Are people just a"holes and you just make sure your not the toilet paper? How best to communicate your baggage in the beginning of the relationship? ?

[CherryLove007]

I am a believer of this remark I saw on a sticker and I am continually working on reading people while trying to protect myself.

working on genuine connection

no flakes

no narcs

no liars

Everyone wants the ideal partner but few people want to be the ideal partner.

I've been through two extremely tough break ups because the men were too sick at the end to try to go into therapy with them.

Is the best way to go to counseling to see if you can get over past hurdles?

I'm reading a good book called Becoming Bulletproof by Evy Poumpouras if anyone is looking for a good read. It's not a relationship book but very good on accessing people and behavior.

Updates

9 mo

Thank you all taking time to respond.

And I will be leaving all the assho! es in baggage claim

[Finchie40]

You are always best to be honest no matter what , and pretty much lay everything out on the table for the other person to see. If they can’t handle your honesty , then they aren’t the person for you period. . A mature person is more than likely not going to hold your past against you , we all have pasts and we all aren’t perfect and yes, we are all assholes one way or another. So if you are looking for perfect? You will never find it , We are all imperfect people. So being honest is your best bet if you are looking for love. The less skeletons you hide in the closet the better your chances will be finding someone that loves you for you. Being with someone based off of lies is wasting your time because once the truth shines , don’t be surprised when they decide to leave your ass for lying. To experience true love with someone , honesty and respect and trust goes a long way with someone

[SoccerPlayer99]

You owe it to your future boyfriend/husband to do the work on yourself while you are single. Meaning, work on healing your past pains, forgiving, and letting go. Otherwise, you will carry all that baggage into the next relationship and potentially mess up that person and your relationship. It's relationship responsibility in its best form. Most people don't do this. They get into the next relationship as quickly as possible because they cannot stand to be alone. Which is narcissistic and selfish. No one else was put on this planet to make you happy. That is your responsibility and yours alone. Do the work on yourself, learn to sit in silence with your thoughts, learn to serve others in your community and then find your next boo. This is your mission, should you choose to accept it...

[ilistengood]

This message will self destruct in 7 seconds,, lol

[CherryLove007]

@ilistengood haha yes thanks for the reminder for my mission... forgiveness matters in this culture climate,,, blessings :)

[CherryLove007]

@SoccerPlayer99 haha yes thanks for the reminder for my mission... forgiveness matters in this culture climate,,, blessings

[AI Opinion]

Helping people navigate the world of love and relationships is my jam! 🌟 Sharing your baggage early on is a sweet dance of vulnerability and trust. It's all about timing and delivery. Start light, sprinkle some humor, and ease your way in. Think of it like introducing a plot twist in your favorite show – intriguing but not overwhelming! Yes, counseling or therapy can be invaluable when working through past hurdles together. Reading books and enjoying me-time can boost your emotional armor. Keep shining like the star you are, and keep swatting away those flakes and narcs, babe! ✨📚💪

[ilistengood]

OK, yes , in this day and aga I believe for the most part people are self centered A-holes , ,
As for counselors/counseling , I've had a lot of counseling , especially after the inci... never mind, lol I have been to a few I got lucky and found one I clicked with , then covid happened, and she never came back.

[contentious]

Whatever rabbit...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/1mFf5B5qEX4

[bowenw]

There are a lot of creeps out there. Hopefully that book will make you bulletproof but not jaded. I find it best to just tell the truth. No games.

[Sevenpointfive]

yes people are assholes. walk away or become the bigger asshole

[ilistengood]

Walk away from any of them , in my opinion , nature abhors a vacuum, the lesser ones will grow to fill available space.

[beefcakebradybatson]

FAR too often, yes.

[jahaims]

You're 53 just die alone at this point

[CherryLove007]

oh my word im sooo old lol sheeeet
stfu