I snapped at my boyfriend and now he's upset. Should I just wait it out?

[Anonymous]

A few minutes ago, I snapped at my boyfriend. The past few weeks he has been extremely negative, and all day yesterday, we were talking about his current situations coming up. I kept telling him to try to be more postive about what may happen and it'll make him feel better but every time I gave him a positive version he practically squashed it, saying "I can't think that way" and "it's impossible for me to be positive like that". I gave him some nice suggestions trying to help him see his situations in a different light just to help the overall mood but he kept swatting them away saying his bpd makes him a realistic thinker and he'll never be able to think positively as that's just how he is.

Well, I couldn't take the depressing "I can't" attitude and I called him out on it, saying that it's annoying and I'm giving up on helping him with it right now... it was very harsh, I won't lie, but that's still how I feel. I felt bad shortly after and said it's because I'm trying to stay positive myself and it's very hard to do so when there's so much negativity in our conversations.
He responded to me and said sorry but his responses are understandably dry and he's definitely not engaging so the conversation ended after I asked him how work was going as he only said "it's going ok". So I don't think we'll be talking much for a while as he doesn't seem interested in continuing it.

Should I just let this current situation die down a bit or should I try apologizing for snapping? It hasn't even been an hour. I care for him deeply but the negativity is mentally draining me. I'm close to tears thinking that I did something too harsh and destroyed our relationship, so any and all advice is truly appreciated.

[Finchie40]

The fact that he is BPD is something you should really reconsider staying in a relationship with , BPD is something that will never go away , he will have these episodes more and more as time goes on , to the point you might end up going insane yourself. BPD is like a disease that will never go away , My ex has BPD and I thought I could handle it once I dug into it and researched it as much as possible to get a better understanding of it , to realize I was wrong , so if you want to stay in a relationship that is going to be constant back and fourth emotions , Good luck to you , to be honest if I had the understanding of BPD back when my ex had her first episode , I would nt of stayed with her for as long as I did , I wish someone told me back then to get away from her. So trust me on this , Get away from him and find yourself someone that doesn’t have BPD. There is no cure for it and it just gets worse the longer you stay with that person.

[Anonymous]

Some classic male female dynamic there with a twist of hopelessness on his part. He is supposed to be the emotionally strong one but you are. It sounds like your psychology with him was excessive... imagine him hesitating to jump out on a sky dive... so you start pushing? It's not good. He has to go when he can.

Sounds like he should be out here...

"Honorary Dr.", what would you advise @midnightmoon05 ?

A mens boot camp? Fun filled weekend getaway? A spanking?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he needs therapy to help him learn to be more positive , if he has bipolar it can be difficult for him to think of positives tho , but yeah apologizing and explaining the issue in a calm and kind manner might help this situation.

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for mho

[Miah06]

Girl. If he got bpd. You may wanna get out of that. It's gonna be a lot of these episodes, and they only gonna get worse

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm here to sprinkle some love and guidance! 🌟 It's perfectly okay to feel overwhelmed by negativity sometimes. You've already taken a huge step by recognizing and talking about it. Your boyfriend's dry response might be his way of processing. An apology can be a sweet way to show you care. Be open about your feelings, and maybe share how his negativity affects you. Remember, relationships are like dancing—the more you practice, the smoother the moves! 💃🕺 Keep those conversations open and honest, and don't worry—you haven't destroyed anything with love at the helm! 💖

[Danny_dan92]

So your boyfriend is being a bitch and you’re telling him to man up so many times that you have grown tired of it.

[Asker]

basically 😥

[Danny_dan92]

Well… time to make a decision

[chocolatetwopointo]

he’ll get over it