Is this being too needy?

[DollAlone]

My boyfriend and I been living together for a year now. There has been lots of times when we are both home but we just sit there and don't talk. He will be on his phone or drawing or doing something outside and always distracted. When I ask him if he can pay attention to me for a minute or spend some time with me, he gets annoyed or irritated and snaps at me claiming I'm too controlling or too needy. Or he will point out that we were together all day long and ask how much more time I need. I'm not talking about being in the same room as him as quality time, being silent for hours while doing separate things is far from quality time. But he has got me questioning my own boundaries now? Am I wrong for expecting some sorta interaction or conversation?

[HollyK21]

I don't know, every relationship is different. With my fiancé, we often sit in the same room doing our own things, but we’ll engage with each other too here and there, not ignore each other completely. On top of that we try having a date or dates when we’re not working, like it doesn’t feel as though we’re skipping a beat because we aren’t super chatty in our downtime.


You should ask yourself what exactly it is you want from him and have a conversation about that. Like are you feeling some sort of disconnect? Distant? Get to the root of your problem so that there’s the opportunity to address it.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

The problem is that you guys are spending a lot of time together, but you are dictating whether or not that time is "quality" and what defines it as such. If the arrangement isn't good enough for you now, imagine 10 years from now, imagine being married. That paperwork still won't be enough for you if everything stays the same.

He's setting boundaries, you are a part of his life, but not all of it. If you want it to work, then you should suggest going out and doing things, but don't call it "date night" or "quality time", it's borderline offensive to men and puts pressure on him to "change".

You need to decide if he's right for you, and if he's not, then why not end it and stop wasting each others' time.

[AviatorTom]

Be thankful he's in the same room as you. Many guys don't like to just talk, which seems to be what you're looking for. Suggest playing a game with him (cards, board game, video game) where you can spend time together, and talk if you want; just don't make it too serious.

[Nikki1989]

Your boyfriend's reaction is not only dismissive but also a form of emotional manipulation. Don't fall for it.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love – that delicate dance of attention and independence! You're not wrong to crave quality time over just sharing the same air. Maybe sprinkle some playful suggestions his way, like a game night or a spontaneous adventure, to pull him from his digital world and into yours. Everyone needs a reminder that being present is way more than just being around. Communicate your needs with a dash of charm and humor, and don't let his reactions diminish your desires. Love can be a beautiful art; sometimes it just needs a fresher canvas! 🎨❤️

[Likes2drive]

Do you guys have sex at least? but I can understand that you would want some type of attention once in a while and not just a roommate

[DollAlone]

Sex maybe a few times a week. Then it's back to being silent

[Likes2drive]

Maybe you guys need to go out sometimes like a date night

[bowenw]

It seems like he wants to be alone, so it may be best to let him have that while you spend time with someone that enjoys your company.

[Anonymous]

Find someone that wants to spend time with you

[Anonymous]

Maybe they are angry at u for something