Do you give your significant other the passcode to your phone?

[Danny_dan92]

On the receiving end, would you think this is a good or bad thing?

I do

I don’t

[Anonymous]

When I was in love and thought he loved me too, Yes I did.
now we are still together but he hurt me a lot and I don’t feel the same connection so I don’t let him see my stuff. I’m not hiding anything or cheating, just don’t feel he has anything to do in my stuff.
info could find someone else I would, but around my age most guys are already taken or don’t take women like me seriously so I just stay here with him even when I lost all enthusiasm and trust. I also don’t care what he has in his phone either. He also won’t leave the relationship because he’s too lazy to try. I can see he wants it to be like before and watch my stuff and me watch his but I lost all interest in that. I just want to be with someone, sadly it’s not all lovely how I wanted it to be. How we started.

[alice55]

I never had a boyfriend but I would give him the code if he want, my phone don't even close though cause the button is broken so even if I refused to give him the code he could easily assess to it.

[michalpl00]

I would too

[alice55]

@michalpl00 It's good, it show trust and having nothing to hide :)

[michalpl00]

Agreed 👍

[Anonymous]

yes, don't want secrets in intimate relationships that can fester into other trust issues or worse.

How about this, weekly we stand on stage in accountability groups and review what we did with our phones and if that's true to the contract/values we strive for.

[Phoenix98]

I'm a private person by nature and I don't like or appreciate people snooping around my stuff so probably not no.

Plus if someone is trying to get into my phone that's kinda a pretty clear sign they are insecure and untrusting kinda red flags.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the infamous phone passcode debate! In the world of love and trust, sharing a passcode can mean transparency and openness. It shows, "I trust you enough, what you see is what you get." But, on the flip side, it could become a double-edged sword if it leads to unwarranted snooping. As a relationship coach, I'd say it should be more about trust and communication than the digits to your phone. Trust should be an open book, not confined to a passcode! 😄📱❤️

[OlderAndWiser]

She has never asked for it and I have never asked for her code, but I would give it to her if she asked.

[bddddd]

When did oversharing become a thing? Seriously, you are adults, right? Behave like adults.

[OlderAndWiser]

@bddddd Thanks for the lecture and the condescending remark, but you should stick with topics that you actually understand.

[Babebytheshore85]

It's probably @jshm2 he has been writing these troll remarks on every post 🤣. He's been doing it all week. I'm surprised he hasn't been deleted or frozen yet

[OlderAndWiser]

@Babebytheshore85 Thanks for the alert.

[Babebytheshore85]

He's left condescending comments exactly like this under post. and many others. I just delete him

[AviatorTom]

My wife sometimes uses my phone, and I give her the PIN. She never remembers it.

[Lilibet]

It’s not a big deal to have each other passwords etc, but snooping around is not fair and a sign of insecurity. Sometimes I used my partner phone but I never went through his messages etc. I have nothing to hide so I wouldn’t mind but it would bother me if he would go through my phone just to check if I’m doing something or not

[Danny_dan92]

We share the same mindset. Essentially giving your passcode to your S/O does two things.

1. It shows to your partner that you have nothing to hide.

2. That being said, if they still snoop through your phone. It not only means they’re insecure but they also are bad at will power… which is often what leads people to give in to temptation.

[Lilibet]

And from experience, the ones that they think you have something to hide, they are hiding something themselves. My ex checked my photos all my messages. I never did it even tho I had many occasions. I think it’s just disrespectful

[Danny_dan92]

Yep. I woke up once with my ex going through my phone. Turns out she was fucking her sister’s husband.

[Tarifa]

Sure. She has the password to my phone and I know the password to hers. She can read all my messages if she wants to. I don't know if she would, but I have nothing to hide.

[Babygirl_S]

Sure if he can be trusted to not misuse that. Some partners may have a tendency to post repulsive things on your behalf ruining your reputation. Others may financially abuse you. I know a thug who stole my money. He has a lot more than me but steals mine like an effeminate man he is.

[WhitneySnow]

No and I don’t have the passcode to his. But I trust him and I’m pretty sure he trusts me too.

[Cormac995]

I think it's a good thing but it should go both ways and only if it goes both ways. If only one of you has to do that it's a massive red flag. If both of you agree I see that as a big sign of trust and transparency.

[Agape93]

Yeap, I don't have anything to hide so idgaf what they see

[Agape93]

Shit the most interesting things on there are random shit I found in the woods, and this.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I don't have a password on my phone due to it just being easier & in case of emergencies. It doesn't mean a future partner should look through it, though.

[Kelley1]

That is not relevant. I don't passcode my phone.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

No girlfriend ever asked me, which makes sense because I would not understand her incentive. Plus such a request sounds fishy so I don't think she would be all right asking anyway

[sawno]

No I wouldn't, I'm an IT geek so security is important to me and I expect her to understand that. If she wants access she could ask with me looking over her shoulder what she's doing.

[Aubrey97]

Don't even have a code on my phone. He can see it anytime. There's nothing on there I need to hide.

[Babebytheshore85]

I dont understand the point of doing that? To me that would indicate trust issues. I don't feel there's a need to do that.

[Danny_dan92]

Think about it from this standpoint. You give your passcode you have nothing to hide

[Babebytheshore85]

He's insecure and controlling then. I wouldn't be with him

[Danny_dan92]

Interesting.

[Joshydavid25]

I think that there's a big difference between your SO going through your phone of trust issues, and you giving your pass code because you trust them and have nothing to hide..

[Babebytheshore85]

@Joshydavid25 is a trust and control issue because why would he need it? Lol, what's the intent?

[Joshydavid25]

It's more like, would you volunteer your pass code, because you have nothing to hide..

[Danny_dan92]

I think you don’t see the point that is being made… if you genuinely had nothing to hide you wouldn’t be reluctant to give your passcode to your phone to your S/O

For an example, my last ex had my passcode, but I didn’t have hers.

She was cheating on me with her sister’s husband where as I wasn’t and she always accused me of cheating

[Babebytheshore85]

@Joshydavid25 what normal couples are sitting around discussing passcodes? No and he didn't say volunteer.

[Danny_dan92]

It’s kind of the same thing with law enforcement. When cops pull people over, it’s always the ones that have a warrant for their arrest that make a run for it. The people that have no criminal records and history never run from the cops. Or hardly ever.

[Babebytheshore85]

@Danny_dan92 that's a trust and control issue. If you need someone's passcode to trust them then the relationships is already doomed.

[Babebytheshore85]

@Danny_dan92 on top of that there are things my friends and family tell me in confidence about their personal life that I do not share. Got forbid he sees that or any personal matters related to my patient that would be a breach. So no.

[Danny_dan92]

So you’d keep things secret from your boyfriend or even husband?

[Danny_dan92]

Oh wait, you’re a psychologist. My bad, I read that wrong. Makes sense

[Joshydavid25]

Well, it's honestly more about how close & open you two are and how much you trust each other rather than "Oh, why would he need my pass code in the first place".. It's more about would YOU give it up.. Whether or not he asked for it.. What if he needed to get inside your phone? Would you give it to him without hesitation..

[Danny_dan92]

That’s a fair point. Such as what if something happens to you and he needs to contact your siblings and parents.

[Joshydavid25]

Yep, exactly..

[Babebytheshore85]

Yeah cause what if you and that person break up yet they have personal information on your friends, family and work from your passcode? God forbid the break up is messy and they sabotage your relationships by telling these people @Joshydavid25 and @Danny_dan92. But again I do feel that's a control and trust issue because why would he ask or need my passcode? I would never do that to him and if I have that urge then we shouldn't be together.

[Danny_dan92]

That’s a fair point as well.

[Joshydavid25]

I don't think they would get all of that from having your pass code.. But that's why I mentioned trust.. Why would get with somebody you don't trust enough to give something as simple as your pass code to.. Also somebody that you see yourself having a real future with instead of breaking up.. The question seems to be more about you than the other person..

[Danny_dan92]

I could see it from this perspective.

It’s no secret that insecure people go through their partners phone. So if your partner has your passcode, and you catch them snooping through your phone, then that says a lot about them.

So basically you set the stage to see the person’s true colors. So if they have your passcode but never snoop through your phone, then that means they trust you

[Babebytheshore85]

@Joshydavid25 I said "NO"

[Joshydavid25]

😂😂😂... Hey, that's between you and whoever you are with/will get with.. I was just trying to bring another opinion to the matter..

[Anonymous]

Me and my partner at times have to use eachothers phones so we both know eachothers pass codes. The way we see it is that if you have nothing to hide then you should be able to let your partner know your password / pass code.

[itsannalee]

I did give but he keeps forget about it and still asks every time he wants to open my phone.

[Jessikaah91]

He knows my passcodes for my phone, he never just goes through it anyway. But nothing to hide here

[Chayce]

This is a good question. While there should be trust in the relationship, if I'm subjected to some random phone check every so often it's not gonna work out.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I used to with my ex until he started blocking my friends but I’m single now and I don’t think I’m gonna give any man that until he’s my husband

[Awesomesauce2005]

We volunteered it to each other with neither of us asking so yes

[Quigly]

I don't have a smartphone, it's an invasion of your privacy. This question is just more proof phone culture is all about invading your privacy. The best thing to do is get rid of your Smartphone. It's for Dumbasses.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Yeah Me and my husband us each other's phones all the time if ours isn't around lol

[LazerBean]

Sure. I know a lot of my husband's passwords for various things, and he knows mine.

[Fireguy17]

I don't have a passcode on my phone, she doesn't have one either.
If she wants to look at it I really don't care.

[fish5505_87]

My wife knows my code, I now hers, however, she is always annoyed when I pick up her phone, vent by, mistake? She is always looking at mine! I have nothing to hide, lol!

[MysteriousDarkness]

One person could say if you need my passcode then you don't trust me. The otherperson could say if you won't give your passcode then you have something negative to hide.

[slatyb]

We're two different people and we don't share phones.

[the_lee1982]

I don't give her direct access to my phone. However, if she would like to look in it, I'll open it for her. I have nothing to hide.

[michalpl00]

In a relationship their is no privacy. If you want privacy, congratulations you just became single!


Have my phone, I am a loyal person. Check what you want when you want.

[Evamee]

I don't have a boyfriend now but I don't care. I have nothing to hide.

[exitseven]

yes, I gave her all my passwords in case I die.

[loveyouoak]

The phone passcode is private. No one should give their phone passcode to anyone else.

[BDRick]

Yes I do, as does she; The thing is, we understand not to go into each other’s phones so it’s pointless to have

[LiamJHayden]

My work phone, no. My personal phone I leave unlocked.

[blackeagle007]

Nope. My purpose in life is not to manage insecurity

[Charliefretz329]

Yes but it involves trust.


Neither of us remembers the passcodes though lol.

[7Phoenix7]

Yeah... he's significant for a reason lol.

[EmmaMary]

Absolutely... Just as I have my husband's.

[laraWM]

No 😅

[Danny_dan92]

Uh. Someone has secrets

[laraWM]

Also I don't have his code

[Danny_dan92]

Damn. 2 for one special

[laraWM]

But I don't care I'm not going to look in his phone anyway 😅

[Danny_dan92]

Sounds like a plan. Confidence is a bliss

[laraWM]

True

[Danny_dan92]

Typically the person snooping is the one doing the cheating… in most cases at least

[laraWM]

I guess it makes sense

[Danny_dan92]

It does. I experienced it

[Ironic_Method]

Yeah, she has all my passwords.

[MemeSupreme]

if there's a good reason then yeah

[Joshydavid25]

I would no problem.. Why the hell not..

[Panthero80]

I don't have either.

[Jove79]

If I had one, I won’t give her my pass code ever.

[Godihateyou]

Thtats retarded. Then she'd know i cheat

[Thot_Stomper]

Oh lord no

[bddddd]

Why do that?