Am I being too needy?

Question

I’ve known this guy since early November. Everything was going great then he randomly told me he wasn’t over his ex and he didn’t want to continue with me. Left it on a good note telling him I get it, I understand. Two weeks later he starts blowing up my phone saying he now wants a relationship, he then introduces me to his friends/family so I’m thinking he’s serious right? Well I sleep with him then I get no call/texts….. went to have a conversation with him the next weekend about how I didn’t like his communication pattern he apologized and I ended up sleeping with him again. Left the next day after and lo and behold the same pattern, the only difference is this time he’s posting on his stories hanging out with his friends. What the heck do I do? This is literally the first guy I’ve liked in a ling time hence why I gave him a second chance…

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

The problem here is that you and he never discussed what you two are.

Are you in a relationship? Are you seeing each other? Are you just friends with benefits? Does he even want a relationship right now.

Giving him a second chance isn't necessarily the problem.

He might be an asshole, or he might be a good guy. I can't tell yet.

(you're welcome to give me more information and I can give you a more thorough answer)

I'm inclined to think he might be an asshole. Either way, the way he's treating you right now has to stop. So you do that by having the full conversation about rules, and expectations and all that good stuff. Everybody should leave that conversation with nothing left unclear. How many times or how often exactly do you expect him to text. ... Well you need to tell him.

That is, if you even want to continue. SO far it seems the only change he made when you complained about lack of communication was letting you know he's hanging out with friends by posting

So for this guy, or for one in the future... talking about expectations is key to not getting hurt. I would say... don't ever sleep with anyone unless you know exactly what the sex means and what you can expect afterwards.

I've never in my life had sex with a girl that meant nothing to me, unless I was 100% clear about the fact that this was just for fun, I'm not going to call you. While that can be a little awkward depending. It's important she know, so she can choose not to sleep with me.

So if you do keep seeing him. You need to have a thorough talk about this.

🙂

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Not being too needy. You want casual sex and he’s there

Am I being too needy?

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