If your spouse cheated on you but then felt remorseful and confessed, would you forgive them?

[Anonymous]

I think everyone deserves a second chance. What do you think?

Updates

11 mo

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[OlderAndWiser]

Questions such as this are answered with intellectually-configured responses if you have never had the experience, but you get emotional responses from people who have had the experience. E. g., girls can sit in their dorm rooms at college and talk about their thoughts on abortion, but when one of them gets pregnant, there are overwhelming feelings that will drive that girl's decision.

It is easy to talk about forgiveness if you haven't been the victim of a cheater, but when you finally discover that your partner has been cheating with your "best friend," you are more likely to think about cutting off his manhood and setting him on fire. Or cutting off her hair and super-gluing her vagina closed.

I have been the victim of cheating twice. I might eventually forgive my partner - in the sense that I am not going to walk around full of anger for the rest of my life - but I will never forget, never again trust that person, and the relationship will be immediately terminated.

[ManOnFire]

I would appreciate that they confessed and feel remorse - if they really did, and I would forgive them. But I wouldn't stay in a marriage with them anymore. That trust has been broken, even if they're sorry they did it. Because what happens is that cheating tends to open the door for more, which is why there is the broken-record term "once a cheater, always a cheater." Once you've crossed that line of infidelity, it usually makes it easier for them to do it again and again. I think the cheaters who have cheated once and regretted it and never did it again are extremely rare.

[alice55]

I would never forgive them for me they're dead and I would act like they're stranger. Last time a friend betrayed me (for something a lot less important than cheating) well 14 years after I still hate them with a burning passion and I never talked or looked in their direction ever again (even though she literally work in the grocery shop I go to).

[Nikki1989]

Cheating happens when something is not right within the relationship. The relationship is most likely already in trouble if your partner cheats on you. You should have sorted those issues out before anything that happens. It is too late to forgive at that point.

[Boobslover01]

would u pls send me private message... Need to ask you something

[AI Opinion]

Diving into this emotionally charged zone, huh? 😏 My aim here is to dish out a bit of wisdom. Forgiveness is a personal journey. If they sincerely regret it, own up to their mistake, and take steps to rebuild trust, then maybe it's worth considering. But don't ignore your gut feelings or those pesky red flags. It's all about understanding, trust, and perhaps a sprinkle of lovebombing... in a good, genuine way! 🌟 Follow your heart, and remember, you're not alone in this. 💪❤️

[Chazmatazz269]

No way in hell.
Even if you believe people can change like that, and i don’t, it’s absolutely dumbsh*t ignorant to think that people change in the absence of negative consequences. It has never happened. It will never happen. Forgiving someone for such a despicable trespass as violating the trust of an intimate relationship serves only to give them permission to do it again.
I’m no fool. When the trust is gone, so are they.

[Finchie40]

I could forgive them , but I wouldn’t forget , the relationship between us would be over , I would no longer devote myself to them , I would just consider them an acquaintance and move on and find someone else

[DishLady]

I forgave mine while I was helping him pack the largest suitcase in the house...

[Boobslover01]

Can you send me private message please

[DishLady]

@Boobslover01 About what?

[Boobslover01]

Just general chat

[Boobslover01]

Please

[Boobslover01]

Wanna ask you something... Please

[AviatorTom]

If you have a strong relationship and the cheating is a one-time thing, I would most likely maintain the relationship, forgive but not forget. If it happens again, it's toast.

[aaron13547]

Yes because marriage isn't something you give up on. You'd like to think you mean more to them right? Well you don't, they proved that. You're worth more then to be cheated on and they need to prove that to you. For me it would start the relationship over but I'd give them a second chance for myself. I choose to marry that person so I did as wrong as them letting the situation arise. People get hurt and blame the other when the way to fix hurt isn't more hurt. it understand the other small problems that lead to the one big thing happening. A mistake, is a mistake. To grow past something like that is more then a lot of people can do. No matter what you do remember the purpose is you not this partner that cheated if you stay with them its to make yourself better if you leave them its to make yourself better. Do that and you will have made the right choice. Good luck and I'm sorry for your pain

[Cormac995]

Cheating is the exception to the rule. The moment you cheat every promise, every kiss, every I love you was a lie. Cheating is one of the only circumstances under which hitting your spouse is acceptable. I've never hit a woman before in my life but if I get cheated on she's catching the back of my hand multiple times.

[aaron13547]

So because you weren't good enough and she found someone better, she deserves to be hit? I think the reason she cheated is because she knew she deserved better. You can't change or fix other people only yourself to try to change someone who doesn't want to change is hopeless. when someone changes to improve themselves because your interaction with them that's what makes love good or bad worth it or not. You can't make someone love you, but you sure can make them want to love you...

[aaron13547]

Lol actually never been cheated on or cheated. Unless I didn't know about it. I don't live in a world where I choose a person to love who would cheat on me. I assume people cheat because they feel like they deserve more. A happy person doesn't cheat. I've always strived for the best and in turn avoided a lot of negativity thou this life. You realize the first thing you said was you would never hit a women and then the very next thing you said was to contradict that and say to be cheated on you'd hit the women... when shit bad shit happens in my life I've fix it not run from it or make excuses that's all I was saying here. No one asked your opinion on my comment. I'm going to hope you can one day see life in a more positive way. Fixing ourselfs makes the world better making excuses and spreading negativity is the emotional vibration that causes cheating. My goal in life is to be the solution to the problems of the world not the cause or effect.

[OlderAndWiser]

@aaron13547 She cheated because she found someone better? Deserved someone better? That is the kind of rationalization that only a cheater would offer.

She found someone who isn't bothered by having sex with someone else's wife. Is that your idea of a "better person?" And if that guy is so much better, why does she now want to come back to her partner and seek forgiveness?

You can't make other people change; I agree. So if a woman cheats on me, it's over right now and immediately. I don't condone hitting her - not because she doesn't deserve it, but because hitting her will end up sending me to jail, and I'm not going to let her have the last laugh.

[aaron13547]

y'all don't get it... yes most of time when someone cheats your better then that. But Leaving them doesn't keep the next person from cheating on you... Changing who you are, becoming a person you doesn't get cheating on cause there partners loves them enough to not want to cheat when offered to cheat... that's what I have. You can't fix or change other people only yourself everything happens for a reason it's our job to make that bad reason something happened and make it into good rather then bad. Look at the word itself what it means "cheat" to take advantage of. If your taken advantage of, the solution is to leave it behind you forget it happened? My solution is make sure it never happens again. I don't understand why people are arguing with me about this. I found my right way. It's allowed me to have a life I wasn't cheated on or ever wanted to be the cheater. Maybe I'm ignorant. but maybe I'm onto something. I'm just trying to share my secret to life to make others have life's as good as mine take the advice or leave I'm going to continue to be my best self...

[aaron13547]

If you die in a video game in the game you start over but you as the player now know how you died so you avoid that... if you get cheated on in life you don't die to be able to restart you can restart with someone new or you can fix the mistake (weather you are the cheater or cheated on)... finding a new person doesn't mean they aren't gonna cheat on you or get cheated on by you. Why should anything be different in a new relationship if your the same person who messed up the last... that's all I'm saying. You die in a video game and next time try to be better... why would you not apply that same is principle to life?

[Orion84]

Nope, I would dump them the moment I found out.

Cheating isn't an accident, or a mistake in judgement; it is a concious decision to betray the person you claim to love. There is no forgiving that, and there are no second chances.

If you truly loved your partner, cheating should never even be something you'd consider. So either you don't really love your partner, or you're just a shitbag, and I wouldn't stay with either.

[Cormac995]

Alcohol isn't an excuse either. I've been three sheets to the wind and still had self control enough to know that I needed to walk home and sleep it off to be responsible. Alcohol makes bad decisions easier but they not an excuse they just make what was already going to happen more likely. I don't care if you were drunk when you hit the guy it's manslaughter in my opinion if you drink and drive it SHOULD BE a murder charge because you conciously made the desicion knowing it was illegal and now someone is dead. I think either 2nd or 3rd degree murder charges should be placed on drunk drivers frankly. If anything I think they should be punished more not less. You made the decision to ingest that substance. If you can't handle your liquor than you shouldn't be drinking in the first-place end of story.

[Cormac995]

As a result of this logic it applies to cheating too. If you cheat on me while drunk that makes 0 difference to me in fact I think even lower of you because then you're not just a whore but a drunk one too.

[PeachyPie93]

Depends how long we been together and it would depend on a bunch of things and details.. but he would have to be providing a good life for me. If I was taking care of myself financially I wouldn't forgive it, because he offers nothing to me not even safe love at that point.

[victoriaxoxo]

This is the only circumstance I would consider forgiving in; 1. Where they confessed themselves 2. Showed clear remorse 3. They know why it happened and know how to ensure it won’t again

however whether I would be able to truly forgive is a different question, I would probably want to but I get the feeling that I wouldn’t be able to emotionally

[BadApple69]

I can. And I did.


The trick is to forgive and forget (not easy) I have a good memory.
But every time you fight you can’t throw this up into the cheaters face. Every problem needs to be handled individually. And never bring up the cheating.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Absolutely NO. Once that level of betrayal happens, the trust can never be rebuilt. You can forgive them, but you will never forget and the smallest issue can reopen the wound.

Personally, if I find out anyone I'm even dating has a history of infidelity, ill end contact after wishing them the best and hope they find what they are seeking. Doesn't matter if it is 2 weeks or 10 years.

[just_a_potato]

I could forgive them eventually, if they really meant it. But I wouldn't be able to trust them ever again. So we couldn't be together anymore either. It could always happen again, and I don't want to spend the rest of my marriage worrying about a repeat, sounds miserable.

[2_beHappy]

Not even close. No matter how sorry he is, or for what reason, If he ended up doing that... it tells me everything. He shouldn t even be able to think all of it , if he really loved me or was attracted to me.

[Alex_Bright]

Maybe eventually I'd forgive them, but the relationship is over.
The forgiving part usually aligns with me having moved on and wishing them the best for the future.

All the best,
Alex

[grungeberry]

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

You can forgive someone but don’t keep putting yourself in the same situation and expecting a different result, that’s insanity.

[Asker]

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

This saying is nice, I will put it on my WhatsApp status.

[Cormac995]

Nope. The foundation of trust is forever shattered and love can't live without trust. I'm dumping them on the ground like the whore they are.

[Anonymous]

My spouse can't cheat on me - we're in an open relationship. The only way we'd consider it cheating is if we didn't tell each other, or we engaged in risky sex. Aside from that, there's no reason to keep anything hid. So far, we haven't disapproved of each other's choices, and a few resulted in threesomes and foursomes!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I find it particularly unreliable to chat about this in a vacuum, in advance. Without being in the situation, without living it. That's my answer.

[Paige90]

Maybe but he would have to go to counseling. I believe in the saying "Once a cheater, Always a cheater."

[Boobslover01]

Sweety, would u pls send me private message please... Need to ask you something

[EmmaMary]

No absolutely not... Divorce papers would be drawn up and served... The End.

[FreyaRed]

Of course I would forgive but it doesn't mean I want further spend my time with this person together.

[abc3643]

I think it would depend on the circumstances... and who the guy is.

[Asker]

Why does it matter who the guy is? If that guy is your friend, would you forgive your spouse?

[abc3643]

Of course it matters because that gives context as to what happened!
Think about it.

[Asker]

Weird

[abc3643]

Not weird at all.

If my wife was having an affair with my brother, that would be big.
If my wife and her coworker got drunk on a business trip and fucked - essentially a one-off - I'd be more forgiving.

[beenherebefore]

I’m not sure. If we had kids maybe I would consider forgiving him but if we have no kids I think I’ll just leave him.

[Anonymous]

This happened. Now he doesn't get the opportunity because his phone is always giving me his GPS and I drain his dick before he leaves the house.

[HighValue]

No. Once trust is broken, the relationship would never be the same again. It would be forever ruined.

[douride2]

Not a chance. I did that once. He turned right around & cheated again. You cheat your out the door & out of my life for ever. in my opinion once a cheater always a cheater.

[WhitneySnow]

That’s a really tough one. Maybe, but it would be a long time before I trusted them again.

[whereismyjohnny]

Nope. Cheating is something I have zero tolerance for.

[Account]

No.

I disagree, I don't think everyone deserves a second chance.

[Account]

I would actually be disgusted by them. It is not something I am able to control.

[itsannalee]

Nope, if i forgive I will just let him taste his own medicine.

[Anonymous]

It would be extremely difficult for me. I wouldn't rule it out, but it wouldn't be likely.

[Pohjolan]

Depends on whether kids are involved.

If not then she will never regain the same respect she had for him before if he remains in the relationship.

[Drumlin2001]

No. Never an excuse. Only complicated by having kids. Would have to work some sort of coparenting

[Mrtcn01]

exactly second chance with her female best friend and she deserve, in one bed with me (3some) then i forgive her.

[Oldschool1981]

Yes, no problem. TBH, it's not something I even get upset about.

[Alex-Snow]

I think so. But if she cheated for a long time or with multiple guys probably not

[SotiCoto]

I'll forgive once. Once is understandable.
Not a second time though.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I would forgive them. Give them a hug and kiss, and then inform them the relationship is over, and wish them well.👍

[Bloodparadise]

I don't get this 'finding just one person attractive for all life' thing

[Anonymous]

Is your self esteem that low? Are u that unattractive that you can't get anyone else lol? Damn girl

[Anonymous]

The asshole demi used to throw it in my face every time she cheated... it was one of the reasons i dumped that fucking piece of shit

[WhatIsYourZodiac]

Yes I would... People should be given second chance to change

[Espreso9]

Depends why they told me. If they was forced I found they kept lying. Then came clean I’d be done.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

No id itemize everything and get what I deserve

[mrshooiser]

Nope. Divorce is the answer.

[sinestro23]

absolutely not

[RavVid]

It is broken so no.

[elizamichale1]

I would n I have n it still didn't work out

[WhatIsYourZodiac]

What happened?

[exitseven]

Maybe. It is not a black and white as it was.

[Anonymous]

I would thank them for being honest.

[Kelly6]

I would give second chance

[Neallyaa]

Forgive and divorce

[jahaims]

No, I have self respect

[RedInnocent69]

Much harder to do in practice

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would forgive.

[dudeinohio]

Nope

[_piotr]

Yes.

[Staximus]

Hell no

[Staximus]

Forgiving a cheater is just giving them incentive to cheat again. The treatment you tolerate is the treatment you receive.

[grega239]

Never

[qwerty2469]

Lol. No.

[cavedweller1973]

Nope!