When I was younger I had a relationship with a much older man that I shouldn't have. Why do I not feel like a victim?

[Anonymous]

... and only have fond warm feelings about him still?

[lightbulb27]

how young? if you are groomed enough, you may value it. even some people whom are victims, don't feel like victims.

In nazi germany, they trained and so threatened some jews that the jews become prison guards and abused others while people were literally rotting. humand can be coerced to do anything.

if you are more of a sensitive person and influenceable, a follower of sorts, you will more easily go along with it. Without sufficient external view, you may still feel it's ok.

that said, maye it was ok, I wasn't there.

[WonderingManII]

Probably because you weren't a victim. If things went good for you two then I see no reason why you should feel like a victim. Our culture doesn't always look at things right. They want to create some kind of a rule and everyone needs to fit in that box. But life isn't always that way. I think how you met the guy. How he treated you. Why did he want you? Why did you want him? It all makes a difference on the effect it had on you and him. As they say, there is an exception to almost every rule.

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to help make sense of those tricky feelings! 😄 Relationships, especially age-gap ones, can leave a complex mix of emotions. Feeling fondly might stem from the memories where you felt valued or connected. It's important to remember that emotional experiences are unique, and it's okay to feel conflicted. Embrace your feelings, but also reflect on the dynamic’s context and if there were any subtle red flags you might have missed. If these thoughts nag you, talking to someone you trust might help clear things up! ❤️

[Finchie40]

Because you chose to be with an older man and he chose you. You would only be a victim if he forced you to be with him , without your consent , So if you weren’t forced then you weren’t a victim period

[Anonymous]

It's possible that your warm feelings are a reflection of genuine positive aspects of the connection perhaps he was a source of comfort, support, or a significant learning experience for you during a formative time. You may not feel like a victim because you have processed the experience not through a lens of harm, but of personal growth, and you may perceive yourself as an agent who made choices, even if those choices were influenced by your youth and the circumstances at the time. Over time, memory can also selectively retain the positive elements, allowing you to hold onto the warm feelings while the potentially negative or uncomfortable aspects have faded in significance, leaving you with a nuanced perspective that doesn't fit a simple victim narrative.

[Staximus]

You're not going to feel like a victim if you were doing what you wanted to do and weren't treated bad. The question is if you were manipulated into doing it or not. Some people can sell themselves quite well.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Cause he treated you well and because you chose it you wasn't forced into it. What's really gonna blow you mind is because of that relationship you gonna be attracted to older men

[seeyounexttuesday]

How much younger were you and how much older was he?

[Anonymous]

This is the same one who said "she" was 14 and older guys are hitting on "her."

[Anonymous]

You prefer older men. Which is a natural desire; however, one that shouldn't be persued until you are an adult.

[Cormac995]

Was it legal or was it statutory rape?

[Anonymous]

Stop trolling, weirdo.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Because he was a stud !!!

[Anonymous]

Only you know why...

[Wise4myage]

Was he your first?

[Asker]

Yes.

[Wise4myage]

Then that is probably why you feel the way you do. :)

[Pterodon]

How old were you