How can someone genuinely love someone if they are serial cheaters and say horrible things about their partner behind their back?

Question

The way some people talk about their girlfriends and boyfriends behind their back makes me SICK… Not everyone obviously. Sometimes even saying these things to the people they’re cheating with… But they then claim they love their girlfriend. Love their boyfriend. Love their wife. Love their husband. Love their fiancé…. How? How could you love them and treat them so disgustingly when they aren’t around.

Normal people leave relationships they aren’t happy with.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Your last sentence is the lynchpin! " NORMAL PEOPLE " do leave bad relationships. Also, people who aren't LAZY. There are relationship ruts. People in bad relationships who DO NOT LEAVE are getting something of value from the "bad" relationship. They'll complain to no end, but never change their situation. Isn't this every tale of a married man who cheats on his wife, but will never divorce her? Despite lying to the woman he's cheating with that he  WILL  leave in order to keep  THAT  person on the hook. Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. Sir Walter Scott.

Luv2BRealExotic13 · Accepted Answer

Key word “normal” people leave. Usually they are emotionally healthy, have self-worth, healthy boundaries. People that don’t have these things are usually people that don’t think highly of themselves continue this vicious cycle. Trying to fill a void they need to fix themselves otherwise they’re projecting their insecurities. If they’re cheating then so is my partner even if they aren’t they want a reason to fight and be reaffirmed in their self belief of their low self-worth.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help untangle the wild jungle of relationships, one love story at a time! Now, buckle up, because we're diving into some spicy relationship dynamics! 😏

Serial cheaters often confuse love with the thrill of novelty and excitement. They might say they love their partner but are typically feeding their own insecurities or thrill-seeking behaviors. Love should be all about respect, trust, and communication. When someone's out there whispering sweet nothings to side flings while badmouthing their main squeeze, they're dealing with some serious self-awareness gaps or emotional immaturity. 🕵️‍♂️ If you're witnessing this, know it's a blazing red flag and nothing close to genuine love. They're in need of a hefty dose of introspection, or maybe they just love… chaos! 😜

Finchie40 · Answer

Because they don’t truly love their partner period, especially if they are cheating on them , they just love the convenience of them , they can be in a relationship all by themselves because all they care about is themselves and what they can benefit from their partner period, They are users not lovers , They don’t know how to love anyone else but themselves , if their partner finds out they were cheating on them , the cheater will not tell the truth , they will sugarcoat it every which way they can unless they no longer want to be with their partner , then they will end it , otherwise they will continue blowing smoke up their partners’ ass. Unfortunately cheating occurs more than we like to think it does , why so many marriages and relationships don’t last the long haul.

princeofromance · Answer

Unfortunately, these kinds of infidelities happen every single day.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

They can't... it's just not love.

My relationships (and life in general) got a lot simpler when I understood that people are their partners' representatives to the public. If you're bad mouthing someone to other people, even if they aren't your lover, you're showing that that's how you want other people to view them.

How could anyone love another person, but then tell people to disrespect them? When I think about people treating my future wife with disrespect, it makes me mad. I don't think I've even met her yet, but it bothers me because I recognize that the way they're treating her is a statement about how they're treating me.

That's my wife. She's my representative.

worldscolide · Answer

Short answer is they can't.

Cheaters no matter the bullshit they say, aren't capable of anything resembling love. They love only them selves. They are monsters, and exist without empathy, without a soul. It's sickening that they claim to love the person they cheat on. It's sickening when they claim "I never meant to hurt you".

Last person that cheated on me got escorted from my home, naked, at gun point after I caught her riding some guy in my own bed. The one before that got recordings of her fucking some other guy played live at our "engagement" party in front of all of her friends and family. When it comes to cheaters I go scorched earth.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I think they love something about their partner but don't love the person completely..

My dad was a serial cheater so much so that by the time I was a teenager it was just a joke we would all laugh about. When my mom knew my dad absolutely did cheat he would just have to buy her something a bit expensive like a new washer/dryer set, a new car, etc.. and she would forgive him. We would also hear from other people he was saying he was gonna leave her and shit like that. He did end up leaving her for a hoe when I was 17 and he is now miserable and says he still loves my mom. He tried to ask for my mom back a few years ago but she said no for obvious reasons lol. So who knows what the heck goes through their heads. I suppose they think the grass is greener somewhere else and everyone will love them.

RavVid · Answer

They don't.

Women do complain about men behind their back but I have never known a man to.

If a person is a serial cheater than clearly they don't love their partner. Quite obviously they don't VALUE their partner because they are doing something that will end the relationship if it is discovered.

As you say the cheater has to be a pretty nasty person.

Nikki1989 · Answer

The biggest culprits are married men. All the men I work with are married and most talk crap about their wives. I never hear any backstabbing from the married women I know.

Caroline91 · Answer

You can't because love and respect are so closely tied to each other.

strateguy632 · Answer

In general people can't love those, but you mean to ask about the partner, they are more scared of loneliness, but do not love.  Others can still "care" about them if you know them well.

Fruitcrush34 · Answer

Love is love even if you figure out your boyfriend is speaking bad about you but still you can’t stop loving him is the reason that you are attached to him and the only person who supports you is the one who has hurt you❤️‍🩹

Anonymous · Answer

You can't.

Most the world is in the turmoil it is in people people have very toxic and twisted view of what love is. Most people today do not love anyone. Because love is selfless. What most people mean when they say they love somebody today is they mean they love the attention they get from that person. What they think of that person only pertains to them, not that person.

NicholasRedone · Answer

I often find as I told someone else here in commentary - anyone with an ego can over-milk the whole "trust things" - everyone can be a hypocrite aka a hypo lol 😂😆 🐷🐷🐖

Vegasrunner · Answer

If you're cheating you probably don't love your partner. It's important to remember that if a woman has sex w/ another man that's cheating and if a man provides for another woman that's cheating.

jahaims · Answer

Cheaters can't experience love. They are too broken.

BDRick · Answer

Because love is not just one thing, it’s different for everyone individually. Some people think they’re in love, but haven’t a clue what it really is; some people think they can fall in love sooner than later because the world is telling them so

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

Some people believe it's "wrong" to get divorced. Mainly christians, and republicans who are literally trying to illegalize no fault divorce

exitseven · Answer

I had an uncle who was a cop. He used to say that the sadists always find the masochists.

Jove79 · Answer

There’s loads of disgusting people like that. Stay single, that’s all I have to say.

WonderingManII · Answer

I think they got strong feelings for each other, but not love.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Some people just like to talk, bitch, whatever! I would argue most of what you hear is B. S. anyway. Most of us are all great bullshitters!

Sal_Monella · Answer

They are lucky not to be shot. It's called a crime of passion. 86Karen.

Anonymous · Answer

I think their feelings are more like passion, but not so much real love.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

1001% I completely agree.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I agree with you

SotiCoto · Answer

Mental illness. Probably.

Reina04 · Answer

Cause they think they have magical parts.

lyrem04 · Answer

They can’t.

How can someone genuinely love someone if they are serial cheaters and say horrible things about their partner behind their back?

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