How do you forgive someone who shattered your sense of worth?

Question

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Depending who we are the belief is love yourself. And you can and should for give whom ever hurt you.. but thevonky way to do this and truly forgive.

There are the reason they said they did what they did and then there's the truth. And you can't truly forgive that person until your hear all the truth. And to be honest. What eve was done to you. Will only hurt if it was true..

Or it will hurt because the Person that did this, . you know now, it how they truly feel about you

So in order for you to forgive. You have to know all the the truth

You need answers first.
That why they say it takes time to forgive

But fore what ever the reasons it was done for

is what you will. Be forgiveing them for

And if it was premeditated that's just might be something that's hard to do
maybe in time And the pain that they put you through If it was a lie if it was.
Unnecessary it hurt. Do they feel bad? Do they feel guilty? Is that why they want you to forgive them you don't have to forgive right away.

You will feel that pain forever that heartache

If you can forgive them them whatever they said or did. Then that gives them a free pass of their emotions. We're doing what ever is was

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

Someone shattering my sense of worth, debatable as to what happened there exactly, especially without any context. I've seen my sense of worth being shattered but I can't attribute blame easily, as to who did what? Me, them, combined?

I don't remember forgiving consciously, yet it happened, after some time. Why did it happen? I know we all step in relationships with more or less personal balance, I guess I also reflected upon intents to harm. Bottom line, I didn't find that intent, harm was just the outcome?

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Why would you empower someone to the point that they can shatter your self-worth? Come on...

Having "developed" early on, I was mocked by the guys in school, especially in gym class. I was self-conscious ALL the time and thought I was fat or abnormal in some way... but I was just about 3-6 months "early" on the developmental chart. One of the older guys from a class or two ahead of us saw me moping in the school yard with my hands over my chest and explained to me that guys do that bc they're not sure what else to do... but look at all the girls in HIS year... the guys just didn't have any choice but to accept that this is how the girls were going to be from now on so they calmed tf down. I didn't QUITE know what he meant at the time, but his words helped me figure out that there's no reason to give any guy enough power over me to define my self worth.

Can a guy still hurt my feelings? Sure. And that's why walking away and "no contact" were invented. Just walk away and stop talking to this jerk. Clearly he's a prize-winning idiot.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Your sense of worth isn't shattered by someone else, but yourself.
My self esteem is rock bottom, only because I've allowed people get to me.

Yes, there's nuances to it, but at the end of the day it comes down to the knowledge that no one but you determines how you feel about or deal with something.
That's not one else's responsibility.

So forgiving isn't what you do for them, but for yourself.
You forgive someone, because you realise your sense of worth was never determined by them anyway—you're more than pettiness and bitterness.

Summeroflove · Answer

It takes time but eventually you’ll move on from that person people who intentionally tear others down are people who really don’t like themselves so yo make someone else feel as shitty as they do makes them feel better.

HawkPerception · Answer

You don't. You simply move on and find your self worth again. You should never let your self worth be jeopardized in the the first place.

Finchie40 · Answer

You don’t , you just move on and forget they even existed in your life , why would you want to forgive someone that did that to you in the first place?

princeofromance · Answer

It is often hard to forgive the ones who have hurt us. However, through forgiving them we heal ourselves and are able to move forward.

Anonymous · Answer

Hurt/angry people will often hurt other people. Not an excuse. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But it’s human psychology and it happens. We are all capable of saying something horrible in the heat of the moment.

With that said I’ve had people particularly a specific ex who talked to me like I was less than human at the end. It was unnecessary and malicious. Completely unexpected.

She did it to give herself affirmation that she was making the right decision. I also strongly suspect she did it to placate her guilt (very suspicious she cheated on me a week before we broke up).

But at the end of the day there is nothing I can do about she said to me. I can make a choice to believe her heinous words or realize she said that out of selfish conceit and self absorption.

That’s extremely difficult to do given I once fully trusted her and loved her very much. I wanted more then any thing to hear her say “I made a huge mistake talking to you like that. I was upset and I didn’t mean it”.

But I have to accept that day will never come.

NathanDavis · Answer

I want to imagine that I would do it for myself... how? no idea

but I always forgive, mostly to heal and help myself

resentment always hurts more to the one that harbors it... and, I don't want none of that, however... it would take a whole lot to shatter my sense of self, so I don't even want to imagine what would it take to be able to do such thing or how I would even start to deal with it...

Anonymous · Answer

Why would you need to?

I would only forgive them for MY sake. Because unless you forgive them you can't move on from them. I forgave a woman from my past that tore my world apart. She still wants to be a part of my life. But it's only to reopen a wound and gain control of me. I know this now. I've forgiven her because I've since found my peace and she is still just as unhappy and toxic. I forgave her for what she did to me. And I have moved on. I wish her the best now. I pray that she finds peace.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Forgiveness is about your peace of mind, not necessarily about the other person's redemption.

DJB72 · Answer

You don't forgive for them. You forgive for you. Carrying unforgiveness in your heart doesn't hurt the other person. It just eats you up inside.

Start by saying it to yourself. You never have to tell them. Forgiveness doesn't create relationship.

Angelo75 · Answer

Just understand that they simply don't know better. They've reached their intellectual capabilities of actually understanding what they did.

It's somewhat like when a wasp stings you. It doesn't know any better. Your skin will hurt, but you'll just move on.

Agape93 · Answer

You don't, they don't deserve it and you deserve enough self respect to not abide the stupid notion of forgiveness making you feel better.

Grond21 · Answer

It takes a long time. You need to get your worth back. Realize it was never in their hands and should never be defined by another human. Those who love us influence it and always will, but not to the level of being able to shatter it. And then release them from the bonds of justice that they owe you. Let them be in the past and no longer have any chains over your spirit. God said that vengeance is his, so let him take care of them.

Shiprex · Answer

It's not forgive but forget that you should do. Forgiving means they aren't burdened with the guilt (or fear of reprisals) so they go on doing it to others

nawtee_me · Answer

By remembering that forgiving does not mean forgetting. Forgiving also is for you and not for them. It allows you to heal without the anger that otherwise would come every time their name is mentioned or a memory is triggered. Forgiveness is for your mental health and wellbeing.
Besides, holding resentments is like you drinking poison and hoping they die from it. Most of the time they don’t even know you resentments them.

bobalife · Answer

I'm curious too. Let me know when you find how.

Jay-_- · Answer

Ill forgive them and forget em, I've let go of the people I loved the most it gets easier, let them believe what they want, their lies about you doesn't define who you really are.

Smegskull · Answer

How does someone else effect your sense of worth?
If my boss told me my work achievements weren't real, they had just been given out in pity I suppose it would lower my sense of worth. That would be bringing it more in line with reality though so I don't see how that is a bad thing...

Caroline91 · Answer

Sometimes, I have to start by forgiving myself. A lot of things in life take two people to effectuate. I think this may well be in that category. It's harder I think to forgive myself than to forgive someone else. But, for me, that's often the key.

bowenw · Answer

Probably just move on and not worry about forgiving them.

adventurous-1 · Answer

I don't, they are probably toxic and not truly interested in me or my well-being, Just using me for their personal needs regardless of how their attitude impacts my sense of self worth. If more information was presented than I may have had a different response but I working with what I got. I need to protect myself from abusive people and their disregard/disrespect of my feelings and their treatment of me. Its called self preservation, self love, and recognizing my self worth.

katiesmuff · Answer

Guess it would take a very special person to be able to accomplish that!

MrChinaski · Answer

OMG. This is so hard to answer.  All I have to offer is the question: Did he or she ask for your forgiveness? If no, then leave. If yes it's still going to be a long and winding road.

slatyb · Answer

You don't have to forgive everyone. If you have been in a traumatic relationship, consider talking it over with a professional counselor.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

From my experience? Ya don't. They'd probably only do it again anyway. And if you wronged them in any way, big or small, they wouldn't forgive you either.

AliceVJones · Answer

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Anonymous · Answer

If they don't deserve forgiving, then never shall I forgive. Just like how I am towards the man who is called my father.. husband of my mother.

Jove79 · Answer

Give it time, and change your lifestyle.. do different things.. different hobby, meet new people, it’ll help take your mind off of it, and you’ll find happiness again elsewhere

aceleon · Answer

You don't, you just crushing them in every way you have the guts to.

Cormac995 · Answer

Normally you just don't and cut them out of your life. That's what I did. No regrets.

Sluttt · Answer

i used to revenge. But it all comes down to sex. I can fuck anyone i want so it doesn't mattse

Ferngully2000 · Answer

No I wouldn’t. Things shouldn’t be that hard, if they have shattered your value, then they were not meant to be.

Chelsdope0 · Answer

Still figuring that out… I just pour myself into hobby’s

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I dont let anyone effect my sense of worth. Thats something I decide.

exitseven · Answer

You don;t. You use your anger to rebuild your life. There is no room for forgiveness

LiamJHayden · Answer

I can't imagine anyone being able to do so, but if one tried I'd forgive and forget. Forget that the person exists.

MysticDevice · Answer

I don't know. But I know that sometimes people don't deserve forgiveness.

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

It's the difference between forgiving and forgetting You can always forgive, but, generally you never forget

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I don't I forgive but I never forget. I won't ever let that person back into my life

serious · Answer

I don't. I never do.

OddBeMe · Answer

Can't. You either can forget it or you can't

K8tie2001 · Answer

Then we are done with relationship or friendship.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

You let go by focusing on yourself

ABC1x1x · Answer

If someone else could shatter your sendlse of worth, you never had any at all to begin with.

Jennz6 · Answer

I wouldn’t forgive him

Anonymous · Answer

I'm usually a very forgiving person, but sometimes it's not easy.

Gayuglycowardv3 · Answer

You forgive yourself for even thinking you deserve to have a sense of worth\pride

Jupiter1 · Answer

I wouldn’t if I’m you.

MemeSupreme · Answer

trying to figure that out myself

Entertained_Adult · Answer

Take trenbolone and bang twink sissies.

Flower7 · Answer

Why forgive them?

Professor-college · Answer

I don't think I would forgive something like that

blackeagle007 · Answer

Nope. It just can’t happen

JesseP1nk · Answer

Why do you feel you have to forgive him?

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

You don't

alice55 · Answer

You don’t

Anonymous · Answer

Didn't bother forgiving them

Staximus · Answer

Why bother?

aptalbaliq8 · Answer

dont forgive

eagle1951 · Answer

i don't

How do you forgive someone who shattered your sense of worth?

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How do you forgive someone who shattered your sense of worth?

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