Is lying to your partner bad no matter what the lie is?

[dwreborn]

What if it's just a innocent fib or is it a serious lie examples would be nice

[Chazmatazz269]

There are exceptions to the fundamental idea that all lies are bad. Jokes, magic tricks, and pleasant surprises often require some kind of deception to be effective and meaningful.
Beyond that, and some i might have missed, all deception is selfish and wicked. Even those “little white lies” people tell themselves they’re practicing because they don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings, terrible. The truth always comes out. No exceptions. So when your partner, friend or relative learns the truth the hard way, they have to contend with the embarrassment and shame of the truth AND the fact that someone they trust lied to them. You’re not sparing their feelings. You’re literally compounding the hurt by not simply being honest up front and always. We lie to spare our own feelings. We don’t want to experience the shame of the truth for ourselves, or that of possibly hurting someone we care about. They WILL feel the sting of uncomfortable truths. Are we big enough to help them through it? Or will we dodge that responsibility and attempt to console them after the fact?
I prefer honesty. I offer exclusively that, and i demand it in return.

[Finchie40]

If You have to lie to your partner , then your partner isn’t a good match for you period , because you should never lie to someone you claim to love , so you are only lying to yourself thinking you actually love and care about them. Why honesty is important in an loving relationship, if you want your relationship to last and for love to continue not grow between you both

[Screenwriter]

Some lies are weighty and important. Others are insignificant.

You stayed out too late at lunch with your gal pal and dinner was late. But you say you took too long at the grocery. Partner doesn't like your gal pal. Why stir up resentment over that? Doesn't matter. Maybe you tell him later...

However, if you're lying about why dinner was late and you're having an affair with Joe Glo, that kind of lie is another matter entirely. It's a threat to your relationship with your spouse, your kids, your in-laws... everyone and everything. That kind of lying is the start of all sorts of long-term mess.

Then there's the guilt about lying about something important that you're doing or mis-doing. You're cheating everyone who depends on you, and yourself. That's when lying is a bad choice.

[dwreborn]

That first paragraph that's not a good because ur lying about who you are with and where you was that's not good in my book at all

[dwreborn]

Might as well be cheating if you lie about being with opposite sex it's gonna look that way even if it is totally innocent

[Screenwriter]

This was about a woman being with another woman friend her male SO doesn't like. She chooses not to say she was late making dinner because she was with the friend her SO doesn't like. Has nothing to do with being with another man.

And if she WERE with a man friend, who is nothing more to her, having lunch, that is NOT cheating. How does it "look that way" if it's "innocent"? The sole problem is the SO doesn't like the person for whatever reason. Personality, jealousy. But, a friend is a friend.

My choice of not being honest about the lunch running overtime is about not raising a tempest over something unimportant.

"Might as well be cheating"!!! What? You might as well be having a sexual relationship with someone outside your main relationship and sneaking around doing so even if that particular lunch had nothing to do with cheating? That makes absolutely no sense at all, because that would be a far worse lie.

[mistixs]

There’s nuance. Like if your partner got a bad haircut and if they’re about to go into a job interview and there is not enough time to fix it. Just say it looks great so you don’t destroy their confidence before the interview and then help them fix it after. That is one example of when a lie is okay. Context matters

Of course there are lies that are inexcusable, like denying you have an STD or that you’ve cheated

[dwreborn]

Yes there is a lot of different scenarios if you are wondering where they are or what there doing and they lie that's a problem for me I may forgive them but they can't expect me not to question it next time

[SoccerPlayer99]

Sooooo tell you what you want to hear because your fragile emotions can't handle the truth? Got it

[AI Opinion]

My goal here is to sprinkle a bit of clarity on the relationship rollercoaster. Lying, whether it's a "cute little fib" or the Mount Everest of fibs, can create trust issues. Honesty's like the glue in relationships. Even seemingly innocent fibs can snowball into drama. Picture it—a lie about liking your partner's cooking suddenly becomes a culinary nightmare. 😂 So, keep it honest, and you'll be swapping love notes, not red flags! 🔥

[jennifer_bloom]

Your lover is not your God and lying to your lover is no better or worse than lying to anybody else in your life.

And I think it is okay to lie about certain things, like if a friend does not show up at a party because they hate the person who invited them, I might go to the party and say, the person who did not show was busy, instead of saying the person did not show up at the party because they hated the person who invited them.

[AviatorTom]

There are different levels of badness Some lies, especially small ones, might be acceptable.

Say you're planning a surprise party for your spouse. If you lie and tell them that have to be someplace other than at home on the day of the party, so you can prepare for the party, that's a lie, but most people would consider it to be an acceptable one.

[HawkPerception]

I can't imagine a single scenario where lying is good. The truth hurts, but it needs to be accepted. If you love someone, you tell them the truth. No matter if it hurts them or not.

[aaron13547]

I think so because a lie to your partner is a lie to yourself. We all tell people little lies like we didn't mind watching there kids, they were "good" kids. But that makes them think they do have good mannered kids and they don't teach them better. They also think you didn't mind watching there and it's no problem to do it again... little lies lend to more suffering always. I used kids an example because everyone is suppose to love there kids good or bad. I think everyone knows that part of being a kid is making mistakes and learning. yet we don't blame the kid for learning we blame them for not learn... at the same time we do things like lie about how they were good when they weren't so no one learns... you can't blame a kid for your little lie. That's why I think little lies are always bad... snowball effect.

[MisterWack]

Dictionary. com defines a lie as, “a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth.”

What would fall under this definition? Gaslighting would be an example of a lie.

An innocent fib would not.

I believe there are situations that call for lying , though to do it often in every scenario possible is not good for a long term healthy relationship since those are built on trust. Trust needs to be intact or else it all tumbles down.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

No, that dress doesn't make you look fat (not a lie)

Because your fat makes you look fat (the part you don't say out loud, but supports the lie)

So, it's not a lie.

You can maintain 100% honesty without fallout if you are clever enough :)

[Anonymous]

No. Especially lies of omission. We hate to admit it but lying actually keeps the world spinning. The world would unravel if everybody always told the truth.

The difference is being deliberately and maliciously deceptive. That's No Bueno.

[dwreborn]

Ya I get that I think I know couple of people who do it so much they believe it themselves and that's how they are looked at by everyone. Someone who is a bullshiter is technically a lier I guess but is it just fun storytelling it depends so much for me is the question that's being asked, who iam asking and who iam I asking

[stayorgo]

Come on here everyone we are lie stop that. Lies are necessary and so many different reasons. If you are really not lying yet.
You will someday in life. They are meant to protec , to nurture BUT AT THE SAME TIME.
YES THEY CAN CAUSE HARM AND PAIN , use\nThem wisely you know the difference

[Keyboardkat]

Yes! Because a love relationship must be built on trust! If you cannot trust your partner, what kind of a relationship is that?

[dwreborn]

Totally agree u can't have a heathly one without trust once it's broken its hard to come back from

[dwreborn]

Not a good one

[Anonymous]

Back in college, I had a friend pretend to be a doctor and call me with horrible news about my health. He was very convincing and kept name of the illness vague but, it sounded so awful and gross from the way he described it, she just stopped taking my calls and kind of ghosted me.

So technically it was my friend who told the lie and not me.

[dustybiker2]

I wouldn't. Not even for a surprise party. But that is who I am. I find there is powerful trust in that.
Everyone handles their own life.

[DrPepper12]

No. All lies have purpose and that purpose could be well intended.

[mysteriousNicholas]

Especially if it was the last cookie in the cookie jar 🍪 🍪 🫙

[mysteriousNicholas]

@dwreborn there's a Seinfeld episode like your question poses "Jerry, (says George in the diner as J gets up) : 'its not a lie, if you believe it's -) typical George, always a naughty man 🥳😃😃

[Nikki1989]

There is never an excuse to lie to your partner.

[SoccerPlayer99]

So it's ok to tell her she put on a few pounds and that the dress makes her look fat? Got it!

[dwreborn]

Most people say yes be honest but I couldn't do that to my wife if I said that I would cause a lot more problems then lying about it I would prob hear "you should tell me dress looks good no matter how fat I am" bout sum it up

[dwreborn]

Learned to pick my battles I guess

[robocop666]

my dad had minor legal problems he lied to us all about. it was not about him but his brother and he was involved. I dunno what it is. harmless.

[dwreborn]

Ya a lot of different opinions about this question it all depends on type of person, relationship, situation etc. etc. but in my life and my wife some of those little lies to to keep my wife happy are a must when it comes to her looks and stuff if she asks me if she's fat iam gonna say no I love u no matter what but if you lost some you would look even better and probably feel better and healthy

[Ariesman81]

Lies inhibit growth and understanding under the guise of caring about someone's feelings. How much do I have to hate someone to lie to them?

[janemarie15]

Aw guilty on this haha I'm being white lies. But it's not about cheating or what. I chose to keep it. Coz nothing so much important to tell.

[Anonymous]

It's usually bad, but sometimes people lie just to protect their partners from the ugly truth.

[LiamJHayden]

No. If one is planning a surprise party, for example.

[Rena0]

Especially if their small what happens when it’s something big?

[Abbycado]

Yes, of course it is no matter what.

[dwreborn]

What about if the answer is going to hurt your partner for instance "do you think I've gained weight"or how does this shirt look on me? Would you always say no you haven't gained weight and that shirt looks great

[dwreborn]

Or is that just a lose lose question

[Abbycado]

I’d be honest. That’s just how I am. People shouldn’t ask questions if they don’t want the real answers. What good would it do if someone was slacking on diet and exercise and gained weight and you just tell them “nah, you haven’t”

Then guess what? They might think to themselves “hey, I don’t really have to put any effort in and can eat what I want”. That’s not good to give someone that idea.

[dwreborn]

Ya you are right what I find a lot of times with friends is their partner will ask where they are and they say at store when they are at my house I ask why didn't you just say you were here and I hear it's just easier to tell her that because I will have to explain why iam here and when I be home and to me that seems like a problem that's gonna get worse and the fact she's gonna think iam involved with lie also I don't know everyone is different but that's why people are interesting

[anon1903]

Depends on how much it affects their lives

[sage2021]

Lying 🤥 is always wrong!!

[DishLady]

Yes.

[qwerty2469]

Lying is necessary for a happy marriage

[Pterodon]

Yes.

[Gabriel-Chicanito]

Yes.

[dwreborn]

Got an example if you feel comfortable doing so?

[jimmy2]

All truths come out