What do you think is worse, getting cheated on or never being in a relationship?

[JSmuve]

Do you think it's worse to be in a relationship and then get cheated on or to never be able to get into a relationship in the first place? Why?

Getting cheated on is worse

Never being in a relationship is worse

Updates

1 y

Interesting results so far. More women think getting cheated on is worse by a factor of 3:1, while guys are more evenly split. I wonder if this has anything to do with personal biases (people who have been cheated on will say being cheated on is worse while people who've never been in a relationship will say that's worse). That'd explain the gender differences because there's typically more perpetually single men on here than women.

[JaxiCats]

Getting cheated on makes it hard to trust again. An ex cheated on me and then I got into a relationship afterwards which was kinda a rebound (at this point I’ve never had sex) and then we broke up cuz he didn’t know what he wanted and then I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend in the second semester of junior year. I still find it hard to fully trust him with my emotions and stuff. He had also been cheated on but I don’t know if that affected him for as long as it’s affecting me

[Anonymous]

i'm surprised at the poll results. i chose never being in a relationship is worse. relationships offer a lot of good, even if you did get cheated on. you learn and you grow, it helps you able to communicate your feelings, it helps you find out what you do and don't like... etc

[Ευδεμονια]

I sincerely think, as one that has never been in a relationship, that cheating is some of the most evil things can be done to a person. Cheating means ruining the trust and the loyalty that other person have towards you… it’s something I consider nearby to a crime.
I personally suffer from never have been in a relationship but one of the things that block me is the fear to be cheated on. This is something I consider unacceptable and only thinking about it makes me feel destroyed.

[AviatorTom]

Never having a relationship is worse.

If you've never been in a relationship, you've never enjoyed the intimacy and companionship of a partner. If you're being cheated on, at least you have enjoyed your partner's intimacy and companionship. Plus, cheating may not mean the end of a relationship... look at Bill and Hillary.

[Anonymous]

This is a tough call. I’m about 99% sure an ex girlfriend from a few years ago cheated on me right before she broke up with me. We had problems and I wasn’t surprised she wanted to break up. But at the time I fully trusted her not to do something that stupid.

Anyway I expected a “sad breakup” and we would still have a degree of respect for each other after it was done. But I was wrong. Very wrong.

She treated me like I was less than human when we broke up. Some of the things she said to me afterwards still haunt me today occasionally.

For the longest time I rationalized to myself “well she’s a woman and they say stupid things when they are upset.” But there were hints something else happened at the time which I chalked up to paranoia. Then one day it dawned on me what happened: she cheated and to make herself feel better she had to see me as a complete scumbag.

I have had women do and say plenty of shitty things to me over the years. But what she did was on another level. She knew me very well and knew god damn well how much damage she did. But she did it anyway to protect her precious ego. And never looked back or apologized.

Now prior to breaking up we had some very good times as well. In fact it was some of the best times of my life. But the question is if it would of been better if I never knew her vs. dating and later enduring what she did is a very tough question.

[Lifelive96]

Getting cheated on is worse I think. Because you feel very disappointed and you need time to get over this. But if you are not in relationship you can dream and hope for it, because you are not disappointed. But in the first one, you lose your hope, happiness etc.

[JSmuve]

But can you not be disappointed by being the only person you know incapable of getting into a relationship?

[Lifelive96]

I think it is easier to get used to deficiency of something if you are not know How it feels like before. But if you tried it and got disappointed you would lose your hope and feel the pain. For example, if i have a child and then he/she dies it is the Worst pain that i can ever have. But if i can not be a mother it is a pain too but not worse than losing my child.. i think like this.

[Ill_made_Knight]

The thing is getting cheated on is gonna hurt, no two ways about it but hopefully you learned a little something? Still maybe not.
But never being in a relationship? Some people are wired to be OK with that I guess, but you're building a lifelong legacy of regret. There will always be that sniggling little voice.
I wonder how it would have been if...

[JSmuve]

True! Getting cheated on is like getting hit by a bus, emotionally. But regret is death by 1000 paper cuts.

[Vixen835]

Personally... you can't miss what you never had. If you've never been in a relationship, you have that idealised vision of what it could be like and although you might feel sad for not being in a relationship, you (should) have other areas of your life which fulfill you.

Once you've been cheated on, all the trust in future partners is compromised, you feel wary, all the positive feelings become second guessed and there's constant doubt within yourself. Being cheated on butchers your inner being.

I'd rather never be loved than be betrayed like that

[petitedollbabee]

Fully agree with your comment

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Some like Nikola Tesla and Sir Isaac Newton didn’t want a relationship, but I am different from them. I would rather have my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner cheat on me and then find a true faithful one than not even have a chance. Lose little to gain big.

[Losalt]

I'm poly.
I'm okay with sharing a girl, although her doing so *without* my consent, with someone I don't feel comfortable with etc (cheating in the polyfidelity sense) hurts a lot.
All in all having a good life with good experiences with someone is worth occasionally having your heart broken.

[Anonymous]

It’s better to be a virgin forever than to be cheated on by someone you trusted and loved. Imagine having someone you thought would die for you actually kill you themselves. Ultimate betrayal and you will forever be scarred. It’s no big deal if you never loved them. But I think the pain is worse than a close family member dying. The crazy thing is, they will never be truly sorry, just sorry they were caught.

[Vixen835]

So very true

[menina]

I would say is getting cheated on. It's shocking, sad and it can also be humiliating. Whereas never being able to in a relationship can be good for some people. I mean, some people don't mind.

[Anonymous]

Never being in a relationship is definitely worse. You've got to take SOME step forward. The guy/girl who's been cheated on at least learned SOMETHING about relationships and dating and can use that to do better in the future. The no-relationship person is still stuck at zero.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Being cheated on, ruins it for the future. Try trusting someone again in the future. Rather than never being in a relationship and wanting one, now you want one but can't trust anyone.

[RedStiletto88]

Being cheated on by far. You love someone and find out they didn’t feel the same way and worse weren’t man enough to tell you instead sleeping behind your back

[Drumlin2001]

I imagine being cheated on is terrible. But as someone who was single till 35, I can say life sucked. When my first relationship ended it hurt (no cheating but some extenuating circumstances), but I took a lot of positives from it.

[soulhunter]

Never being with someone is a blessing over being cheated on. Not having someone can in no way compare to the gut wrenching pain and feeling of betrayal when cheated on. There's no other pain like it and it sticks with you forever.. No matter how much you tell yourself you're over it that doesn't negate the fact that you have been fundamentally changed at your core.

[LaureenVO]

Never being in a relationship, because you can get over someone who cheated on you

[Anonymous]

I never cared about being in a relationship. I don't even want the one I have, I just want her. Ok that didn't make any sense, but if she cheated on me that would suck a whole lot worse than if we never met

[MJstheman23]

Tough one, I'm on the it's better to have loved and lost, then not to have loved at all.

[itsalyssaagain]

Getting cheated on is 100000000 times worse, believe me lol.

[Googlemyahoo]

I was cheated on but then she’d return saying she still loved me. I was upset for awhile when it dawned on me. What kind of person treats someone they supposedly love that way? A sociopath. I got over it very quickly.

[Harryst89]

You can still be happy alone, you can do a lot and meet tons of new people. Being cheated, can throw you down to a point you don't want to raise up again.

[Chazmatazz269]

This is like asking if it’s better to starve to death or be poisoned. Either way, you’re going to die.