strong tough image?
See the pattern in daughter? Stuff gets passed generational... I believe it can be broken, if that is desired.
A lot of my coworkers in my profession fit in more than 5 of those. I wouldn't call them a nar. but i don't know them deeper than what they do. My boss.. urrggg... not sure if they are train to be one assh... just fit well by that list. Like you said, prob. wouldn't go by that list to judge ones character. I know of other women who hurt me due to their selfness, and could be a narc. Relationships can be hard and lots of factors involve. It takes time and love to understand another person. Both get hurt if locking understanding, communication, compassion and situations can do even more damaging. I was in that and my heart broke into pieces for months and it can seem he didn't care but himself. Whenever a relationship ends, I look at myself, what I could have done better. What went wrong. And make those changes. That have serve me better... slowly :) I hope you are healing better.
It's tough... I think there are degrees of them. My mom might be one herself. It's the claim that not many people would take upon themselves. But you do have to be careful before saying a person relates that, it can really effect your relationship with them
Yes my ex wife was, she came across at first as a pacifist and submissive but when she got what she wanted and demanded her own way all the time she presented signs of narcissism... also i agree for the most part with leaving diagnosis to professionals but identifying a narcissist would be much more suited
Thankfully no, but I really don't want to end up with someone like that, I've dealt with a lot of people like that in my life, and it is not something I want to experience with a partner.
That is an interesting thought though as far as the empaths and narcissists, it does make sense.
I went out with a couple sociopaths. I think we’ve all had a few narcissists and aren’t they a lively bunch. Regarding the first sociopath, I was younger and fascinated plus she was gorgeous so it was the perfect guise for her. She just had no empathy mostly but found me amusing as I found her curious.
The second one was a true con artist manipulator. Like a psychopath, if you told her no or there was any slight towards her she would go insane. From experience, a lot of women have to have their way but not dinky little things causing them to want you dead literally.
They’re scary when angry and always up to something. Narcissists like sociopaths are everywhere. The former though tend to dominate.
I think this should be left up to a professional to make a diagnosis i don't think people should be throwing that around just like anything yes i have mental illness and i have dated mentally ill Women/ Girls i imagine most of them have talked dirt on me but doesn't say i got to do it in return to her. Yes I've learned the hard way but hey least it opened my eyes for me to realize right from wrong back in my late 20's middle 30's i didn't know much but once i hit that middle 40's and now early 50's i do realize things. Yes i been in relationship with my last ex girlfriend who couldn't live outside of a State Hospital / Group Homes it was hard for her but not for me to judge any of them.
No, I've been lucky in the sense that everyone I've dated have basically been good people, the fact we've separated has been more down to a lack of narcissism on both parts lol, and more importantly they've been pretty painless break ups. Now if you were asking if I have any relations that were Narcissist's then you'd get a completely different answer! lol
Not all narcissists have a grand view of themselves some believe everything thing is there fault and hate themselves, but we are not a good people to be with
A Narcissists main motivation is to be served and to feel superior. They use and toss aside. Here is a video entitled, "7 Things A Narcissist Can't Feel" and I encourage you to watch it if you feel you are involved with someone who might be a narcissist.
The thing is... does it matter what a narcissist says about YOUR personality? Not one bit. Everything a narcissist says is designed to fit their own disorder. Screw them.
I was friends with one and found him fun and interesting in the beginning, but I eventually got tired of the empty promises along with not being very dependable. Then after a while I realized that he was very insecure and a total fake. EVERYTHING he said was a total lie.
You are more than welcome to share the other traits that you have seen.
I didn't realize that I was flocking to a narcissist. He learned me so he could appeal to the things that I said and present himself as exactly what I needed. No one WANTS a narcissist.
I actually asked this question a couple weeks ago and secret6620 posted this and I thought it was about as accurate as it gets. My narcisstic friend hit everyone of these on the head.
Unfortunately I had to go back to being an uptight asshole that never lets anyone borrow anything and says no to everything cause every time I open up I get fucked in the ass and taken advantage of.
No. I can't say I have. At least not an intimate one. I have a few narcissistic. Some have accused me of being narcissistic in the past but to be honest I'm a lot different from who I used to be.
I am neither of those but my lovers have been a mixed bag. I like a bit of arrogance but people blinded by their egos and selfishness never last long with me.
Yes and someone with borderline personality disorder traits as well as NPD. You really feel like you're living a nightmare. They're unbelievably abusive but everyone loves them because they're very charming superficially.
I've been on a first date with a few, but detected this almost immediately and ensured a 2nd date never occurred. My mother is a narcissist so I am extremely good at detecting them and have no desire to be around them. Dealing with one is enough.
The relationship is between two brothers to start. That being said it is still a relationship I really wish I didn't have. It haunts me everyday and if anything I'm only astounded at how Ill struck he remains, all fucked up n waiting to happen...
Oh no, I am one... Actually I have tendencies of 1-4 but every ex was a solid 1-9. I guess that is why I will take a plain ugly, just so I can avoid this.
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