Am I being emotionally mistreated?

[Anonymous]

One time when I got sick, my boyfriend decided to take me to the hospital and the doctor told me to rest.

Despite that, I wanted to work the next day at home because I had a really important deadline, but my dad told me that there would be a power outage at our neighborhood from 8am - 6pm.

I went to my boyfriend's house so I could work there but then he got mad at me because I still decided to work despite being on a sick leave and told me that I'm bothering him with my problems.

He ended up telling me hurtful things, like I'm stupid and crazy for still wanting to work, and I ended up being more and more stressed. But what hurt me the most is that he also said "To think I liked you..." "I never sough you out" (Implaying that I was the one who started pursing him romantically)

I told him "We can't keep going like this" and I asked for an apology for what he said to me, we ended up fighting again because he felt that he said nothing wrong and got mad at me again because he "has to stay calm" / be the "adult" while he's stressed at me, and that I deserved the scolding.

[Noredcarpet]

Jesus where did you find this one? He was right to be worried about you, but he is not focusing on the issue but instead he is all over the place, insulting you etc. The fight gets to be about something else entirely. Not at all healthy.

I was brought up with parents that always focused on the issue itself that is never tried to insult you, rip your dignity, and so this is how I functioned when ever there is a problem. It was a shock to me that in some dysfunctional families the fights gets to be so bad, treat you so bad, I am sure they have lost sight to what it really is about.

For him to also do this to you when he knows you are weak from your illness makes it even more cruel of him. by the way the way he talks to you, if you two continue despite what just happened, is the way he will scol at your future kids if you have any.

One of the things, which I always kept to myself, that made me leave my ex and not return (first of all he had crossed the line of no return for me, no matter how he begged, no matter if we would go into counceling) was that I thought about a future child of ours. How that child would be treated by him. He did not know it, but I suspected I was pregnant with his, (of cource) and was waiting for the right time to tell him, and for me to take a test, but he was not in a good mood (mentally I suspect something was wrong with him). One of our last conversations was him being irritated. He would not, as usual but this time I had had it, tell me the cause of it, the real reason, something you can touch and feel, actually take a good look at and deal with it. It is a clear sign to me that you are being disrespected by someone who unfairly blames you about something but won't tell you what it is so you can deal with it. You are just wrong what it now is about you that is wrong, that what his message to me. I was just wrong with nothing legit. Something similar has happened to me later on too made by an individual who had serious mental issues and wanted to crack me open, I guess. It is not how a healthy fight goes on.

The only big warning sign, the only big wrong thing here that is winning big time if we compare what you have done, leaving the hospital too soon, asking for his help, is not something you have done, or is or is not, but his reaction, treatment of you.

I don't know if my ex ever put two and two together, remembered, counted, and I could never bring myself to say anything about it. But I do recall it was the first time I felt the need to protect myself. To think I don't deserve this. Or we (me and our baby) don't deserve this. I knew the baby's worth, so early, and I did not even know I was pregnant for sure yet (but had all the signs and was of course overdo). He was irritated and trying to pick a fight with me, trying to put me down, but was not giving me something I could work with. I did not fight back. I was afraid of him and protective of the unborn. I should have stood up for myself sooner, but it helped me to see this for what it was, that he was now, in a way doing this to the mother of his future child, therefor doing it to the child, and I couldn't have that. If I was in my bubble and he was frustaded about it, it still don't excuse what he said, treated me.

The more you accept of it, even if he says he is sorry but will get the same way the next time and I for one think he will, the more you get used to it what nobody should get used to. It is good you see it now and don't take it, accept it. If he stand a chance of getting rid of it he needs to recognize it, own up, wanting to change and then change (therapy). If he don't change this is how he will treat your kid in the future, no doubt about it, maybe less so because it is not as triggering as in a romantic relationship but he will still get this way to an amount and it will effect your kid in a bad way. So if not for you stand up for the kiddo, lol, no, but seriously.

[lightbulb27]

have opinion but I don't expend energy on anons. come out of hiding and I put energy in

[AI Opinion]

It sounds like you're caught in a tricky situation. While I'm not there to see it all unfold, hearing hurtful comments like that is a huge red flag, babe. 💔 Emotional mistreatment can be subtle, creeping in with words that cut deep. You're in the right to feel upset about the way he spoke to you. Communication is key in relationships, and without it, well, let's just say the love boat might steer off course. Remember, you're worthy of love, respect, and understanding! Follow your heart, and take care of yourself.

[JDLives]

Someone has anger management issues

[Anonymous]

Yeah i don't give a shit go fuck yourself