Let’s say you’re dating a really nice person and know that they’re the marrying type and loyal to you but they have a disability of some sort is it a deal breaker? Or it doesn’t matter if you really care for the person?
I prefer using the label "challenged" rather than "disabled." We all face challenges in life, but that doesn't mean we are "unable." I'd be more interested in how the individual faces the challenge than whether a challenge exists. When those challenges are used as excuses to avoid being responsible human beings, then I tend to avoid those people. People with the greatest challenges have tended to impress me the most. Can you truly claim that Stephen Hawking was unable? Both my son and I have memory challenges, but that hasn't prevented either of us from earning advanced degrees or holding responsible positions.
Learning differently doesn't mean the person is unable to learn. Right-brained individuals learn differently from left-brained individuals, yet, because most teachers are left-brained and teach left-brained, most right-brained individuals fall through the cracks and never become teachers.
Though most people with panic attacks seek medical treatment, medications don't cure panic attacks. Only behavioral changes will eliminate that challenge. The one thing most likely to help people who are depressed tends to be the last thing a depressed person considers. Cardiovascular exercise can reduce or eliminate depression in many people, yet people who are depressed claim they don't have the energy to exercise. Actually, exercise gives us energy.
It could be. I'll be brutally honest.
I dated a woman that had lupus. She was great in a lot of ways. But her health issues were a big reason why I decided to end things.
Lupus is not always a big deal, but it can cause serious complications. She also had a very low chance of having healthy children, which is something I have always wanted.
She would often expect me to take care of her when she was feeling bad, and I just had trouble envisioning making all of this work for the rest of my life.
It would also make it really hard to ever look out for myself, constantly having to worry about someone else, and putting their needs before my own.
Did I feel like an asshole for feeling this way, sure. Yeah, I think it's probably one of my lower moments in my thoughts. But I would rather rip the bandaid off and hurt her now, then lie and trick her into a life that I never wanted.
If someone doesn't want to deal with your issues, they are within their rights to not do so. It may hurt, but it's just a part of life.
My ex fiancé thought he had a Bipolar disorder, I thought that he indeed have some symptoms, though he was never diagnosed.
Sometimes he was very unstable, but I loved him and always thought, he deserved to be loved no less. He had his amazing sides that I totally admired.
And I was ready to be next to him, no matter what. That’s love.
Even though he hurt me a lot and tend to have some toxic periods, I would never leave him, cause I made a decision to love him at his worst and best.
So, it’s possible to find love. We are all “faulted” in some ways. Every single one of us.
It could be. But that depends on how we are able to handle it together. If we are able to work it out together and I know how to deal with him when he’s having those attacks or episodes. So I can help him overcome them.
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So, I have personal experience in dating people with BPD like these. One was 100% honest about it the other lived-in denial about it. I tried really hard in both relationships, but at the end of the day there extremely difunctional and toxic relationships. So, I know there are these don't blame the person but the disease types out there... and we all should be loving and caring tender-hearted people. But that's BS to me.
If you have never been in a relationship with someone like this then you honestly have no clue what you are in store for.
To me it's a big deal. It definitely came in the way of one of my relationships when I dated a girl with some issues.
The depression wasn't so bad but the anxiety was largely why we broke up.
I know it's mostly my fault because I'm a do-er, I don't understand anxiety, I don't get anxious unless maybe I'm watching a movie or a basketball is bouncing around the rim. Even if I did, I wouldn't know because it's pretty much a foreign concept to me.
So it was hard for me to be sympathetic to her sometimes like one time I needed her to pick me up from work because we only had one car. Well it started raining pretty heavy and it was getting dark so she was freaking out.
Mind you, she's driven in the pouring rain in the dark just fine a bunch of times. But I guess that's what it's like to have anxiety. As much as I wanted to have sympathy for her, I was broke, working 2 jobs and one of them was tied into a business I was an owner of. It was just making big problems.
I think all of the above disabilities are so common these days, just because people are beginning to open up about them. When I was younger, you didn't dare tell anyone you had anxiety or depression, people thought it was an excuse to sleep in and be "lazy". My daughter has anxiety, panic attacks and depression, and I try to help her cope/coexist with them. So my answer is, having any kind of mental health or disability is not a show stopper in my books. Love, makes us see things in a different light.
For me it is not a deal breaker if they are working on it and trying to be a healthy version of themselves. Through out my years of dating I have learned that it's much more important how a person treats you verses what challenges they may have to deal with. If the person treats me with respect, love, honesty, I'm attracted to them and is willing to do the work for our relationship I wouldn't hold that against them. Plus none of us are perfect in this world. All of us have something going on with us it can be physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, economically or something else.
It's kind of a case by case basis but in my experience, "anxiety" is a grossly overused excuse, and most mental health problems are over-diagnosed and poorly treated exclusively through pills rather than any meaningful therapy, and so they'll constantly play the victim card. If that's not the case, then it's fine.
Physical disabilities are generally not a deal-breaker for me, and I've dated a few women who had some that were inconvenient (for them) but didn't really get in the way, and weren't factors in our breakups.
Generally no. The condition itself is not the deal breaker.
How they manage it (or don't/won't/can't) is the deal make or break.
I've got Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I manage it actively and thrive despite it. I expect whoever I date to have the same control over their health.
As long as she's willing to work on her issues, no it wouldn't. I learned at an early age, however, that if a person isn't self-motivated to solve their own problems, then there is no helping them. While the support from others helps make the work easier, you can't force somebody to change unless the motivation to do so starts within them.
I would hope not. Although it is personal preference. A lot of people have anxiety and anxiety can spring on at any point in someone’s life due to different circumstances.
All in all it depends on the person and what you want to put up with I think if you truly love someone those would not be dealbreakers.
a learning disability isn't really something you can change so that's definitely not a deal breaker, other things like anxiety or depression also wouldn't be a deal breaker unless the person isn't trying to overcome or help themselves, i've played a kind of therapist to friends and family before i don't want to be stuck doing that for a partner
The best answer I liked and I voted for has to be, depends. It depends on the way it is in the real world, much like I have my own real world flaws, like my phobia of heights, and I can be anxiety prone and aloof. But merrily. very merry about myself, it's the outside world that's the control freak joys 🥱🥱 no pressure I tell myself daily 😅😅😅 I love sweet sweat smiley emoji for this question 👍🏻😅😅🥱 and yawn
It would depend on the disability. I had a learning disability all through school. Never stop me from dating amd getting married. It would really depend on the the disability, the severity of it, and how they handle it and goe it effects our relationship.
Yes it’s a dealbreaker. I’m not gonna be putting up with some nutcase, special-case. Special-Needs Ass B-ch. 😑
I don’t have any of those issues myself why tf would I choose to stay with someone who does. What? So I can experience “THEIR HELL”? 🤡
Screw…
All…..
THAT….
It depends how bad it is and whether or not they have ever been institutionalized and/or have a history of domestic violence/disruption. It also depends if they are financially dependent on other people given their condition.
One of ex gfs had this issue and she got batshit psycho the more I got to know her. She was honest about her past and I tried to give her a chance. The ugly truth is that was a huge red flag I should of paid attention to.
It depends. If it's something treatable and/ or the person is, let's say, well medicated, abide by her treatment and wiling to improve her condition to the extend it is possible, it's not a deal breaker. It also depends on your tolerance on the issue. On the other hand, if it's something you find difficult to cope with, and/or the person is not willing to do her part on treating her condition, that can be hard to live with.
Panic attacks aren't really disability, 😀 sis-
I have a family with both mental and physical disorders. It's really tough and at times really toxic, to deal with them.
Good news is I don't wanna marry anyone. So I can be with whoever I want as long as it doesn't hit home too hard.
If it gets in the way of her functioning like an adult and being able to have a fulfilling relationship, then yes. I ain't here to babysit a grown ass woman who doesn't know how to get her shit together.
I have Mild Cerbal Palsy and it was difficult for me to pay attention and learn in school like math was hard with numbers. I was diagnosed with social anxiety, depression as a teenager and the social anxiety did feel like a problem as I never felt comfortable talking with stuttering. As for dating someone with social anxiety, it would really depend if it was serve like panic attacks. I remember having those when I was younger like I was have a heart attack thinking and worrying a lot.
The learning disability is 100% not an issue, because I have one myself, so the the contrary, I think it's kind of hot and a bonus actually.
Definitely want to avoid depressed people, as I need to be surrounded with positive energy. I've dealt with depressed people before and no, just no.
The other two, I guess it depends on the severity, but I'd prefer not to.
I have Schizophrenia and my partner has OCD, anxiety, and Bi-Polar. So, I can safely say that it isn't a problem for either of us. Who better to understand one another than two individuals with mental health issues.
It depends but there’s a few disabilities that are a deal breaker like sever narcissist BPD bipolar and schizophrenia.
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