Real Love vs The Idea Of Love. Can you tell the difference?

[thegreenyogi]

And have you ever made the mistake of falling for the idea of being with someone?

[Zack-Bann]

I was young and foolish
And yes


That “idea” was the most beautiful concoction my mind ever came up with


Writing this in my parents garden after having been home for a week I’m finally realizing why I did that:
This here is a gorgeous country on the surface but underneath there’s something broken.
Or maybe I’m just unwilling to accept that I’m part of the rabble and the high society.


Either way: my big love fantasy always involved having financial freedom and the ability to partake in fun activities all the time.


I convinced myself that the love is what I was missing to be happy but the truth is I still haven’t found true happiness anywhere


I’m not “sad” but I definitely am unfulfilled. The emptiness creeps in at odd times

[thegreenyogi]

One suggestion: I know this might be really hard and it's not something many people have the strength to do but try listening to those thoughts that creep up even the bad ones because it's in those thoughts ( your internal chaos ) that you will find firstly what your issue with yourself really is and secondly the answer you are looking for in terms of what happiness is for you or what will make you really happy. And my guess is that it's letting go of all of your expectations of yourself and the world plus disattaching from everything you think or thought was important.

[Zack-Bann]

Those are some very insightful suggestions. Not that I’m surprised at this point ;)

I have tried this in the past but maybe not hard enough.
The deeper I search the less I find
I manufacture the goals that bring me joy and fulfillment but the reality is: they are 100% self imposed and unimportant outside my own mind

Put that on top of the constant and endless dismissal by everyone around me and I’m left feeling alone even a crowd of people.

(Sorry for the gloomy mood. I don’t wanna sound too depressed because I’m not)

[thegreenyogi]

Don't ever apologise. Your thoughts and feelings deserve to be acknowledged and heard. You have achieved great things considering the point in which you began. Maybe what you are experiencing is feeling low due to mental burnout. So you've been on the go continously and you haven't really allowed yourself to stop and reset. I think when you begin to feel this way it's precisely that moment in which you need to stop.

As for others not acknowledging you. Well maybe it's time you shifted perspective. For whom are you achieving those goals? You or them? Learn to love yourself more. You don't others approval or acknowledgment. You reached certain goals and you are a better and more confident person for it. Don't let people's silence and dismissal weigh you down.

[thegreenyogi]

Stand tall. Don't let your worth be defined by other people's validation. And your worth is a great deal.

[Bigbro69]

We'll just keep it incognito

[HawkPerception]

I think I've been able to spot the difference. I was never the type to break up in relationships because I never wanted to hurt my partners. But I felt like my partners didn't really care about what I wanted in the relationship. It was all about me pleasing them. I think if someone loves you, they put in the effort to make you feel loved.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help you navigate the tricky waters of love with a splash of humor and insight! 😄 Ah, the eternal conundrum of real love vs. the shiny idea of it. Real love is like a warm hug that becomes pajamas and toothpaste-sharing, whereas the idea of love is that fleeting romantic fantasy where everything stays perfect forever. I've definitely fallen for the idea before, only to realize it's as real as unicorns riding rainbows! Embrace the imperfections, that's where the magic happens! 😊💕

[NathanDavis]

I made that mistake once, and one time alone... this back in middle-school

yeah, yeah... it was kiddy love, but still a lot of feelings, I didn't know better, in fact I didn't know anything at all, lol... basically, it was more of an infatuation, a crush, idealizing... falling in love with the idea of someone and something rather than actually focusing on who she REALLY was... so

from that point and moving forward, I made sure to not make the same mistakes again later in life... and so far, so good...

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'm glad you felt true love so early 😝

[NathanDavis]

@Maybe_Maybe_not that wasn't it... not in middle-school at age 12

but high-school, yes... aged 16

[NathanDavis]

that's when I learned about right, yes.. this is more right, this is more of how it should be...

love should be a thing about two... not just me in my head

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I know I know, I'm being facetious, due to our recent discussion about...

... What is love!

[Emmytexrex]

I have posted something similar to this real love is you having a choice to stay in a relationship even the good and the bad because you choose them while the idea of love is infatuation or limerence and when that rose colored glass is out you will no longer have those feelings or yh even the idea of love can be you entering a relationship not because you love them but you are feeling lonely and just want to jump into anything which is not a healthy mindset to be in

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

There is no difference to me.

There is love. And love. As in a sentiment felt.

Are love and love good for me, for my personal balance? That's for another question 😌

[Nikki1989]

Real love is grounded in reality, acceptance, and a conscious commitment to another person. The idea of love is usually just infatuation.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Never had the issue of falling for someone by accident. More just the issue of never falling in love at all

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Is it really an issue though, in your opinion?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

No, but if I don’t call it that people start trying to convince me that it is

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Ah well, I somewhat understand these people, but it's a wrong approach they're using though

[WhitneySnow]

I can tell the difference. I’ve been idealized and it’s not fun. I really try not to make that mistake with other people.

[genericname85]

i hate the term "real" love. cause it implies "love" is fake unless you call it "real". it devalues the concept.

[MannMitAntworten]

Yes I do and no I have not. I am however left with the sense that a couple of my exes heads fell into, “The Idea of Love” category.

[MannMitAntworten]

Was it love, or was it the idea of being in love?
Or was it the hand of fate that seemed to fit just like a glove?
The moment slipped by and soon the seeds were sown
The year grew late and neither one wanted to remain alone

One slip and down the hole we fall
It seems to take no time at all
A momentary lapse of reason
That binds a life to a life
You won't regret, you will never forget
There'll be no sleep in here tonight

[Bigbro69]

Wow, I know I will never regreit

[exitseven]

Yes, probably. I was maybe in love to make myself feel better about life.

[qwerty2469]

If you love someone that you get no benefit of loving its real. Its also torture. Love is fucking stupid.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I love my family, that's real. Everything else is fake.

[Bigbro69]

If you fall for your sibling like she falls for you I don't see nothing wrong

[WonderingManII]

I can't tell anything is true about love.

[LiaRaven]

That’s not love

[Anonymous]

Yes, I know the difference.

[Neliii1234]

There is just gotta find

[Naomiii123]

Can be lust