What do you think is worse: being cheated on and not knowing, or knowing and pretending you don’t?

Question

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

I think not knowing is the worst unfortunately though many people just don’t want to see it even when it’s become obvious. They also just want to forgive it because they just believe their excuses.

Cheating most of the time starts with someone being extremely careful and by the time you start catching on it’s probably become a habitual even chronic problem. They may hide it very well for a while but eventually it becomes harder to cover your tracks. Men and women (on average) cheat differently. Both have their for lack of a better term positives and negative’s. Meaning there is ways that makes it easier and harder to find out that balance one another out.

But people who stick their heads in the sand are only hurting themselves and especially their children worse by ignoring it. Cheating is something that can’t be ignored or it only gets worse. Especially when someone just sees you as a idiot who deserves it.

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

Not knowing is definitely worse. I would absolutely want to know and I would absolutely not pretend to be clueless.

Why do people look at cheating as a negative? Turn that frown around. You were just handed power over the transgressor. Demand a "Hall Pass". Go have some fun and let them fret about what you're doing without them. Let them experience what it's like. Let them worry about being replaced.

I would absolutely cash in my chips if someone handed me that on a silver platter. No way I'm not getting something of value out of it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Knowing but acting like you don’t. I remember when I caught my ex cheating I had to act normal until I could process everything and make the necessary arrangements before leaving him. It was so hard having to see his face everyday, acting normal and loving, still having sex with him pretending everything is okay while knowing he was seeing his ex behind my back too.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Being cheated on and not knowing can't be helped. You're the victim but aren't aware of the wrongdoing so you're not complicit in the activity.

KNOWING and ignoring it indicates that you're complicit on some level and are even OK with it, which no one should be...

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim here on Girls Ask Guys is to help folks navigate the wild world of relationships, so let's dive in! Both scenarios are like choosing between a rock and a hard place but knowing and pretending not to is like self-inflicted torture. Denial might seem like a strategy, but it eats away at you while pretending everything's sunshine and rainbows. Peace comes with honesty, even if it's painful. Ghosting the truth won't help you grow. 🌱 Being cheated on isn't a reflection of you, but pretending it didn't happen could make you lose sight of your worth. Stay true to yourself! 🌻

Finchie40 · Answer

Being cheated on and not knowing is the worse because you have no clue that your so called loving partner betrayed you and lying to your face pretending everything is ok between the both of you , leaving you blind sided , if you eventually find out the truth , it’s like a big slap in the face that your partner stayed with you all that time , lying to your face. You basically lose all respect for your partner immediately and kick yourself in the ass because you were clueless about it

ohsheeT · Answer

For mevits one thing being cheated on but what even worse is knowing that they are cheating and them coming home and pretending everything is fine is just great tellyou everything you want to hear know it's all a big lie because then you get to see the big picture on who they truly are

Simslover92 · Answer

Definitely knowing and pretending not to know. That will in the end mess with your mental health and you will probably have a mental breakdown and do something erratic and dangerous like either to them or yourself.

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

Not knowing is worse. There is no such thing as "pretending I don't know"

Manuelwe · Answer

When you cheat on a person. If you think they do not know. Well you are lying to yourself.
But it is how you find out. With most people the friends tell them. The number keeps is on private. Or rings and hangs up.
The perfume or lips stick on collar.

But the biggest reason is the sex. Touching and anger. Going out alone or worse, beating her up.

The worse cheat is the wife beater who does in front of her. But beats her up if she complains or try to leave him. She usually ends up dead and him in prison.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Probably knowing but pretending you don't, between those options.

But the absolute worst, the creme de la creme, would be knowing that you're getting cheated on, but not actually having the evidence to prove it and then having your partner deny it and trying to painfully obviously gaslight you like you don't have working eyes.

Your partner blatantly and openly having, or at least getting dangerously close to having an affair and they're acting like you're the asshole for being uncomfortable with it.

Cormac995 · Answer

As a rule of thumb 99% of cheaters deserve an Ass whoopin.

Rimaisme · Answer

Knowing being cheated on and still pretending, I can never do that

Miristheiss · Answer

I would never pretend I didn't know. I could never stay with them so this option doesn't pan out for me. They would disgust me. Being tricked and lied to for years would be awful. Cheated on and not knowing is the worst.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

They’re both bad. Best thing to do in either case is as soon as you find out you drop that person like a bag of bricks

MFlint · Answer

Finding out either way is a horrible experience and moving forward with a trusting relationship will likely never happen.

Knowing it and pretending you don't places the decision to leave the relationship in your hands. However, I know there are situations where someone cannot leave for let's say financial reasons, and you feel trapped in a world of hurt.

Not knowing leaves the emotions at the back door, which makes it much easier until you find out. However, that opens the door for other risks.

So, I'd rather know. That at least shines light on someone's infidelities and allows me the option to leave if I can.

Screenwriter · Answer

There is nothing wrong with having an arrangement with your spouse. Some people have open marriages. They know their husband has side chicks. They may have side boys. There is no need to pretend in this instance.

But pretending that nothing is happening appears to be unhealthy.
I'd say not knowing and finding out would be worse if you thought you had a good marriage and thought both of you were happy..

Jove79 · Answer

Why pretend that you don’t know.. I’d have fun exposing the cheater FAST. It’s worst not knowing.. because you can waste years with a person who cheated, when you could have broken up early on, and moved on.

MrChinaski · Answer

Just dump the guy as soon as you can. I'm all for multiple relationships in whatever form that takes based on mutual trust and transparency. Lying, concealing, cheating is not cool.

itsannalee · Answer

Pretending you don’t. Actually both are bad, but if you want to cheat at least do it well. So u won’t hurt me.

Eempriyanka · Answer

I don't consider sex with someone you like or want as cheating.. coz Im like that as well and I put myself in their shoes

IslaTheWitch · Answer

not knowing is better... until you learn what happened... I couldn't pretend... I don't know how...

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

I mean…. lol, these situations are not really comparable. I agree with @stevesmith1985 . Not knowing sucks for obvious reasons. Pretending that you don’t know is not an actual thing. There are people who know, but stay with them anyway. That’s not exactly “pretending you don’t know.” That’s called having no self respect.

lyrem04 · Answer

Not knowing. Bc if you know and you pretend you don’t, then you’re a willing victim 🤷🏾‍♀️

exitseven · Answer

I could never pretend that I did not know. I would be out of there so fast it would make her head spin.

Sunrising · Answer

Probably better being in an open relationship, then it doesn't matter.

LiamJHayden · Answer

knowing and pretending. That shows a lack of self-respect. Not knowing would just mean that she is good at hiding it and/or I am missing the signs.

Oldschool1981 · Answer

I'm not a stickler either way. My wife sometimes has sex with other guys and it's really no big deal so long as she doesn't get pregnant.

thegreenyogi · Answer

I think both are equally worse.

lilBigPotato · Answer

Well, those are very different situations. If you don't know that obviously sucks. If you know but decide to not do anything about it... The big question is why? Depending on the answer the outcome changes a lot

Anonymous · Answer

Knowing and pretending you don't. Where's your balls? Where's your self respect. That's just about as pathetic as it gets.

Kelly6 · Answer

@liaraven knowing is worst while acting as not

Anonymous · Answer

Fuck that. I would never pretend like I didn’t know.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Knowing and having to pretend…. I hated it

Nikki1989 · Answer

Pretending you don't.

wynn-ing · Answer

I think pretending to knownis sadder but not knowing is a gutting notion.

Professor-college · Answer

I think it would have to be worst not knowing and they're finding out in the worst possible manner

NathanDavis · Answer

both are bad... cheating is cheating

Unap0logetic_ · Answer

Knowing and pretending that you don’t know, but it depends on the circumstances for me.

Jay-_- · Answer

the first one, for sure.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Not knowing because they put you at serious risk health wise.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel that not knowing I being cheated on is worse than knowing I am being cheated on. First step to solve a problem is to become aware of the problem.

serious · Answer

Being cheated on and not knowing.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Its worse knowing cause if you don't know then your oblivious to it but if you know you feel it every second of every day

EmmaMary · Answer

Both are as bad as each other.

PrincessC16 · Answer

Knowing is more painful.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Not knowing if you ask me. Just when you everything is great, all of a sudden….

slatyb · Answer

Knowing and pretending you don't.

alice55 · Answer

being cheated on and not knowing,

allan997 · Answer

Knowing because… you know!

Staximus · Answer

Knowing and pretending for sure

Anonymous · Answer

The first one is much worse.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Pretending you do not know!

Anonymous · Answer

I think both is equally bad.

Lilly1979 · Answer

It can get you sick.

What do you think is worse: being cheated on and not knowing, or knowing and pretending you don’t?

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What do you think is worse: being cheated on and not knowing, or knowing and pretending you don’t?

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