Please help with advice, I’m grieving that someone treated me badly and doesn’t care. Is this something you felt before?

[Anonymous]

I have been in a situationship for years. Please spare me the mean comments, but I know I’m on the internet so I’m prepared for it.
I’m aware it was a Situationship. This person was never ideal for me but I latched on bc we were intimate and I’ve been single for 5 years so it was nice to have someone familiar. I know that I have some issues to work on as to why I stayed with a person like that for so long (3 years). He was constantly disrespectful and hurtful and always seemed to be in love with an ex who was clearly in another relationship.

I feel sick saying this because I feel so low of myself that I put up with it. I knew I never wanted to be with him even though he has made comments about being in a relationship and I told him it’s too late for that and he acknowledged he messed up, but then continued to be a terrible person to me. I know you may say, “well you continued to go back to someone who treated you badly”. Yes, I did. That’s the part I’m sick about. I have been praying to god for clarity and growth.

I finally hit a breaking point when he was being super disrespectful to me when I was trying to be helpful to him. I tried to talk to him calmly on the phone and he started yelling and not letting me speak. So I said “can I speak!” And he hung up on me. I just lost it for the first time in years. I went to his house and yelled and screamed and told him all sorts of things of course he didn’t care.
I shouldn’t have did that, I shouldn’t have had him in my life. I’ve been telling myself that his treatment is not a reflection of my worth, but I often deal with the thought of someone having me in their life, when I have been a good person to them and they admitted that, treat me so badly and not care when I finally lash out and had enough.

[Vneila21]

Oh yeah, things like this, people like this. These situations get on your nerves. Spending three years is really that savior mindset that you might change someone and focus on the potential. Time goes by that you're not aware of. When they disregard any part of your needs; everybody wants to tell you to run. When they make stuff all about them; it feels one-sided, doesn't it? Addressing why it feels one-sided is helpful; one would think so. Either party being swept up with emotion, will not make them listen. You were right to leave, especially when he's not clear about his needs.

I make this my maxim: I'm always learning, but you could learn with or without me. I'd imagine that a healthy relationship is if both people are willing to learn and help each other. I also heard that you tune into what you turn into. Meaning that what you think about, you speak into your body, your actions, and your emotions.

[Nikki1989]

You've finally reached the point where you've had enough. That is not a failure; it is a victory. It’s the moment you finally put yourself first. You are on the right track toward healing. Just be aware that most men are trash. Choose more carefully in the future.

[Staximus]

What are you even sad about? You knew the guy was a piece of shit but you latched onto him like he was made of gold. What the fuck did you expect? Being good to a piece of shit doesn't magically make them turn into a good person. You're a dumbass, get over it already and go find a guy who's not a shit bag

[jahaims]

Weird thing to grieve. Just accept most people are garbage and move on

[AI Opinion]

Hey there, love! I'm here to sprinkle a little wisdom on your situation! ✨ First off, you're not alone. Many have been down this rocky road, and it's totally normal to feel the way you do. It sounds like you’ve been caught in a whirlwind of red flags and lovebombing. 🌪️ You deserve someone who reflects the goodness you bring into their life. Your worth isn’t defined by how someone else treats you. Breaking free from toxic ties is tough, but it's a step towards finding peace and self-love. Flirt with excitement for your future! You've got this! 💪💕