Is it wrong to give birthday present to a guy friend who has a girlfriend?

[PolkaDottiers]

My guy friend's girlfriend got angry that I gave him a birthday present on his birthday. She scolded him and told him not to accept any more gift from me.

Is it really that wrong of me to give him a birthday present? Or is she just being unreasonable and controlling?

[JesseP1nk]

Honestly. Just forget about the situation and her being jealous. Im 99% certain they will break up at some point, because at some point he grows a paire and is done with her shit or she gets tired of being angry towards him. Because it seems he is well liked by other women but her insecurities will continue. But it could take 5 years, 10 years, 20 years them to break up- why i say it is, you dont have no point waiting for him and even though they WILL break up at some point in the future, what makes you think he chooses YOU and want to be with you. Because i know you are in love with him. What i would do is i would step back and try to move on, if he message you and contacts you i would say throw your shot and see if it sticks - admit your feeling towards him. You would not waste any more time (you are 37 for crying out loud, no time to wait) and you both know where you stand. Ofcourse his girlfriend can't be around or see it.

Because other choise would be secretly in love with him for the rest of your life.

[bddddd]

It sounds like she has insecurity problems... that are hers not yours.

This is assuming your gift wasn't sexual in nature.

[Genie23]

Gifting a friend isn't wrong but your intention matters and also depends on what you get for him.

Didn't you mention wanting to buy things for guy friend you like but has a girlfriend in one of your questions? If he's that guy, I can see why she got mad at you. That's disrespectful.

[PolkaDottiers]

So just because i like him, i should not buy him a birthday present even when it's his birthday? It becomes disrespectful just like that?

[Genie23]

You clearly want him to breakup with her. You can't buy someone's affection, it's like you're trying to show him look things I'll do for you if you let go of her. That's disrespectful enough. Besides there might be other things you do that she might not appreciate which you didn't mention.

I just checked out your profile. Your recent question is for guys, "what made you want to breakup with her" need I say more?

[Genie23]

Let me ask you- How would you feel if you are dating him and there's a woman who doesn't seem to move on and keeps doing things that makes you feel she's crossing a line by hitting on him? Not okay, right? You need to take a step back. Just move on. You'll find someone great who is single.

[PolkaDottiers]

He has shown signs of mental exhaustion caused by her and silently admitted that she is being unreasonable to him

[Genie23]

With all due respect, you're not his therapist and neither he's a kid who doesn't know what he wants. He clearly chose to be with her. You're wasting your time by waiting for someone who's in a relationship with someone for a while, he loves her. There's no guarantee that he'll breakup with her and if he ever will, it won't be for you.

You could put all these efforts for someone who's single but here you are, overthinking about every little thing he does or says or doesn't even say but you feel he's trying to say. Life's too short. Move on.

[bddddd]

Love is a competitive market for many people. There is no reason not to offer demand in case there is supply. That is morally fine in my book. If there are children involved then it becomes more of a grey area. Even then, if it is handled appropriately, I think it is okay.

Either way, gifting an Adidas bag as a birthday present is flat out kind.

[Genie23]

@bddddd market? Supply and demand? I'm talking about business and economy here. I'm talking about showing respect for someone who's committed. It's disrespectful to not just hope but do things to make a guy wants to break up with his girlfriend. You're basically trying to steal someone. I'm 100% sure if she has a partner and someone hopes and does things including try to buy affection of her partner, she'd find it disrespected and would get pretty mad too.

Also, as I mentioned the intention behind a gift and what you're gifting also creates an issue. Her intention is to get him to notice her in a different light and she also got him a cologne. Girlfriends get cologne for their man.

[Genie23]

I'm not talking about business*

@QA I think it's wrong and you deserve someone great and you can't find someone great if you're hungry up on a guy is how I feel. Rest is upto you. Have a great day

[Genie23]

Hung up* not hungry 🤣 pardon me. I'm exhausted.

[bddddd]

I respect your posts. This is one we disagree on, hopefully respectfully.

[Genie23]

@bddddd No problem at all. I don't mind when people disagree with me as long as they do respectfully. So, you're cool. Have a good day!

[bddddd]

I wish you a good day too.

[midnightmoon05]

Can I give a nice gift to your boyfriend? And meet him to have lunch date without you?

he can also complain to me how awful you are … sounds good?

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to uncover relationship dynamics and spill the tea on interactions 💌. It’s generally not wrong to give a friend a birthday gift, but this situation screams "red flag" 🚩 on her end. It sounds like there's a hint of insecurity or jealousy in the air. As long as your intentions are pure and friendly, there's nothing inherently wrong. But, to keep the peace, maybe consider discussing boundaries with your friend if this made waves. Smooth sailing ahead! ⛵😊

[Finchie40]

Depends on the gift and what the intent was behind it? So gift giving can be wrong if it’s taken the wrong way , if your intentions was to get him interested in you over his girlfriend, then that is wrong to do , if you gave him a gift just because it was his birthday and the gift wasn’t signaling any interest other than friendship with him , then that shouldn’t be that big of a deal. So the question is do you want more than friendship with him? Yes or No?

[Chazmatazz269]

Depends on the gift. If it portrayed an inappropriate intimacy in any way, you messed up. If it was just some dumb tchotchke that lets him know you remember and appreciate him, she’s overreacting.

[HawkPerception]

It's fine as long as it's not something a girlfriend would get her partner. It needs to scream "I'm your friend."

[AviatorTom]

His girlfriend is insecure. I hope he has the balls to ignore her "request". It's always okay to give a friend a birthday present.

[OlderAndWiser]

WHAT was the gift that you gave him? Have either of you ever expressed a romantic interest in the other? What is the history of your relationship with him?

[midnightmoon05]

She is trying to steal the guy from his girlfriend. sleazy.

@Genie23 I agree with you.

[OlderAndWiser]

@midnightmoon05 Got it! Thanks.

[Genie23]

@midnightmoon05 Thank you! Glad we are on the same page.

[RavVid]

Most presents I have received from girlfriends have been fairly per-functionary - not be something really tailored my interests/life.

A girlfriend bought very expensive mouse mats but I find a sheet of printer paper better because it works, it is cheap and it is in the right place to make notes on. She wasn't interested in why I used a sheet of paper. instead of some mat.

You might have showed her up as not really knowing much about her boyfriend.

If you bought a more expensive present, that might have seemed competitive to her

[Shiprex]

She's being controlling and he should tell her so. It's normal to give gifts to people on their birthday HOWEVER the nature of the gift may give extra context to the scenario. Like is it underwear, scent, jewellery, or something a girlfriend would give them?

[PolkaDottiers]

It was an adidas bag, adidas hat, adidas water bottle, some cologne sample, and a cheap keychain pouch

[Shiprex]

That's not a bad thing apart from the cologne. It's a personal thing that girlfriend may deem their domain for their men. If it was a set then there shouldn't have been a drama. Like I say she's trying to control his connections and maybe doesn't appreciate his friends

[blackeagle007]

I feel that’s a bit too much.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Depends on the present.

If it was a new wrench, or a gift card to his girlfriend's favorite restaurant, I think it's okay.

If it was a picture of your boobs, maybe his girlfriend has a right to be mad.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

So what WAS the present?

[PolkaDottiers]

It was an adidas bag, adidas hat, adidas water bottle, some cologne sample, and a cheap keychain pouch

[bddddd]

I think that is fine. Honestly giving birthday presents to friends is almost always a beautiful thing to do. I don't care about whether you have romantic intentions or not (contrary to some others on the thread). It is beautiful either way. You should be proud of yourself. It is up to the couple to manage their relationship. I'm pretty sure an adidas bag should not affect their relationship. It just sounds like a kind gift.

[NotLongKindaGirthy]

Are there a certain amount of sexual attraction or tension between you and this guy? Is that what the girlfriend might have been picking up on?

[glennos89]

Woman can be pretty jealous if I look at my past experiences. They all say to me...

"I thrust you but I don't thrust other woman"

But if I tell her that she is being jealous she isn't agreeing with me. She just don't thrust other woman. So I'm lime... yeah right...👀

[Anonymous]

It depends on a number of things. For mine what was the reason behind it? Is he really just a friend or someone you like? If he’s someone you like you’re treading on thin ice, especially because he has a girlfriend. Or also depends on what you got him. Like something intimate as well as how much you spent on said item. Maybe his girl got him something that cost $50, then you come along w a $100 gift. But if I’m reading correctly from another post, you like this dude so I think yes it would be wrong.

[Lucy68]

I don't know if this says inappropriate or not but I use to give my guy friends back in highschool and college stuff like food/candy on their birthdays. One time I gave one a comic book, but other than that that's it

[trumpetplayerforlife]

I mean I don't see and issue she sounds insecure

[WhitneySnow]

Not wrong at all! As long as you’re not interested in him romantically, there’s nothing wrong with you and him being friends.

[WhitneySnow]

@Harris_Lover what?

Yes. In heteronormative relationships, romantic relationships are defined by romantic interest.

[glennos89]

@WhitneySnow I agree with you 💯

[Sirenboobzilla]

Depends on the gift and the intent behind it. It would be like one of my guy friends buying me lingerie vs a band t-shirt while I have a boyfriend

[Billlewis]

I give money, gifts and gift cards to women who have boyfriends all the time, but I always make it a point to make him happy, as well, because my goal is not to take her away from him, but rather to spoil them both as much as possible.

[andreasderjuengere]

Probably, you made an unlucky choice of gift?

She may have felt ''outperformed'' or challenged.

In general there's nothing wrong.

[PeachyPie93]

No it's wrong because from reading your comments you have ulterior motives. Woman that lie in wait for other peoples men are next level dirty..

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

Geez is not like you're guy friend is married to Karen.

To many Karen's now a days be thinking they are queen of univers.

[Staximus]

Not wrong. She probably got him a shitty present

[LiamJHayden]

If I had a girlfriend who pulled that nonsense I'd dump her.

[BCRanger10]

How long have you been friends with this man?

[beenherebefore]

What type of relationship do you have with this guy and his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

The present says, if you want a break for her, I will fuck you and keep quiet about it.

[PolkaDottiers]

Huh?

[Opinion Owner]

[fish5505_87]

If you were his real friend prior to his girlfriend then no, you did nothing wrong. If their was something more deceitful going on then, maybe?

[In_Trance]

How would you like it if your boyfriend received a gift from another girl?

[Anonymous]

It's not wrong but she might be jealous.

[PolkaDottiers]

But is there a valid reason to be jealous in the first place?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think so.

[exitseven]

As long as it is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

That relationship won't last.

[StevenMcGarrett]

She's being unreasonable and controlling.

[jahaims]

Depends on the gift etc.

[Godihateyou]

Thays his fucking girlfriends fucking problem.

[wkhan_87]

A lot of people will give him bd present

[SamWinchester058]

How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

[PolkaDottiers]

I would feel happy for him that he's receiving birthday present from his friend

[stvigor]

Totally fine