Can you truly love a person but still end up cheating on them?

[Anonymous]

I have been both the cheater and the one that was cheated on. When I cheated, it was because I no longer loved my ex but was too much of a coward to end it. When I got cheated on, he claimed to have never loved anyone as much as he loved me, he admitted that he had abandonment and attachment issues. Also that he never loved the girl he cheated with, he was just using her to fulfill his selfish desires…

I understand that some people are simply non-monogamous even though they crave monogamy. But can you personally really be in love with your partner but still cheat on them and still only have love for them?

[Summeroflove]

It depends but what I am glad about with you is the fact you can see what you did wrong, have remorse, and learned from it in both situations. A lot of people double down on their past actions and refuse to see their own wrong doing which is the choice that they make but that’s another story.

I will say that cheating comes down to a persons choices. If they aren’t happy then they should break it off as well as self control. In some cases I do think someone loves another person but they are tempted by someone else. A lot of times it starts as a curiosity. What if I could have this person? What would it be like if I was with this person? And the list goes on.

Then it becomes a fantasy people think just thinking about it isn’t doing any harm. Until that fantasy isn’t enough anymore and they have this burning curiosity and/or a opportunity presents itself at the rigjt place and right time. So they act on it then they feel horrible. But then they need more and more… Eventually they start resenting their partner.

Other times yes it’s because they don’t love their partner either anymore or never did. Some people are in transactional relationships where they don’t have any sort of genuine romantic or really any other kind of connection. Maybe they have sex but that’s all they got going for them. So they get bored…. People who use people for material things, social status, and things of that nature are the BIGGEST cheaters. Even if someone can provide everything and is the best option in the world. They will get bored and crave more sex from other people. For both men and women…..

People who aren’t capable of building a genuine connection will cheat probably 100s of times. But I will say a lot of times that’s a progression these people have just degraded and broken themselves to the state they are in.

I will say that nobody is perfect but good people feel remorse, guilt, shame, regret, etc. There are people who don’t and they keep doubling down and acting like they are the victim. That they can do it because XYZ but when someone does it to them it’s another story.

[ohsheeT]

I honestly think anything is possible I mean you could absolutely love him somebody else could come into your life and you could absolutely love them and then somebody else and you can love them nobody says anything about who you are as a human being and your passion and the love that you carry or you would feel towards anybody I could see a man or a woman loving five people at a time why couldn't that happen I could see that happening very very easily


But I mean when you commit to one you got to stay with the one you can't just because you love all the other ones but I mean do you know what I mean

I think in relationships there becomes a point to where the road splits and you either take one path together or you both go on your separate ways but you're still living together you're trying to figure it all out and you kind of hope that road goes back together so you can both walk down the same road

but there's things that happened that kind of keep you drifted apart and angry or feeling like you're not loved

And you're being treated different there's issues
and that doesn't mean that you fell out of love it just means that there's issues that need to be worked on or fixed or talked about

but if you get to the point where you don't even want to talk to each other
and then somebody starts talking to you and they give you empathy
and one thing leads to another to another and you do something stupid
it doesn't mean that you actually fell out of love with the first guy
it just means you guys didn't work on things together you kind of just did your own thing with your own ways for a moment

that's where things happen
I think when that happens you need to realize it and you you need to walk up to the person say hey we need to talk about this

and explain how much you love each other and what you think you need to do to fix it
I don't think that just because somebody cheated means that they fell at love
I don't think that at all
I think in some cases yes it's very very easy but not in all cases I think there was just a mistake made it is a pretty costly mistake

but like I said I think it would be so easy to fall in love with five people all at one time or you know what I mean LOL

But I can guarantee you if there has been relationships where a person has cheated and they split and that person that cheated regressive for the rest of their life because they still love the first person they were with and maybe some get back together or probably a lot more don't

[Nikki1989]

When emotional needs are not being met, anyone is capable of cheating. That doesn't mean you should do it. Love and sex are not as connected as some people want to believe.

[Asker]

Weirdly enough, when I got cheated on, he admitted that I fulfill all of his needs but he just needed to confirm his own feelings for me (by cheating lol)

[_Andromeda_]

I guess you could technically care about them or love something about them, but I don't think you can do that to someone and 'truly love' or respect them as a person.

[Asker]

Very well said! I feel like genuine love usually comes hand in hand with commitment and loyalty

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm here to sprinkle a little wisdom in! Cheating isn’t always about lack of love; it's often about unmet needs or self-sabotage sneaking into play. Yep, you can love someone and still cheat, especially if unresolved issues like attachment fears rear their mischievous heads. 😅 It’s all about facing those red flags within and communicating openly. Monogamy doesn’t just demand love—it also demands commitment and understanding. Love should never wear a blindfold, honey! Keep growing and learning, darling ❤️🌟

[Asker]

This is helpful, thanks AI Brad

[OlderAndWiser]

1. First, you need to define love. Some people say that love is a feeling that makes you want to devote the rest of your life to the one and only object of your love. With that definition, anyone who cheats, a priori, does not love their partner.

2. Even if the cheater loves their partner. . . so what? The victim doesn't owe you another chance just because you profess your love. By itself, love is not enough to sustain a relationship. It also requires lust, trust, and respect. When you cheated, you demonstrated a lack of respect for your partner. And after your partner learns of your cheating, they no longer trust you. So, even if what you feel is really love, it's still not enough.

[Asker]

Well said! Love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship, it takes commitment, trust and transparency as well - once it’s gone then it’ll be hard to continue on with the relationship

[OlderAndWiser]

Over 54 years of dating, relationships, and marriage, I have never once cheated on a partner, but I had two partners cheat on me. My thoughts on the subject are very well defined.

[razelove]

Yeah, it's possible, but not likely. Like women can get men easily, but generally because of how much they have to filter out the men they do sleep with, it's highly unlikely they're going to sleep with guys they don't feel something for. Even if that something is excitement they don't get from their partner or something.

For men it's more that it's unlikely that a guy will have those easy opportunities as much. A guy is more likely to be able to have sex with no emotions, but less likely to achieve it by and large.

[HawkPerception]

No you cannot. If they were willing to cheat on you, it means they did not value the relationship with you enough and decided it was worth the risk of you potentially finding out and being extremely emotionally hurt to be intimate with someone else. It is a conscious decision that they make knowing full well that it's wrong.

Don't let AI tell you otherwise.

[Finchie40]

Nope , the cheater only loves themselves , they don’t know how to love someone else but themselves. Cheating is a selfish act making them a selfish person. Just because you feel like you love and care about someone , it doesn’t mean you have to be with that someone , because if you truly loved them. You wouldn’t be cheating on them period.

[MrPiercedD]

It depends. From psychological point of view guys and girls are different. If girls cheats - it's a pretty much "game over" about any feelings. If a guy cheats, it's not a "game over". So, technically, guys can truly love a person and still end up cheating.
The real question is, why the guy did cheated on you:
a) he is complete idiot
b) he wasn't getting at home what he needed - usually it's still guys fault because they are too afraid (or shy) to express their desires
In some cases they say what they want but girl doesn't want to do it (let's say sex 3x a day or sometimes roadhead or when he asks you to dress really slutty).
If he needs to have sex 3x a day but is getting 1x a week then sooner or later he will find some other girl (s) - don't be surprised about that.

[asarjam]

Non-monogamy is more available these days, but that's still a relationship operating on consent. You often hurt the person you love the most because you are closest and most intimate with them. It CAN happen - you TRULY love that person but cave in to temptation. The bigger question is always what comes next...

[molonski2]

Yeah easily really , just focus on the person you are cheating with , as really good fun , its just overall enjoyment. don't focus on the person you are cheating on , just focus on the fun time , it doesn't have to change your feeling for the person you actually love , separate the two , its not difficult.

[Anonymous]

If I was going to cheat, I could definitely do it with someone I don't have feelings for and still only have feelings for the one girl I love.

Men are better at separating feelings from sex. And they are more programmed by nature to have many sexual partners. So it is harder for them not to cheat.

[Asker]

That’s what I thought as well, I don’t I’ll ever be able to understand it though

[Opinion Owner]

Natural instincts are hard to understand because none of us is wired the same way as the opposite gender. Our brains are different and thinking leads to different conclusions.

It's like trying to understand why my favorite color is blue and yours is pink. There is no logic to it, it's instinct.

[Asker]

Yep I can see your point. But what about if the guy cheated on his partner emotionally and not physically? My last relationship, our sex life was so amazing but he still cheated with an old ex because he wanted to be sure of his love/feelings for me, then he went on to claim that he loved me and didn’t have any feelings for his ex even while cheating. I can’t seem to understand that logic

[Opinion Owner]

"but he still cheated with an old ex because he wanted to be sure of his love/feelings for me,"

How did you determine that the reason he "emotionally cheated" on you was because he wanted to be sure of his love/feelings for you? That's what he told you?

Doesn't seem likely to me. There could be another reason he didn't want to tell you or maybe he doesn't even know the reason himself and just made that up.

I think we all have moments (both men and women) when we drift apart some and think maybe we are with the wrong person and wonder if we made the right choice to one degree or another. Could be an argument, or just a period of not feeling as close as we have at other times. That's when we tend to think about doing things to find what we think is missing... then after we try it, we may come to our senses again.

[Asker]

Yep he told me, because after that he immediately proposed to me since he realized that he does want to spend forever with me. We weren’t having any arguments, still had sex 4-5x a week, still very loving and sweet towards each other. He even started talking about marriage. Then apparently he told me his ex reached out. He started having cold feet with me I guess and so started talking and going out with his ex again. I left him after but he’s still chasing me up until now. I guess some people just get too comfortable in the relationship to really appreciate what they have.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry to hear that. Puts you in a tough spot. Have you decided if you want him back?

[Flower7]

Only if it only happens ONCE. One time and one time only. If it’s a regular occurrence during the relationship, there's no love there.

[Asker]

That makes sense! What about if it was strictly an emotional affair?

[KrakenAttackin]

No. If you genuinely love someone you are able to control cheating urges.

[Asker]

@KrakenAttackin my thoughts as well… I don’t see how you can love a person and hurt them at the same time

[FreyaRed]

In my definition of love, nope. When you cheat, you are willing to take the risk of losing your partner, if you love someone you don't want lose that person.

[KrakenAttackin]

I think some cheaters like the comfort of having someone solid to run back to after they cheat. This is a very fucked up personality trait.

[Asker]

True, they want to go out, have their fun but still be able to return to their security/comfortable relationship once they’re done. Selfish

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I don't think so, for me.. or do I just have a strong integrity? When you truly love someone, you'd never want to see them cry.

[Danny_dan92]

You tell me if telling someone “I love you” is genuine. If you’re over here sleeping with another person or other people? I don't know. Personally I don’t see that being the reality

[midnightmoon05]

The answer is no.
you also answered your own question.

[itsannalee]

If you cheat on your partner, it means you don’t love him.


You just love yourself!

[Staximus]

Telling somebody who you cheated on that you still love them is basically saying "I don't love you enough to care about your feelings"

[Oldschool1981]

I once dated an active prostitute, so I could easily stay with a cheater.. For me, it isn't even close to being a deal breaker

[Anonymous]

It's possible. Doesn't mean you should stay with them, though.

[Asker]

True! They still took you for granted even if they truly loved you

[Anonymous]

Me and my girlfriend are Poly. She is Bi-sexual so she sleeps around with other women and I just sleep around with other women.

[Nerdvana]

Yes, it just means you love yourself more than the other person

[Anonymous]

Nope. You can say it all you like. But the act confirms you don't love them.

[Anonymous]

Not in my opinion

[Asker]

I agree. I don’t understand how someone can truly be in love with their partner but still going behind their back, knowing full well that they’re hurting their partner by cheating

[PeachyPie93]

Personally I don't think so..

[RageBabe]

I don’t believe so.

[Graptemys79]

I don't see how.

[janessaangelinna]

i say yes cause temptation be a bitch

[DtMe89]

Smart women wouldn't

[Anonymous]

Only if you allow yourself

[CarolinaGirl5]

No he doesn't love u get over it

[CarolinaGirl5]

You've asked this question multiple times

[douride2]

Nope.

[Crazzyyworld]

Men r dumb ass fuck

[Crazzyyworld]

And women r keep on conning on all men $$$

[QuietRunner]

yes you can