Can you cheat on someone and still love them?

Question

What do y'all think? Can you cheat on some one once or more than once and still love the person you're with?

ak666 · Accepted Answer

To me "absolutely" but I should distinguish kinds of love. Everyone loves and falls in love a different way. That's not to condone cheating in any way.

For me, when I'm madly in a romantic kind of love with a girl, my sexual desire aligns entirely to her. Even celebrities don't seem attractive at that point, my mind only wants her and no one else.

That feeling doesn't last forever for me. It tends to fade after some years, and left behind can be a more endearing kind of love like that of someone you want to grow old with -- still the one and only, but that burning lust that obsesses over her is replaced by something a bit more gentle.

At that point it seems possible to have that kind of love for someone and still have sex with someone else without losing that love. It's not madly in love but I doubt anyone really stays in that zone forever.

As a case in point, take a couple where one or the two partners is crippled and unable to have sex. If the other cheats but still comes back home to take care of his/her partner all the time, I could believe that an endearing kind of love is still there. It might be more similar to the kind of love for a family member instead of someone of immense sexual/romantic desire, but I don't see the heart as exclusive in this way.

Mild_Freddy · Accepted Answer

Yes, the human brain is incredibly complicated and as such the billions of owners are just as. The resulting behaviours expressed in relationships are more so.

The fact the person can't own their behaviours and talk about an open relationship with their partner probably just means they're weak.

Most frequent cause is that you love them but aren't getting what you need sexually so you go outside to get that snippet while retaining them in your life.

At that point it comes to one course of action - talk about it. Talk with your partner what you need sexually (whether other partners or sex acts to scratch that itch).

To cheat is to deceive and what ever way you spin it, it's selfish and hence wrong. So bring them into the picture - you never know, you might get to have your cake and eat it too.

Don't let society label what a relationship should be. Define it yourself. The only thing it should be is honest and safe - we're all complex and so are relationships.

Just be prepared for the functional and emotional challenges that come from an open relationship.

Happy reflecting sir...

OkiLove · Accepted Answer

I see love and the act of sex to be different as in, you don't have to love someone to have sex. So you can still love someone and care for them just as you would for any other family members or close friends but be having sex with someone you don't care as much.

Only If you have a mutual monogamous relationship with someone, then having sex with another person would be considered a Cheat. I believe trust is essential for any relationship so if you cheat I would say you don't really love her/him. If you did, you would not make choices that would hurt the relationship.

Having said that, we all make mistakes, and sometimes make stupid choices that you may end up regreting later on. In some cases, you don't notice you loved someone until you are put in a situation where you're on a verge of losing them. In these cases, I'd say yes, a person can still love someone even after they have cheated.

It all depends on the situation but if you cheated more than once, then it's not a mistake anymore. It's a conscious choice so definitely don't love the person he/she is cheating on.

Serenity65 · Accepted Answer

I don't get the whole cheating thing... I cheated with someone once, I was single but he wasn't... probably not the best idea, but he was actually my high school sweetheart and we reconnected, he married a girl who faked pregnant... Anyway although he claimed he loved me, and said he cared for his wife but did not love her, but chose to stay in the marriage because he didn't want to lose half of everything he had and felt he had invested to much into the marriage... He chose to stay unhappy and miserable for money... I guess my take on it now is he cared about himself more then anyone else, maybe she should have the opportunity to find someone who would truly love her... But if he let her know anything she'd get a lot and take it with her when she left him..

RachelBrigs · Accepted Answer

Yeah, I think a cheater may still love their girlfriend/wife, or boyfriend/husband.

But I think it depends on the person obviously. Some cheaters probably don't, while some do. Some people cheat because they have a sex addiction or something to that nature. Some people have been cheaters since they first started dating for whatever reason. There's never an excuse, but I do understand that it's entirely possible for a cheater to still love their SO. After all, cheating doesn't prove that they don't.

jewells · Accepted Answer

I think it's possible but I think that the cheater, at that point in their life is thinking very very selfishly. Only when they stop cheating and are willing to give everything, even their past up for their partner, only then can that love reach its full potential.

XRabbitHeartX · Answer

If you loved your partner you would never have been in a position or chance to even cheat to start off with.

AperolSpritz · Answer

Yes. I had a very short "fling" last year, and it nothing to do with not loving my partner. We were just going through a really crappy time and it was an escape.

I met someone who made me laugh again and gave me something else to think about. It was a distraction. He was completely different to my partner, and when I was with him, I just got to forget everything for a while.

It was because I love my boyfriend so much that I stopped it. He really trying to be there for me, and I was throwing back in his face.
I still feel guilty now, sometimes it's such a strong feeling that have to stop what I'm doing until it goes away, but it never truly does.
There aren't many days I don't think about it at some point, and I am still so ashamed.

Krissie01998 · Answer

If you truly love someone you would never ever do something that you know your partner will be heartbroken over. If you say the words I love you in a conjured relationship that means that you will only love that person that way, you will only have a sexual relationship with that person unless you decide to be kinky together and involve another person.

If you cheat you take a way the trust. With out trust what is left of the relationship to salvage? Nothing.

Cheating is wrong on so many levels

Tanuron · Answer

You certainly dont really love them, you can kinda love them in a superficial way, but basically it would be all about your own needs and not your partner. Cause you do betray them and their trust, do people who really love someone stab them in the back? How can they live with themselves really if they genuinly did? While nothing in life is black and white, it is without question better to work things out, solve the problem rather than run into the arms of someone else and ending up possible hurting 3 people for no good reason. If the relationship isent what you need or want, break up and move on, or try to fix it if want to still stay with that person. Living a lie, decieving yourself, your partner and possible your love affair, its yeah, not good.

kgg200 · Answer

It's not how anyone should live. I know that not everyone is a Christian, but this well-defines love.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe it's possible, but personally that doesn't matter to me. If a guy ever cheats on me then he can gtfo of my life. I hold grudges. Cheating isn't just something you do on accident. It's not like you can accidentally trip and fall and your dick just happened to land into a waiting vagina. When a person cheats they know it's wrong, they know their partner is going to be hurt if they found out, but they do it anyway. Anyone who is willing to knowingly hurt me so severely doesn't need to be in my life.

devilish-cutie · Answer

it's hard to define love. Personaly I don't think I could ever forgive cheater. But does he loves me despite it? well he could have feelings for me so it is love in some way, but he definitely doesn't respect me. The problem I see is in his character, selfish, not trust worthy... - which means I wouldn't want to be w person like that despite if he loves me or I him

1GuyOpinion · Answer

Yeah. People make mistake. In the heat of the moment, lust take over.

Love was never black and white. Nobody understand that shit.

Doesn't make it okay to cheat, of course. If you cheat on somebody you supposedly love, you deserve to lose that love.

Gnana · Answer

First, I am not a cheater, and can't even think about doing it.
But I voted for "No", as the person might love his SO, but chose to cheat on him/her. That makes him/her not love his SO fully. If you truly love someone with all your heart, you wouldn't even think about cheating on him/her, as you will be very hurting. When the person finds out, often, the relationship will be over. Someone who truly loves his SO, wouldn't risk his relationship.

BrittBratt2416 · Answer

No... if you love someone you don't cheat. Cheating means that person isn't enough for you or you don't care that much about the person/relationship or not taking the time to sort out whatever problems your going through. If persons has to cheat, then they might as well be single and stay single until their mature enough to be in relationship.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Lol your in the marines aren't you I recognize your guy's digital camo.

And I'm sure for some people that might be the case of still loving someone but also cheating on them but personally for me I would never cheat on someone I loved ever. Because love is not supposed to be selfish while cheating is a selfish act.

Cmasterson · Answer

I think you could still "love" them, however having respect for someone doesn't go aslong with love all the time, or less respect I would say. A lot of people who cheat probably aren't thinking about their significant other- therefor it has little to do with them and more to do with the cheater. Also I don't think you can be 'inlove' with your partner though if you're cheating on them, its just being selfish because you want to have it all.

Music_Hangover · Answer

I cheated on my boyfriend once. Worst decision ever. I have no excuse. There was this guy who was approaching me, he thought I was cute, and I ain't know how to say no, so I gave in one night.
Ugh.
When my boyfriend found out he was PISSED. I've never seen him so mad but it broke my heart to see him upset. He didn't speak to me for a few days and we live together so that was torture. I felt like shit. I still love him, so much. I will never cheat again. I don't get how people do it.

FantasyStud · Answer

Of course.

Women don't think so as the poll shows because for most of them having sex with a guy means something. Meaning they need to develop feelings and a connection.
Guys will cheat and feel great doing it and then feel guilty and bad cuz they love their girl and its a lot more likely for them to forget about the girl or stop thinking about her.

madhatters4 · Answer

i think you can still love the person even though you cheat on them. certainly doesn't forgive the cheating or make it ok. it does suggest that a cheater doesn't really know how to treat the people they care about though

CHARismatic110 · Answer

I used to think that it wasn't possible to cheat on someone and still love them. But that's changed. I think that you can still love them, but it obviously isn't enough for you to want to do right by them.

somebodysaycheese · Answer

Love them yes. But love them as a partner in crime in life... no. If you love someoen you respect them and infidelity show you dont respect them or yourself

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think you'd do it if you loved someone. Cheating makes no sense. If she invited for a 3some, that's different and sure. Can u help me out on a take? It's about a woman who slept with 2 guys?

ChadThundercawk · Answer

Yes. I highly recommend cheating, if you're a guy. Here is why:
1. Your girlfriend will find you more attractive, because women find it attractive if you're desired by other women
2. Your girlfriend will respect you more, because you have the balls. Of course she'll whine around what a bastard you are, but she'll come back like a bumerang and her attraction to you will enchance.

AnUnpredictableLife · Answer

No you can't, if you truly love somebody you'd never hurt them in any way. Love is like glass it needs to be stable and fragile, if you do harmful things like that you'll break their heart and have bad intentions.

TheDevilInside · Answer

No. To me, cheating means lack of respect. And how can you love someone you don't respect? Impossible to do

Brokenheartedx · Answer

Complex or what

They might care for whoever they are cheating on but to truly love them I don't think so
You wouldn't hurt your mum or dad or your kids because you love them right? So same applies to a gf/BF hubby or wife...

DutchgirlRCMV · Answer

yes you can still love a person after you cheat on them. but you"re not IN LOVE with this person. but if you really love this person let him or her go. nobody deserves that

peterjones · Answer

Absolutely - for a fantastic shag I'd do it - and it'd have zero impact on how I feel about anyone else. I think anything else is just being deluded/living in lalaland.

melme16 · Answer

Nah, not possible. Love is selfless.  What you described is selfishness

Oxi112094 · Answer

When you truly love someone, you don't put your own self pleasure in front of your lotalty to them. If you do, you obviously don't love them enough.

NatashaJ · Answer

When I hear that I think of if someone where to ask "can you emotional/financially/physically abuse someone and love them?". To me no for that and for your question.

EmilyC88 · Answer

I once knew a guy who cheated on his girlfriend for almost a year he ended up marrying his girlfriend

dogbert444 · Answer

No, because that person is thoughtless and cowardly. There are NO excuses for cheating. It is NEVER a mistake. It is always a deliberate act of betrayal.

LittleSally · Answer

Hell nope! For anyone who voted 'yes' is in complete denile or is a terrible person by default.

serious · Answer

No, that is not possible. If you love them then you can never even think of cheating on them, not even in your dreams. That's just not possible.

findingdreamland-1 · Answer

No. Because when you love someone you just avoid hurting them.

fauchelevent · Answer

If you loved someone, you wouldn't hurt them like that.

MargaritaPeach · Answer

Sure, why not? Loving more than one person at a time is not only possible, it's very common.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

My views on this are black and white - so the answer is no. If you cheat, your sense of love is very warped.

ShaunaMck · Answer

Absolutely not! If you loved someone, you wouldn't be able to hurt them that badly!

PurpleTeardrops2 · Answer

I don't think so becuz when you make that decision to cheat, it's like saying you're completely fine with your SO possibly leaving you

Maik567 · Answer

Sure you can "love" them, but if you truly love someone you'd care about them enough to not do something like that.

Triss · Answer

Sometimes cheating happens in a weakness moment so yeah you can still loves her. But if the cheating is intentionally then loved doesn't exist between those two peopke

Yanoa_Yanza · Answer

Yes you can, but if you cheat, it means that you don't love them Enough

loyalgoddess · Answer

I don't think its possible to hurt someone and love them.. that's not love.

BCRanger10 · Answer

No. If you truly love someone, you won't cheat on them.

Anonymous · Answer

Love is SELFLESS MEANING you're NOT SELFISH. Cheating is a selfish act you're not cheating because it makes your partner happy. You cheat because you have needs and desires. Which makes it not live.

phil2 · Answer

Of course not, I am not going to put up with that shit

godfatherfan · Answer

sure you can. Still makes the cheater a disgusting pig of a human being.

Zeus86 · Answer

If you loved and respected that person, you wouldn't do that.

babeeeone · Answer

If you're cheating in the first place then the love really isn't there

Lua_Raye · Answer

You can do that yeah, but that person's love isn't enough for that person so he or she cheats

Cinthia · Answer

Obviously you don't love the person anymore because you already cheated with another girl.

Mayaserpent · Answer

ABSOLUTELY! HUMANS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE WITH ONE PERSON ALL THE TIME! WE ARE CURIOUS SEXUAL CREATURE BY NATURE! ACT ON you're INSTINCTS BUT DONT HURT PEOPLE ALONG THE WAY. GO ABOUT THE SITUATION RESPONSIBLY.

Jessicocoa · Answer

No, I don't think it's possible because it goes against my definition of love.

Princeofanons · Answer

Sure you can still love them, but not enough to be faithful

Rye2402 · Answer

You wouldn't have cheated on them if you like them. You're an idiot if you cheated on someone and still claim do you like them you're just using them and you're going to hurt them even more!!

Owl95 · Answer

Yes, that happens when emotion over rules you logic. Many people cheat out of boredom anger. etc

cinderelli · Answer

If you cheat then you never loved them in the first place

sp33d · Answer

Intuitively it makes no sense. I do think it's possible for someone to regret their decision [genuinely], but you know.. the deed's done, byebye.

Anonymous · Answer

About as much as anybody who treats their partner like shit and claims to love them.

Anonymous · Answer

No if you cheat on them, it already means you dont love them.

JoanSanJose · Answer

It's naive to think that all people who cheat don't love the partners they're cheating on. It's not always the case--but it's very common. Read up on the subject!

Farmores · Answer

No, If you love them cheating doesn't enter the equation.

Can you cheat on someone and still love them?

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