My sister in-law dumped her dog at my house and never came back for it. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Hi, my (27F) partners (33M) sister (30F) dumped her dog at my house last October and never came back, at first my partner and i fought about it. As i said “no, i dont want the dog here” and he said “oh i am trying to help my sister…”, it was a really bad fight that lasted for days (the longest weve ever fought). I just gave up, because i knew i wasn't going to win. As his whole family walks all over me and not one by one, they walk all over me at once. They expect me to take in their unwanted animals, if they dont want their kids for the night they are also dumped at my doorstep. I work all the time and never have time to relax, as they use my house as a daycare, doggy dumping centre and a rubbish dump.

I've tried countless of times to talk to my partner about all of this, but usually he lets his family continue to treat me like trash or just says “omg sthu”. This dog has been at my house for too long, i dont have time for it nor the love i give the pets that are MINE. So mostly the dog is neglected here, his dumpy sister comes over and acts like the dog isn't hers, but ours.

tonight i made a meal for me, my partner and his dad, i took the food down to his dads caravan (he was out for a few hours at the pub) and sat it on the table, i covered the food for him. The dog went missing and my partner couldnt find him, he gave up and i said “i took food down to your dads caravan. Are you sure he didn't go there?” He said “maybe. Ill check” he came back and said “yes, it did. Why did you take it down? Why would you do that? Are you stupid?” I said “you dad told me to and i did? How is it my fault? I didn't want the dog here in the beginning and yous all ignored me and told me to ‘shut up’ and its my fault?” I want to talk to him about the dog again (his currently gaming) but i dont know what to say, what do i say? I want the dog gone, we are always out of money, cause his dumpy sister doesn't help us and now we are stuck with the cursed thing. Im so exhausted 😩

[Anonymous]

Reading all this nonsense all I can think is "Poor dog."

(1) You're keeping their dog for six months and asking this question NOW?
(2) Your family "treats you like trash" but you think your problem is a dog?
(3) Unwanted kids and dogs are the same to you?

Next time someone dumps something on you, call child services or animal protection since you're neither have the mental bandwidth to handle your own life or want to deal with your family.

OR... move and change your number. The end.

[lightbulb27]

It's not the dogs fault, love the dog like your other ones.

You are getting no respect as they take advantage of you. it sounds and the family controls your husband and are dysfunctional. You work and I suspect, they don't or are addicts.

someone needs to look deeper into what is going on, why you married into this and how to right side it.

The dog in my view, can be turned loose... it's a dog, generally, they are fine and they can care for it and provide food, else it goes to another home.

there is a big problem with lack of homes for pets.

[Finchie40]

First off , get rid of the fucking dog and get rid of your boyfriend as well and tell your family you are not a fucking day care and not a fucking animal kettle. You need to take a step back and realize you are being used and manipulated. You need to put your foot down girl and put an end to all this shit. You are clearly being taken for granted by your boyfriend and your family big time.

[Asker]

Its not my family, its my boyfriends family. I dont have family around here, my boyfriend whinged and carried on like a banshee cause he wanted to move out of my hometown and move to this town, cause all of his friends and family was here (his family being his sisters and friends he never sees anyways). In the beginning of us moving here, we had no money i picked up a job straight away and was working endlessly to try and make ends meet, while he was on government assistance. He wanted me to pick up another job cause he couldnt afford to drink, smoke and gamble. I refused, i was already burnt out. His Uncle put in a word for him and got him a job (a job he never goes too, even 4 years later, he still struggles getting out of bed to attend his job). We lived in a small apartment during the time and during that time his family acted like we didn't exist, they never came near us.

[Asker]

A year ago now we moved into our first house (where we currently are) and ever since then my house has become their dumping ground, I've hosted Christmas twice here, the first time i hosted Christmas here his sisters trashed my kitchen so bad i told my boyfriend that i refuse them in my kitchen, as they trashed it and didn't bother to clean up after themselves, they left dirty used diapers in my bathroom and kids clothes everywhere and used my expensive soaps and hair products. Last Christmas i kicked them outside and said “no” to going inside my house. His sister (the dog dumper) wanted to host her birthday party at my house, never asked me only asked her dad, put my address on the internet and intended on having it as a open house. She came to speak to me about it and i said “i dont know these people and i dont want them here… sorry”. She was so rude over it and i said “its where im standing…. No, its my house and i dont know these people”. she's dumped her child here when she wanted to go out and chase this guy around the nightclub and more recently was her dog, my partner and i never had time to talk about the dog or even discuss it, it was at my house before i got home from work. So basically i had no choice… his family has also came to my house uninvited, no facebook message, not even a call. They just turned up and walked inside my house like they own the place, they did it one day, turned up, went through our house while my partner and i were out for lunch, brought their dogs over.. he was annoyed to say the least. I dragged him into the kitchen and said “a message doesn't hurt you know….” I've put these boundaries to him, cause its his family. But he never implies them to them. He lets them disrespect my boundaries and i get angry and its a argument between the both of us. Im waiting for the day he just snaps at them and goes off, since not only is it me getting the doormat treatment, but they treat him like one too

[AI Opinion]

Oh my goodness, love, that's quite a *ruff* situation you're in! 😅 Your main aim should be to establish boundaries without turning it into World War III. When your partner takes a break from gaming, you might want to have a calm heart-to-heart chat with him. Express how neglected both the dog and you feel, and how overburdened this situation leaves you. It's also important to let him know that this isn't just about the dog—it's about the way his family's treating your home and you like a convenient pit stop. Maybe suggest finding a loving forever home for the dog since you can't give him the attention he deserves. Keep it light but firm, and remind him that a team like yours is unbeatable without the extra baggage! Stay strong, you're totally fetch-ing! 😉

[AviatorTom]

The dog is the least of your issues. You are in a relationship that you don't want to be in. Do something about that. Stop blaming others and take care of yourself. Act like a respondible adult, not a bratty teen.

[chrissykerdock]

killing a dog isn't the answer

[Asker]

@chrissykerdock i dont want to kill the dog, im not that heartless, i just dont have the love for it, the time for it, the attention for it. Id rather rehome him, its something i keep saying to my boyfriend, but its falling on death ears. I've wanted to for so long to leave, move out away from these people. But every time my pay goes in from work and i buy food for this dog, pay my bills im broke again…. And again and again. I personally dont think im acting like a “bratty teen”. But okay

[chrissykerdock]

tom said that i don't think he's getting laid just accept it or ask someone who might want a nice dog that's trained i persume

[Asker]

I've asked a few friends, but they haven't the room. I dont really know anyone else, i might ask a few cousins if they would be interested in him. I did try to give him love, but really felt nothing. I felt sorry for him cause his previous owner was a…. Ya know. But thats all it really was, i work, go home and feed him and then i shower and go to bed. I am at work all day and by time its “home time” for me, its dark and can't walk him. The others here dont do anything, my boyfriend is glued to his pc, his father works out of town. When my bfs sister visits she shoos the dog away, kicks it, pushes it, swears at it. Ever responsibility around here falls on my head and when the dog does something naughty im the one getting reprimanded for it 😪

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you taken a few steps back and looked at the big picture?

[OneViewpoint]

Why are you still in this relationship with this trash family. Get some self respect and leave these people in the rearview mirror. They have learned they can use you. Your partner has said he's not gonna grow a spine. What other information do you need? Let them worry bout th dog. Personally, I would have taken fluffy for a ride and unsnapped his leash after a week of non-response from the owner. That would have left an impression on the parasites that they could understand.

[Asker]

On Christmas Day i felt like taking the dog back to her house and saying “Merry Christmas this is your present”. But i never got her anything for Christmas, my partner was pretty annoyed over it and i said “i can't afford it! Im funding HER dog, thats the present she needs”. I did end up working on Christmas day and my mom visited to drop off a gift she got me, a relative got me and my brother got me. My mom got me a figurine, my relative got me some kitchen stuff and my brother got me a little bag. My mom confined with me that his sister kicked the dog and said “f off” to it. I was shocked to say the least, then the dog went through my gifts and went to rip up my new bag. When i told this girl she said “so?”, even when my dad visited later that day he pressed her about the dog, like why is it here, who owns it, why doesn't she take it back, why doesn't she help with food, etc. she got really angry and ended up grabbing her kid and leaving. Im glad my dad said all that to her. I've never thought about dumping the dog, but I've really considered ringing the pound (since he isn’t microchipped to us, it won't be our problem) and then saying “i dont want him back”. But the day he got dropped off here, i said “no” to my partner while i was at work and the dog was here before i even got home, before my partner and i even talked it through, his tried to attack my cats through my back/front door and i can't even have them open (wooden door open, screen door closed) anymore.

I've thought about moving out and letting him root his sister and look after her kid, but by time i get paid from work, pay bills, buy food for the zoo here im broke again…. And again…. And again. My partner has said i should try and be friends with his sisters, but how they wipe their feet on me, id rather not. I've seen them do it to him and he just sits there and takes it like a baby, if my brother did this to me/us ofc id say something

[Communicationisking]

Definitely don't have a child with her is what you do

[Asker]

Tbh i dont know how she still has her kids, everyone else raises them while she runs around the nightclubs. Usually they get dumped at my doorstep and she does it on nights i have off, so i can't do what i wanna do. Im currently kid free and seeing how these brats act (he has 2 sisters that have kids) it definitely helps my choice on not having any. His suggested i try and be friends with them, I've never tried… well i did in the beginning, but I've gotten to the stage i hate them. They act like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths and my house is there's (at one point i was going to dish my rent onto them, since they wanted to act like my house is theirs). I have time for my brothers girlfriend, but just not my partners sisters…. Sometimes not my partner, with how he treats me 😔

[chrissykerdock]

congrats you have a new dog

[Asker]

I dont want it, i dont want to sound so cruel, i hate the fact i sound so cruel. But i established this in the beginning that i didn't want the dog and i heard the “oh its only for a week” storyline from him and her and its been since October and the dog is still here, im always broke cause im buying it food. When i ask her about it she gives me all the excuses under the sun, like would i be a AH if i rehomed the dog behind all of their backs? I can't give it the love i have for my cats, i dont have the love for it and i feel like a absolute AH 😔

[chrissykerdock]

learn to love him or her because it's now yours there's plenty of dumpsters go to a grocery store and dumpster dive there

[Asker]

I did try after the 2 month mark, but i really felt nothing, its not fair on him to give him nothing someone else would be happy to give him and thats all i want for him. Is to give him someone that will love him, walk him and make him happy. I can't

[chrissykerdock]

have you asked around people always want a dog

[Asker]

I have asked a few of my friends that have had dogs, but they can't. I might ask a few of my cousin’s. Im sure one of them would love one, since heaps of them have had dogs before and know what they are doing and have love for one