Can you be in love with 2 people at once?

[Anonymous]

I think I'm still in love with my ex although I also love the new guy I am dating. I just texted him that I missed him and he texted me back that he missed me as well.

I'm not a cheater (at least not physically) but I can't help but feel emotionally still attached to him. So I know I am emotionally cheating.

I feel like an awful person. I shouldn't have gotten into a new relationship without really fully getting over my ex. I thought I was over him but I guess I'm not.

The new guy is everything I could have dreamed of. He has all the qualities that my ex lacked and yet here I am still hung up over the guy.

What should I do?

[serious]

No, it is not possible to be in love with 2 people at the same time. However, it is possible to be in love with one person while having a strong attraction (physical/personality) towards another person.

Attraction is just a part of love but love itself is a deeper concept so one cannot be in love with 2 people at the same time.

[serious]

Thanks for the MHO

[Asker]

You're welcome

[Crankor]

No you cannot. You can love more than one but not be in love with more than one. If you insist that you can, well I'm interested to know your definition of such is

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love triangles can be quite the rollercoaster, can't they? 🎢 It's totally possible to have feelings for more than one person at once, like trying to choose between chocolate and ice cream—they're both amazing in their own ways! But emotional attachment to your past can cloud your present. Reflect on your needs and desires, and communicate openly. Being honest with yourself and others can help you untangle this web of love before it turns into a spider's nest of confusion. 🕸️ Go for what's true in your heart, gorgeous! 🌟

[Finchie40]

If you haven’t been with the new guy long enough, then you are probably best to go back to your ex , if you miss him that much and your ex wants you back as well. Just be honest and upfront with the. Ew guy that it isn’t fair to him that you still have these feelings for your ex and that you should have never got into another relationship like you did. Tell the new guy he deserves better , someone that can love him the way he deserves to be loved he is going to be hurt but more than likely he will understand ,

[Asker]

Ok thank you

[ohsheeT]

You can be I. Love with 5 people at a time it would be very easy to do

and if that's how Society was today. That's what we would be doing because we are all followers.

Well not All of us, but you know what I mean.

I mean that's the way the people in the world is heading

All it takes is some times with a person. and you would fall in love with them

Want to do and experiment 30 days 30 mint a day. And after the 30 days. Your next question will be can you be in love with 3 people at one time

[SteveSmith1985]

Break up with the new guy? How are you unsure about this. You realize it's not right. You realize you shouldn't have started something new. Ok... so then end it with the new guy. He wouldn't want to be with you if he knew how you felt. You are deceiving him. Its wrong. This is a very clear one. There is one answer. Anything else is really wrong, and unless you're just going to resign yourself to being a terrible person, you need to break up with this guy.

[Asker]

I was overwhelmed. To be honest I've never had someone treat me as good as he has. I resorted back to my ex because it was a familiar response. But I realize I don't feel that way about him anymore. I made a mistake but I do really care and love the new guy. I don't love my ex anymore. Last night gave me great clarity on that. My therapist would probably tell me that. I don't feel like I deserve love tbh. This new guy is doing things that my ex would never do. It's scary and I feel like I deserve less. So I did what felt natural in the moment but it wasn't how I truly felt. I hope you can understand where I am coming from.

[SteveSmith1985]

I actually do understand where you're coming from. I just have one question for you: Will you cut all contact with your ex?

[Asker]

I think I need to. We hardly talk anymore so it's not like it will be hard to completely cut him off.

[SteveSmith1985]

You 100% need to. If your reply to what I said isn't complete bullshit, then you absolutely have to cut him off completely. Regardless of how hard it is. If you still have any contact whatsoever with your ex, then you need to break up with the new guy.

You will have to choose which of them you will keep in your life.

[Asker]

Then I will do so as hard as it's going to be because I don't want to mess things up with the new guy. My therapist said I should have cut him off long ago especially with the drunk calling he does every now and then with me which is just inappropriate. I will just have to block him.

[SteveSmith1985]

I am glad to her you say that. I know nothing about either of these guys. However, if your therapist is telling you that him being in your life has a negative impact on you... I think the new guy is the right choice. I am impressed by your willingness to do the right thing, eventhough its hard. I think you are doing what you need to do, in order to allow the possibility of this new relationship flourishing. You're a good person. Guys want girls who would handle this situation exactly as you're going to handle it. You should inform your ex, that you are blocking him. Do not get into a discussion about it. It's your decision, and you've chosen. There's nothing to discuss. But you should inform him that this is what you're doing.

[Asker]

Ok I will do just that. It's again not going to be easy but it must be done.

[SteveSmith1985]

That's how I know you're a good person. It is always easier to be a bad person. It takes guts to be a good person. You have guts. You didn't waiver at all. You aren't saying you can't. You aren't making excuses for why its actually ok to keep him in your life. You didn't say "I barely talk to him anyway, so It'll be fine."

Lastly, you didn't say "I'll just block him. He only drunk-calls me occasionally anyway."

You're going to do the right thing by him as well... and let him know (which is not an easy or pleasant conversation, on top of it being hard to actually do the blocking part).

For someone I know almost nothing about: I am impressed by what I do know about you. I hope this new guy is a good guy, who is equally willing to do-right-by-you. He's got himself a good woman. I hope things work out for you two.

[Asker]

Thank you. I appreciate you for saying that.

[SteveSmith1985]

I mean it. You're worthy of love. In my opinion, this situation/question is actually a perfect litmus test of exactly that. Are you someone who is worthy of love (insofar as you're going to do-right by the guy you're with, and therefore are worthy of his love).

Make sure he treats you properly. Don't accept anything less. That's the other half of the equation. Treat him right, but demand the same from him.

[Asker]

Ok I will definitely do that!

[AviatorTom]

Of course it's possible to love two people at the same time. Even more than two.

I love my wife, my three kids and my dog.

Love is an emotion that we cannot control. But we can control how we deal with it.

[Cormac995]

Serious has a great take, but I would add that Ex's are Ex's for a reason. It's normal to grieve a relationship and take a while to get over it but at the same time if you're struggling the fact, you say things like "He has all the qualities my ex lacked." Tells me this new guy meets your emotional needs better than your ex and that's very, very important and a very, very big deal. I think the right thing to do in this situation is accept that your ex is your ex and it's going to hurt for a while and focus on your relationship with this guy.

Normally it's a bad idea but sometimes relationships can be genuinely healing and in time your feelings for your ex will fade and your feelings with your new guy grow stronger. Just remember to spend lots of time and attention together and communicate about your needs with each other openly. A good guy will respect honesty even if it upsets him. I wouldn't recommend telling him about these feelings though it could make him feel bumbed out or lesser just do what you say you do and don't be a cheater and with time this will sort itself out.

[Asker]

Ok thank you!

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's possible. The heart expands. Loyalty is a choice. Love, often, is not.

It sounds as though you love your current boyfriend, but for whatever reasons, not enough to feel fulfilled in the relationship. Maybe it's because of things your current boyfriend doesn't have or isn't, or maybe it's because you have unresolved feelings for the ex, or the relationship was unresolved, or the ending did not resolve or give one or both of you closure. Feeling that you made mistakes, or that one or both of you did not live up to your potential, or feeling guilt, etc. etc., are all examples of valid reasons that make it difficult to move on. You are allowed to have regret. That's human. What you do about it, is something only you can decide. And it may be a decision that you reflect on, later in your life, so do your best to reason your way through it, so that even if you ultimately decide it wasn't the best or right decision, at least you can remember that you did your best to make it.

[Asker]

Wow thank you so much for this amazing advice. You have given probably the best answer on here. I wish I could have made you MHO but again thank you so much.

[Opinion Owner]

Aww, you're welcome. 🙏

[PeachyPie93]

No.. you can like 2 people at the same time but not love them because if you actually truly loved your new guy you would have forgotten 'old boy'. That fact you are still hung up on him means you don't love the guy you are with. You probably care about him and the fact he is a better guy than the last one makes you want to be with him. But that isn't love.

[Asker]

I will say this. I have issues. I have anxious/avoidant attachment style issues. I think I just am scared to be treated good but I do love the new guy. I am over my ex. After thinking it over last night, I realize it was just a moment of uncertainty because I don't feel I deserve to be loved. I don't love him anymore tbh. I think it's just familiarity but that's not love. Love is being with someone who lights up my life and makes me feel good in ways my ex never did. I just need to get used to being treated right and good.

[PeachyPie93]

I can understand that.. since I have very similar issues. I just think you should take your time. Love doesn't need to be rushed, just ease into it. And just because you still have feelings for old boy (which you defo still do) since you aren't gonna get over it in one night. That doesn't mean you can't grow to love your new guy. Just take it slowly. I feel you over think things way too much and rush decisions but when you do that it often leads us on to the wrong paths. Love takes time to grow, so take that time and I'm sure you will forget about old boy once you really fall in love.

[Asker]

You're so right. Thank you. I will take it slow and ease into it like you said.

[Caroline91]

I do think it's possible. However, if it's acted on, it can lead to a whole lot of heartbreak. So, make your choice and stick with it. If you are actively involved with both, you are being unfair to both of them. Once you make your choice, let the other one go from your mind and heart and give yourself completely to your relationship.

[Shiprex]

It's hypergamy you're projecting. If you believe in love then you're trying to pick an choose traits between different people and have a harem of "providers" to satisfy your desires. Maturity and respect will be something that you need to work on IF that's the lifestyle you want as in COMMITMENT to a person for marriage.

[Makeushiver]

@Shiprex Or maybe she wants to have an exciting menage a trois

[Shiprex]

@Makeushiver Seems like she's after a guy for each day of the week

[Makeushiver]

Seems reasonable

[EzraIsShy76028]

I mean, emotionally and mentally speaking you can, but it's best to not act on those urges. Not unless it's a rare situation where all three people are into polyamorous relationships. But most people are not, so don't get your hopes up.

[strateguy632]

Impossible because love is loyalty, and feeling: you want to be together with the one you love... when with one, you wish with other? That is lust after many but that is not love nor caring affection!

[RageBabe]

Cheating emotionally is just as terrible and unfair to your new partner; you need to stop.

[Asker]

I know. I feel like a terrible human being. I will stop.

[Makeushiver]

Don't ever stop or start anything based on any opinions you read here. Keep on fucking and enjoy it

[beenherebefore]

Never happened to me and I highly doubt I would ever be in such situation. You can be in love with someone and attracted to another but that’s not being in love with two people.

[Nikki1989]

Of course. You can love many people at the same time. You just love in different ways for different people.

[Ironic_Method]

Hilarious that people think love is somehow limited to one person. You can absolutely love more than one person. It's not healthy to foster it if you're in a monogamous relationship, though.

[WonderingManII]

I think you can build up a connection between more than one person. Once it is in you, it might take forever to get it out of you. Maybe never.

[Asker]

That's true. I think it's just hard to get him out of my system but I need to kill it.

[bddddd]

Loving them both is a viable option. It will require a lot of work on your part and complete transparency and honesty. Google polyamory.

[Asker]

Neither one would go for that

[bddddd]

Nobody goes for anything until you ask.

[bddddd]

I have been in love with three people at once. The larger the number, the harder you need to work. But there isn't a reason you could not love 10 people at once.

[RingOfFire]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/w1F5BLLFAeM

...

[DrPepper12]

Yes. Who says you have to be exclusive? Take it slow with both

[Asker]

Oh ok thanks

[exitseven]

I think that you could convince yourself that you are.

[Jay-_-]

You are in love with 1 and strongly attracted to the other which ever is the one you feel you can't live without is the one you love.

[Oldschool1981]

Sure, my wife has a boyfriend that she's been dating for quite a while.

[Yohenis]

😂😂😂 am so sorry this question made chuckle hard. You're wasting your ex (Aka Chad) and the new guy's life.

[Godihateyou]

Shit yeah. Hell. Those are rookie numbers. Love like 4 or 8

[Bklynbadboy12]

Sure you can it's a sucky situation to be in but you can

[Panthero80]

Attracted to two people at once? yes. In love? No,

[Professor-college]

I've never been in love like that but I'm sure it's possible

[Anonymous]

I know a girl, she is in love with two guys

[Anonymous]

No. And anyone that says "yes", is a pervert.

[ProbablyClueless]

As far as I can tell; no.

[BarryLiverstone]

How long have you dated the new guy?

[Asker]

About a month

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s only been 4 weeks (or 3). Put on your big girl pants and tell the new guy that you made a mistake and didn’t have full emotional closure from your ex. It will not be something he wants to hear but better to be honest now than continue to cheat on him and then months from now the breakup becomes even worse.

[BarryLiverstone]

Also be sure to do some self assessments on why you missed your ex and what the new guy lacks., because while you still may be in love with your ex, I suspect had the new guy had some of the qualities your ex had you may not miss them.

[Asker]

Ok thank you.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. I hope it helps. I have another theory but will leave it there

[Danny_dan92]

You need to decide what you want

[blackeagle007]

What does your heart tell you?

[Asker]

The new guy

[blackeagle007]

There ya go. Follow it.

[Asker]

I definitely will. Thanks.

[QuestionObsession]

Even with more than 2, it is called Polyamoury.

[RedInnocent69]

Easily. I have a lot of love to give

[Kelly6]

Yes you can be in love with 2 people

[Anonymous]

Nope. That's NOT love.

[Anonymous]

Maybe some people can, but not me.

[Eempriyanka]

No.. true love only comes with one person

[Eempriyanka]

It could also be with more people

[lyrem04]

simple answer.. no

[Anonymous]

Slutty love is also love

[jahaims]

Nope

[Sluttt]

No i can't

[driven159]

love has no limits

[naughtyarcpl]

Nope not truly