I used to want to be in a relationship but now I’m completely turned off by it, is this it?

[Anonymous]

Once I turned 16 I wanted to be in a relationship but didn’t fully act on it I was young I was in school and I wanted to go to college, so I held off on it until I turned 19. That’s when I slowly started seeing things and drifted away from wanting to date. I’ve always heard older women say “once you get in to your 30’s you realize things you were naive about” and I guess I caught on way earlier.
I’m interested in men, I’ve always dreamed of being married to a nice guy who loves and cares about me. I even started saving up money at 16 to put towards buying a house, but now I don’t think I’m ever going to get that.
I’ve always known men love sex, just as I know that a relationship includes sex. But what I didn’t know is that they make sex into everything. That even if I cook, clean, love, have intimacy and care for a guy it’ll never be enough. Because they will always expect more sex than what I’m wanting to give.
Apparently 3-4 times a week is too little since they want it every single day. They say they only feel loved if the woman is having sex with them. I don’t want marriage or a relationship if that’s how a man is going to be, when I could just take care of myself with the 84k that I’ve saved up since I was 16.

Updates

10 mo

That being said, I have so much love to give that I want to give, but I don’t want to give my love to a man who does not deserve me or my heart

[Finchie40]

You give me sex 3 to 4 times a week , I wouldn’t complain whatsoever lol unfortunately today’s’ society has gone to hell in a hand basket, I blame a lot of it on social media brain washing our minds to believe every guy or girl is a cheater , liar, backstabber etc.. before social media apps were really a thing , people actually valued and respected each other more because we weren’t brainwashed by constant nonsense. So if you want a happy long lasting relationship with someone , I suggest you put down social media as much as possible even your cell phone. When I date a girl nowadays , my cell phone no longer becomes my priority , because it can easily suck you in and make you think horrible things about the person you are in a relationship with , most of the shit you see and read about is garbage , Social media was designed as a money making platform to brainwash people into believing nonsense to make money , Most the memes you read on social media about relationships and cheating and affairs , were out there by divorce attorneys’ to make money. So if allow social media to play a part in your relationship, you are the problem, not your partner. Most of us guys’ want to experience true love , and want to be with a girl that makes us feel wanted and valued and loved , yes sex is important to us , but that’s how most of us were made , having sex with a girl is our way of feeling closer to her , it’s how we express our feelings and emotions to her , where girls’ on the other hand show her emotions verbally. Guys’ and Girls’ have different brains , a Girls’ brain races with a 1000 things at once , when a guys’ brain doesn’t even come close lol , They have done studies on this and figured out pretty much why Guys’ and Girls’ think differently. Most of us guys’ want to feel wanted and respected and loved by our girlfriend or wife , if she constantly denies him intimacy and affection, he is going to feel like she doesn’t love or care or want him anymore and he might assume she is getting it elsewhere. Unfortunately you girls’ can feel the same if your man all of a sudden doesn’t want to have sex with you as much as he did before. So if you want to experience a loving lasting relationship with someone , I suggest you learn how to remove selfishness. Selfishness is one of the biggest relationship killers and there is a lot of selfish people out there. So if you learn to remove selfishness for
Your partner, I guarantee you will experience a longer lasting loving relationship with someone. Removing selfishness just means you wear your partners’ shoes before wearing your own when it
Comes to making decisions , always think how your partner might feel before acting on whatever it is , when your partner realizes you are respecting them they more than likely will do the same for you in return. Relationships take 2 people , not one

[aceleon]

seek out asexual guys or lesbians.

i can say nothing else to you, this is what we are, either blame the evolution or God if you are a believer.

but this is how it is, if we weren't so sexually driven most of us wouldn't even look at womans way.

also 3-4 times a week? how old are you? 40? most guys jerks off that amount in a single day.

also cook clean love and have intimacy and care for the guy?

cooking and cleaning is not an option darling most guys are not able to cook and they would rather eat outside instead of learning it so if you don't want high blood pressure or starvation you have to cook.

love? as in? we are not pets or kids, how do you plan to show love for us? pet our heads? hugs? totaly empty words of love since they have nothing to back it up and we are not really emotional with words? give presents for us while everyone knows that most girls has bad taste in what to give man?

intimacy as in? physical intimacy without sex is just torture not something we actually appreciate, it is taking a kid to a candy store and not buying them anything.

care for us? like? if we are a normal person we already have people in our lives that cares for us why would we do so many things to gain a single more people to care for us?

as long as you judge us from the perspective of a woman you better of never engaging with anything with a dick between his legs.

either get a female dog (since you are so done with us males) or go bisexual.

[Asker]

I’m not sure why I’m expected to cook and clean for a guy, it’s not my fault men don’t know how to cook. It’s because I want to cook, also why would I seek out an asexual? And why is it a big deal that I would want sex 3-4 times a week? I’m 23, I’m not sure exactly why you read my post a whole different way than it was intended but geez. Where exactly did I state that intimacy does not have sex included? It’s not like taking candy from a kid, but then again you are one of the men that I’d be staying away from based on the way you are speaking. It seems like you’d be an angry lover, which I don’t want. I’m not bisexual and I’m not attracted to women. Also I’ll engage with any man that I want to, don’t tell me not to lol. I am a woman not a man, so how exactly would I not judge you from the prospective of a woman?
I don’t have bad taste in what to gift a man, I have a father and two brothers all of my cousins are male. They are the ones who set the standards for me and told me to always avoid guys who want sex all the time and qualify sex as love in a relationship because that would mean that I am being used. That’s certainly a perk of having mainly male family, they guide me away from weirdos. I’m not sure why you guys on this app are like this when someone is asking a genuine question, you sit and criticize every single thing a girl says. When exactly did I say I was done with “males”? I said “ I don’t want marriage or a relationship if that’s how a man is going to be, when I could just take care of myself” meaning I’ll take care of myself with the money I’ve saved up until I do find a guy. So where does any of what I said say I’m done with “males”? Nowhere exactly, but then again I should remind myself that the guys on this app except for a few are really just losers who don’t view women as actual people, but for there use.

[aceleon]

1- that's it, i will go and write NO, İ'M NOT ANGRY to my profile when i stopped forgetting it. i'm not angry for f sake what the hell is wrong with you people, why does everyone thinks i'm angry?
2- asexuals don't seek sex from you, wasn't that what you were having problem with it?
3- you are expected to cook FOR YOURSELF or else you will have to get used to eating out or starvation since most of us won't do it for you.
4- i don't know, maybe i hoped you had something called cognitive emphaty?
5- your male relatives told that to you because they know how we work, they are not different from us they are just trying to look different to you since they don't want you in that way so you are not a target you are something to protect.
6-loser? for not viewing you as people? girl you confuse evil with loser, loser is someone who never gets what they want and bound to fail, evil is people with dark triad personality traits, people with dark triad personality traits seldom fails at anything. you take loser for people that doesn't fit into my idea of morality.
7-didn't you get what was wrong about your prefernce for sex amount from my previous reply to you?

[Asker]

There isn’t anything wrong with my preference in the amount sex, just because you want it more than that doesn’t mean that there isn’t another man who wants the same amount that I want a week. Trust me on this one I live with my brothers we all work from home and there home all damn day they are waiting on a girl who isn’t sleeping around and will be there for them emotionally. We talk about these all the time, they aren’t super into sex either. Not saying they aren’t different lmao but I know them both like the back of my hand, we tell each other everything. They know how other guys are because they have cut off friends who do the whole sleeping with multiple women without being in a relationship. Of course I’m going to cook for myself, I’m not that stupid. Yeah not going to go look for an asexual, I’m looking for a guy who isn’t going to use me for sex, you know like a guy who isn’t strictly with me because of sex. I have a problem with guys who are just in a relationship strictly for sex, yeah cool you want to have sex in the relationship but being in a relationship with me only because you want to have sex with me? No not happening. Lmao everyone has a different view of what a loser is.

[aceleon]

1- hope you find it then
2-just because your brothers are prudes who are into fairy tale love stories doesn't mean they are not different , it means THEY ARE DİFFERENT. also slut shaming a man is a medal of honour for them you know that right?
3- every guy will want you for sex at first, this is how we opperate, we want sex and then fall for the girl if we will, our brains works opposite to yours, you first love then get attracted we first get attracted then love, no guy will approach you because of your winning personality first, they will first approach because they will want you sexually AT FİRST there is nothing strict about it here.
4- my view of loser is using the term from dictionary so unless you deny dictionary for your individualistic beliefs no, loser means this not that (and if you gonna deny the dictionary on this might as well call yourself bisexual too if you want since your view on it is more important than what the word actually implies)
do yourself a favour, let your relatives find you your future husband, because you likely won't find the mr. love with minimal passion in it yourself.

[Asker]

Why is it that if someone doesn’t want sex all the time there a prude? A prude is someone who objects to any mention of sex or uncomfortable with sex. When did I state anything regarding objecting? I said I don’t want a guy who wants sex all the time and that I’d want to do it 3-4 times a week. That’s not being prude, neither are my brothers because they don’t want to sleep around. Funny how “slut shaming” is a medal for a man but a woman who does it is deemed as a negative a little hypocritical ain’t it.
But then again you are just stating what you would do regarding wanting a girl for sex lol. Look dude not every single guy is like you, they are guys who take a women wanting to sleep with them in the first date as bad. Every guy won’t want me for sex at first, that’s just how your mind has been tainted over the years.
Just because that’s how you think doesn’t mean every single man is like that. Geez a badge of honor for having community dick and std’s? Geez men like you have really fallen down so far.

[aceleon]

1-at first i used wrong term, when said prude i was trying to say, too pure and green but after seeing your last part, yes you are a prude if you think my way of living as falling down and tainted.
2-hypocrisy? i could write a book about how male and female is absolutely different in that regard and should be treated differently but no need for that since i really don't give a damn about being a hypocrite, better than leftovers.
3-yes we take you wanting sleeping with us at first date as bad because like you said we deem female sluthood as negative, that doesn't mean we don't want the sex at first date, we don't want the girl who would be so easy to bed cuz she would be like that with everyone.
4-no they will, they just also want you as a relationship WİTH İT.
5-community dick and std? yes a community dick which means it is regarded good enough for public usage instead of disappointing someone for the rest of your life like the guys you mention would. std is for stupids, if you are not able to protect yourself and your health it is a given.
did i fall so down because i have no desire for what you call love and just want fun? stop enforcing your own sense of morality to others, do you call allosexual (has sexual attraction) aromantics (people with no romantic attraction) fallen down so low too?
wake up girly, not everyone gives the same importance to what you hold so dear and treats the thing you called not as important as not as important.
like i said, have your brothers find your husband or else enjoy the singlehood.

[Asker]

I heard you very clearly that I need to head off this app and speak to the men that have actually matured. Got it, thanks for nothing bud

[aceleon]

matured? omg, how much of a narcisst will you present as? calling people that doesn't fit into your ideas immature? do everyone a favour and not get a girl, dog or husband, isolate yourself because you are easily the most toxic person i ever saw here, taking your individualistic ideas as the objective truth and insulting people for it.
any blood relation with dictators?

[Asker]

I’m not into women so obviously I won’t get a girl. See how I said matured men and you start talking about what I shouldn’t do… but apparently a toxic person… geez dude did you see the shit you were saying at the beginning? Or was that just me lol. Yeah men that are mature aren’t viewing women as objects to stick there dicks in let alone calling a women prude because she doesn’t want sex 24/7. You sound like the guys I went to high school with. A boy not a man. Lmao when did I insult without a cause? Cause you insulted me by calling me prude lol so I just came right back at you.
Narcisst? Me? Never. No I won’t isolate myself dude maybe you should and stay away from watching porn while you’re at it, it’s tainted your mind enough. Time to delete this app now

[aceleon]

yeah yeah whatever you say mysandrystic narcisst.

[jennifer_bloom]

The reason you are so obsessed with that guy is that you have holes in your soul and spirit you have not dealt with by going to God with for healing and restoration. A mentally healthy person isn't obsessed with the person they are dating or want to date.

[Asker]

Where exactly did I say I was obsessed with a guy? And where did I say I am with a guy? I think you missed the point there isn’t a person I like or am dating… god doesn’t heal everything he’s shown me that over the years of actively believing in him and praying to him. I went to god for 16 years and that man hasn’t done anything when i’ve asked him to help me heal or to help restore. Like I said there isn’t anyone I like right now and I am not dating so there is no one to obsess over.
I literally said I don’t want end up with a man who wants me only for sex… reread dude or just don’t respond

[AI Opinion]

My goal on Girls Ask Guys is to shed light on the rollercoaster ride of relationships and bring some clarity to those complex emotions! 😄

It sounds like you've had a change of heart about relationships, and that's perfectly okay! Falling out of love with the idea of dating can happen when expectations meet reality. But remember, not every relationship is one-size-fits-all. Communication is the foundation. There are guys who value emotional connection over just physical intimacy. Trust me, love doesn't come with a script, and you'll find what works for you! 💕 Keep that dream of a loving marriage alive, if that's truly what you desire. Your worth isn't tied to how often you decide to have sex in a relationship. 😊

[DonaldDarko]

The whole thing isn't what it's made out to be. It's brutal and animalistic when looked at objectively. There is a saying that nature only goes as far as it has to. I believe this is true. So long as offspring are produced the parents can be sacrificed. Reproduction is in fact the only instinct we have that doesn't favor your survival but that of your offspring.

[Asker]

Good thing I do not want to reproduce, why? Because of how men are, if I find a good one then yes I would possibly like to. Heavy on the possibly

[DonaldDarko]

How men are is dictated by evolution. It was probably decided some time back in the Ediacaran. Of course evolution is an ongoing process. Your current revulsion comes from your complex human brain. Your disposition is to be expected and so also an evolutionary pressure. It is not uncommon. While your body tells you to reproduce, perhaps your brain is telling you to evolve. I believe we can eventually find artificial ways to reproduce using technology. This will free us from the need and maybe eventually from sexuality it's self.

[Asker]

My body isn’t signaling for me to reproduce at all, sorry. If it was then I’d be sleeping with a random guy. But it isn’t, so I don’t sleep with anyone

[DonaldDarko]

I don't think you would, not everyone is promiscuous. You still have a brain and can think. I'm basing what I say on your original post. "I’m interested in men, I’ve always dreamed of being married to a nice guy who loves and cares about me".

[Berethor]

Why is that a problem to have it every day? some men are okay with 3-4 times a week.

[Asker]

Ignoring this. i hate guys like you, or more so I hate you.
Don’t comment again thank you.

[BarryLiverstone]

Seems like you ask this question often on here. Why is that?

[Asker]

Because I want to hear opinions from guys that aren’t trolling

[BarryLiverstone]

Well we have talked about these things in dm. Are you just asking to hear from new guys everyday?

[Twalli]

3-4 times a week is enough if we live together. If not, I'm going to want sex most of the time we're together.

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel, I'm already too old for a relationship, and I never actually had one.

(Still a virgin)