Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Let’s say you’re dating a really nice person and know that they’re the marrying type and loyal to you but they have a disability of some sort is it a deal breaker? Or it doesn’t matter if you really care for the person?
I prefer using the label "challenged" rather than "disabled." We all face challenges in life, but that doesn't mean we are "unable." I'd be more interested in how the individual faces the challenge than whether a challenge exists. When those challenges are used as excuses to avoid being responsible human beings, then I tend to avoid those people. People with the greatest challenges have tended to impress me the most. Can you truly claim that Stephen Hawking was unable? Both my son and I have memory challenges, but that hasn't prevented either of us from earning advanced degrees or holding responsible positions.
Learning differently doesn't mean the person is unable to learn. Right-brained individuals learn differently from left-brained individuals, yet, because most teachers are left-brained and teach left-brained, most right-brained individuals fall through the cracks and never become teachers.
Though most people with panic attacks seek medical treatment, medications don't cure panic attacks. Only behavioral changes will eliminate that challenge. The one thing most likely to help people who are depressed tends to be the last thing a depressed person considers. Cardiovascular exercise can reduce or eliminate depression in many people, yet people who are depressed claim they don't have the energy to exercise. Actually, exercise gives us energy.
It could be. I'll be brutally honest.
I dated a woman that had lupus. She was great in a lot of ways. But her health issues were a big reason why I decided to end things.
Lupus is not always a big deal, but it can cause serious complications. She also had a very low chance of having healthy children, which is something I have always wanted.
She would often expect me to take care of her when she was feeling bad, and I just had trouble envisioning making all of this work for the rest of my life.
It would also make it really hard to ever look out for myself, constantly having to worry about someone else, and putting their needs before my own.
Did I feel like an asshole for feeling this way, sure. Yeah, I think it's probably one of my lower moments in my thoughts. But I would rather rip the bandaid off and hurt her now, then lie and trick her into a life that I never wanted.
If someone doesn't want to deal with your issues, they are within their rights to not do so. It may hurt, but it's just a part of life.
She also had issues with anxiety, would not ever go to bars with me "because she had a bad experience" at one time. I get that it might have been bad, but I like to go out for drinks with friends. Someone who refuses to do so is not exactly compatible with me.
I don't like going to concerts. If someone was dating me and loved going to see live music, I probably wouldn't be the right choice for them.
My ex fiancé thought he had a Bipolar disorder, I thought that he indeed have some symptoms, though he was never diagnosed.
Sometimes he was very unstable, but I loved him and always thought, he deserved to be loved no less. He had his amazing sides that I totally admired.
And I was ready to be next to him, no matter what. That’s love.
Even though he hurt me a lot and tend to have some toxic periods, I would never leave him, cause I made a decision to love him at his worst and best.
So, it’s possible to find love. We are all “faulted” in some ways. Every single one of us.
So why's he your ex then?
It could be. But that depends on how we are able to handle it together. If we are able to work it out together and I know how to deal with him when he’s having those attacks or episodes. So I can help him overcome them.
Opinion
35Opinion
So, I have personal experience in dating people with BPD like these. One was 100% honest about it the other lived-in denial about it. I tried really hard in both relationships, but at the end of the day there extremely difunctional and toxic relationships. So, I know there are these don't blame the person but the disease types out there... and we all should be loving and caring tender-hearted people. But that's BS to me.
If you have never been in a relationship with someone like this then you honestly have no clue what you are in store for.
I just wanted to know, I loved how you worded your answer 😃👀
To me it's a big deal. It definitely came in the way of one of my relationships when I dated a girl with some issues.
The depression wasn't so bad but the anxiety was largely why we broke up.
I know it's mostly my fault because I'm a do-er, I don't understand anxiety, I don't get anxious unless maybe I'm watching a movie or a basketball is bouncing around the rim. Even if I did, I wouldn't know because it's pretty much a foreign concept to me.
So it was hard for me to be sympathetic to her sometimes like one time I needed her to pick me up from work because we only had one car. Well it started raining pretty heavy and it was getting dark so she was freaking out.
Mind you, she's driven in the pouring rain in the dark just fine a bunch of times. But I guess that's what it's like to have anxiety. As much as I wanted to have sympathy for her, I was broke, working 2 jobs and one of them was tied into a business I was an owner of. It was just making big problems.
I think all of the above disabilities are so common these days, just because people are beginning to open up about them. When I was younger, you didn't dare tell anyone you had anxiety or depression, people thought it was an excuse to sleep in and be "lazy". My daughter has anxiety, panic attacks and depression, and I try to help her cope/coexist with them. So my answer is, having any kind of mental health or disability is not a show stopper in my books. Love, makes us see things in a different light.
For me it is not a deal breaker if they are working on it and trying to be a healthy version of themselves. Through out my years of dating I have learned that it's much more important how a person treats you verses what challenges they may have to deal with. If the person treats me with respect, love, honesty, I'm attracted to them and is willing to do the work for our relationship I wouldn't hold that against them. Plus none of us are perfect in this world. All of us have something going on with us it can be physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, economically or something else.
Well said and very well put! I agree!
It's kind of a case by case basis but in my experience, "anxiety" is a grossly overused excuse, and most mental health problems are over-diagnosed and poorly treated exclusively through pills rather than any meaningful therapy, and so they'll constantly play the victim card. If that's not the case, then it's fine.
Physical disabilities are generally not a deal-breaker for me, and I've dated a few women who had some that were inconvenient (for them) but didn't really get in the way, and weren't factors in our breakups.
Generally no. The condition itself is not the deal breaker.
How they manage it (or don't/won't/can't) is the deal make or break.
I've got Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I manage it actively and thrive despite it. I expect whoever I date to have the same control over their health.
As long as she's willing to work on her issues, no it wouldn't. I learned at an early age, however, that if a person isn't self-motivated to solve their own problems, then there is no helping them. While the support from others helps make the work easier, you can't force somebody to change unless the motivation to do so starts within them.
I would hope not. Although it is personal preference. A lot of people have anxiety and anxiety can spring on at any point in someone’s life due to different circumstances.
All in all it depends on the person and what you want to put up with I think if you truly love someone those would not be dealbreakers.
a learning disability isn't really something you can change so that's definitely not a deal breaker, other things like anxiety or depression also wouldn't be a deal breaker unless the person isn't trying to overcome or help themselves, i've played a kind of therapist to friends and family before i don't want to be stuck doing that for a partner
The best answer I liked and I voted for has to be, depends. It depends on the way it is in the real world, much like I have my own real world flaws, like my phobia of heights, and I can be anxiety prone and aloof. But merrily. very merry about myself, it's the outside world that's the control freak joys 🥱🥱 no pressure I tell myself daily 😅😅😅 I love sweet sweat smiley emoji for this question 👍🏻😅😅🥱 and yawn
If I can be full of myself here for a second, I feel Voting C was honest out of all of them. Even Voting B seemed, like sugar coating 🤪😋
It would depend on the disability. I had a learning disability all through school. Never stop me from dating amd getting married. It would really depend on the the disability, the severity of it, and how they handle it and goe it effects our relationship.
It depends how bad it is and whether or not they have ever been institutionalized and/or have a history of domestic violence/disruption. It also depends if they are financially dependent on other people given their condition.
One of ex gfs had this issue and she got batshit psycho the more I got to know her. She was honest about her past and I tried to give her a chance. The ugly truth is that was a huge red flag I should of paid attention to.
It depends. If it's something treatable and/ or the person is, let's say, well medicated, abide by her treatment and wiling to improve her condition to the extend it is possible, it's not a deal breaker. It also depends on your tolerance on the issue. On the other hand, if it's something you find difficult to cope with, and/or the person is not willing to do her part on treating her condition, that can be hard to live with.
Panic attacks aren't really disability, 😀 sis-
I have a family with both mental and physical disorders. It's really tough and at times really toxic, to deal with them.
Good news is I don't wanna marry anyone. So I can be with whoever I want as long as it doesn't hit home too hard.
The learning disability is 100% not an issue, because I have one myself, so the the contrary, I think it's kind of hot and a bonus actually.
Definitely want to avoid depressed people, as I need to be surrounded with positive energy. I've dealt with depressed people before and no, just no.
The other two, I guess it depends on the severity, but I'd prefer not to.
Yes it’s a dealbreaker. I’m not gonna be putting up with some nutcase, special-case. Special-Needs Ass B-ch. 😑
I don’t have any of those issues myself why tf would I choose to stay with someone who does. What? So I can experience “THEIR HELL”? 🤡
Screw…
All…..
THAT….
When you put it that way, you sound like an ableist
@MrNameless
I don’t what ableist means.
But if I sound that way.. GOOD! 😈
If it gets in the way of her functioning like an adult and being able to have a fulfilling relationship, then yes. I ain't here to babysit a grown ass woman who doesn't know how to get her shit together.
I have Mild Cerbal Palsy and it was difficult for me to pay attention and learn in school like math was hard with numbers. I was diagnosed with social anxiety, depression as a teenager and the social anxiety did feel like a problem as I never felt comfortable talking with stuttering. As for dating someone with social anxiety, it would really depend if it was serve like panic attacks. I remember having those when I was younger like I was have a heart attack thinking and worrying a lot.
I have Schizophrenia and my partner has OCD, anxiety, and Bi-Polar. So, I can safely say that it isn't a problem for either of us. Who better to understand one another than two individuals with mental health issues.
It depends but there’s a few disabilities that are a deal breaker like sever narcissist BPD bipolar and schizophrenia.
Not a deal breaker.
However if symptoms of my partner's mental illness affected me too much I would dump him before any real feeling has a chance to develop. It's practically best solution for both.
If they have a major physical disability or depression then the most I could offer them is friendship. I am not bothered by minor physical disaabilities (like I had this one crush who lost his ring finger to a lawn-mower)
Occasional panic attacks, learning disability and anxiety is fine. But depression is a no
It really depends on what it is and the severity. Most mild things aren’t a big deal and can be worked around. Mental illness like severe depression, BPD, narcissism, victim mentality, etc. is always more trouble than it’s worth.
No, I wouldn't care about that unless it was so severe that in essence, I'd become a caretaker more so than a partner.
I want a woman that is capable of coping with life, which is the bare minimum.
Handicap no, Depression yes.
I had an ex who suffers from one and it is hell when it triggers. I really don't want to deal with it again, I'm sorry.
Certainly not a deal breaker. I could deal with someone who has any of those things.
Inspiring insight. Do you have any yourself, politely? 👍🏻
My boyfriend has ADHD and he manages it fine.
Can I ask a personal question about an aspect of that, please
Yes, i was falsely accused by someone with a panic disorder. The shit she put me through… i had to take her to court. Never again will i deal with someone with mental illness
No cause if you love them you love them for who they are. Plus if you can’t handle someone at their worst. They don’t deserve them at their best.
You seem very patient and understanding! I have Cerebral Palsy
I personally prefer dating psychotic serial murderers but I guess one of these other disorders would be okay for some variety.
😎
...
No because my boyfriend has anxiety and sometimes panic attacks but I always try my best to calm him down
By itself it is not a deal breaker. In my case, it depends what I want from the whole relationship, and whether this "disability" is making that, whatever it is, nigh-impossible.
As an ND, I am THAT person, but my issues should not prevent a good marriage with some adjustments. And I would say the same about anyone I might marry. Afterall, NO ONE is perfect!
It’s fine if they’re a good person I can easily communicate with. I want to be a partner that can work around such problems if need be.
No it's not deal breaker at all you adapt help support the person you love as they would do the same thing for you.
No I have autism so can’t really throw rocks in glass houses
@Anastacia1989 Honestly, I don't see myself dating a woman who has a disability or mental health problem because I intuitively know it's a recipe for heartache.
If she’s suffering from anxiety, I just tell her if she doesn’t stop being anxious, I will leave her immediately.
Problem: Solved.
This guy doesn't mess around right here, i was amused 👍👍👍🏻👍😅
I think so.. I have had some people with mental disorders and it's not fun. they have self pity
For all women it's a deal breaker if you're on the spectrum.
Depends on the disability if it’s something that I can deal with
The only disability that is a deal breaker is if she can't have kids because of it.
Obviously depends but mostly no.
No, not at all.
No. Definitely not a deal breaker.
It depends on how crazy she really is.
Definitely not a deal-breaker
Nope, that's a deal breaker.
I don't mind. It's fine
Nope.
Definitely
You can also add your opinion below!
