If he doesn’t want to be with me unless I live with him full time does he not really love me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating him just over a year, he asked me to move in quite soon and I gave it a shot after a month of saying no. I’ve moved in and out a few times because he’s quite argumentative and insulting at times, but lovely at others, that aside, I put the arguments down to newly getting to know each other and being in such a close space so soon, as well as personalities. Now because I spend some nights at my parents to see my family and dogs when it’s convenient because it’s closer to work, he’s trying to say unless I’m there it’s over. I try explaining things to him but he won’t listen, he just makes up false accusations saying if farther be here full time anyway (which isn’t true) and says I’m either there all of the time or not at all. But honestly I stay at my parents on occasion to avoid his bad moods and save transport costs and see loved ones at the same time. Do you see an issue with this? Am I in the wrong or is he? I just don’t see what his problem is, I think if he had more going on he may not be so bothered about me not being here every single day…

[Finchie40]

From what it sounds like, it sounds like he is controlling and insecure or he is feeling disrespected by you , especially if he is having a fit about you spending time with your family and not coming home? My question to you is , Do you call him and talk to him when you are there visiting your family? or do you completely ignore him? If you are completely ignoring him , then he might assume you are up to no good and not being fully honest with him , but if you are calling and talking to him while you are there , especially before you go to bed , then he shouldn’t be making a big deal about you spending some time with your family period. So somewhere in your relationship with him the trust is broken , the fact that he is moody and mean to you could be something you are doing to him that you don’t realize you are doing to him , to make him feel that way. So it sounds like he doesn’t fully trust you and assumes you are up to no good , especially if You aren’t calling him and letting him know you are staying the night at your family’s house , but if you are calling him and talking to him while you are there , then he shouldn't be having a fit for you spending time with your family whatsoever , so it sounds like he assumes you might be up to no good and assumes you might be cheating on him by you not coming home. Relationships are only hard if you choose to make them hard , one of the biggest problems relationships face is selfishness , everyone of us has selfishness inside of ourselves , so if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner , don’t expect them to remove it for you. For a relationship to last and for love to grow between 2 people, learning to remove selfishness is important to do , basically wearing your partners’ shoes the same way you want your partner wearing yours’ before making decisions. So put yourself in your boyfriends’ shoes , How would you feel if he was telling you he is staying the night at his family’s and not coming home on a regular basis?

[melnc]

Stop playing therapist to a grown man who acts like a toddler. You’re not his emotional punching bag. Boundaries or the door works both ways... pick one.

[AI Opinion]

I'm all about helping lovebirds navigate their romantic rollercoaster, so here it goes! 🌟 If he's demanding full-time cohabitation without addressing the root of your arguments, it might be more about control than love. 🚩 Love should be about mutual respect and understanding, not ultimatums. While it's cool to spend quality duo time, no one's worth sacrificing your comfort and mental peace. Staying over with your parents should be understood as a way to keep balance in life, not a battleground for power. 💖 Keep your boundaries strong and your heart open!

[DryGermanGuy]

That guy needs to grow the fuck up, but quick.

[slatyb]

Why are you still talking to him? Is he the last single man on your planet?

[Jeff51]

I dont like he's likes to argue and insulting. I don't think you should

[Ironic_Method]

Nah. If you're not 100% sure, don't do it.