Aka this was supposed to be me ranting my heart out while I cry it out, but then I realized sth, so would like your input.
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Any time I try to think that maybe he just didn't get over the last girl he dated, and that the outcome would have been the same regardless of anything I said, more things start popping to my mind that show me even more obviously that he liked me, and that he had romantic intentions from the beginning instead of just sex (obviously he started showing it more when he got to know me a tiny bit better), and that I was indeed the one who messed everything up because of one stupid sentence, because I was confused about everything and couldn't figure out that he showed romantic intentions from the beginning 😭
And I apologized, he knows now I like him, but he still won't talk to me. Despite me being totally "another one will come" in my head, which usually means I'm basically over someone close to 100%, I still cannot stop feeling like I've made the biggest mistake of my life. I've never wanted to turn back the time and change sth in the past, not even after breaking up with the only man I loved so far (nor at any point after), but I wish I could do it now. 💔 I even lost all desire to have sex with him, I just wish we could spend some time only talking and getting to know each other and then have sex when we're ready again. And I haven't had that happen neither with the ex I loved, nor the second guy I was in love with. With both I imagined we would get back together, talk the issues out and go back to normal soon enough (i. e. I still imagined us going for it). But I just want to talk to him and spend time together for a longer while, enjoying.
Does that mean I like him more than I did the ex I loved? Or maybe what I thought was love was a higher form of being in love and respecting him as a person? Though I'm pretty sure I loved him, but this is just different. I just wish I could stop feeling this way and stop crying periodically
Plus, I felt this way before realizing I was the one who messed up.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I keep it simple... what's actual love?
that is when two people are in love with each other, and it is mutual, that is real lovewhenever it is a one side thing, that's not love you just think you're in love but is not reciprocated therefore not a fulfilling feeling at all... and that's now what love really means to me
Could u feel different in this situation because u feel like u messed up
I messed up some things with my ex too (we both messed up), and I didn't feel this way. So I would guess not
Then the only other thing I can think of is liking this guy more then u did the past guys or maybe u yourself changing and understanding their won't be a you teo getting back together and because of that you are wanting that time u missed out on
Then it's probably the first thing if I compare it to the rest. With the ex, we did spend 3,5 years trying to get back to each other and it was a huge shock and shatter when we got into a huge fight and said goodbye forever, but it didn't feel like this. But maybe more relevant, the other guy I was in love with, well, I was also very aware we wouldn't stand a chance of getting back together because even before finding out about the ex, he told me he just couldn't do it. And I didn't feel this way (I was hurting a lot ofc, crying a lot, couldn't stop thinking of him even when I tried for quite a few months, bur nowhere along the line did it feel like this. Not even when I managed to think of him less or managed to switch the thinking from the in-love fantasies to purposely imagining scenarios where we try and don't work out or either of us rejecting the other one just so I could get over him).
I mean, the second option makes sense generally, but I felt like I missed out on more with that second guy I was in love with because we only had "regular" dates (with some spontaneous adventures). I don't feel like I've missed out on anything now. We really spent some good quality time together, be it outside, indoors, having fun, chilling, having long cuddles and talks, watching movies, even going shopping or to the gym. I managed to have more quality time with him than e. g. with my ex within the same period (so for the ex it took longer). Compared to the second guy I was in love with, maybe the opposite would make sense (me feeling this way *because* I spent more quality time with him), but compared to the ex, it wouldn't make sense. It would at last have to be the same, but it isn't. I don't know
Fair enough 🤷🏽♂️