Can jealousy be gone forever?

[Noredcarpet]

Please forgive me, I asked something about jealousy before, but this is not the same but similar. If you have struggled with being jealous before of your partner, but you promised to deal with it, take the blame for it, can it still return? My ex had his cycles of jealousy that always returned and I couldn't figure it out. I never flirted with anyone, never cheated, did not do anything wrong to spark his jealousy. He could never claim I had done him wrong. When we did part ways the jealousy was not known to others to blame or be part of the reason we broke up, but I realized how bad it has been and how it effected me. The break up turned out to be more difficult than I had at first imagined, but I guess that's another story but I know the impact it had as well. I promised myself I would end a relationship if I would exoerience the same thing again. Once I felt safe and secured in my relationship with my partner I mentioned I had been in a previous relationship where his jealousy was a reason I was unhappy. What some do not seem to get is that because of all the jealous games, controlling you who are subjected to it do anything but glow and get a good self confidence out of it. Instead you become insecure, you try to predict anything that can set it off, you are way less spontanous, open. My fear was that my partner (now ex) could hurt another guy and just in general show off as bad attitude. When my current partner got jealous he too got a pretty bad attitude towards others. I could tell something was up and by his lack of manners I felt embarrassed he was like that. Today he seems clear of it, but I still keep things to myself, afraid. Things I would like to tell him, share stories of what my day has been like, only I don't dare to mention anything if it involves another guy,. Should I or does noboby do this because you do not want to give your partner the wrong idea? I have only bern with ex that were jealous, so I don't know what's normal or not.

Updates

8 mo

Update. The jealousy part is difficult to adress with him. Always he wants that conversation done with as soon as possible for reasons that he says he don't want to be in the same box as my ex, knowing how his jealousy effected me back then, me having told him, something I thought would be something I never had to go through again. I have become more educated in all the ways jealousy shows it face and recognize more than before. Been verified that how it makes me feel is only natural.

[jahaims]

Jealousy is an immature emotion in most cases. If you have a healthy relationship with a partner who respects you, you shouldn't feel jealousy.

[Noredcarpet]

Yes, it doesn't make sence to me why the ex was like that, or my current, and hopefully til death do us part partner. In a analytical way lets say my ex reacted with jealousy because some guy I had no interest in was hitting on me, and I showed him that without being disrespectful in any way. It ism't that hard to say something along the line thank you, but I'm not single, or thank you, but Im in love with someone else. Its not as if Im that hot, I only happened to be somewhere and this happened. I have thought to myself how on earth would they be able to handle if I was hot stuff, instead of this girl next door with my pro and cons, but I guess I will never know, LOL. In logical terms if I am not into someone else like that and have this strong boundary, integrity, my terms what I allow myself to do or not while in a relationship, it should not matter who ever, what ever happens.
Last my parent cheated and I know those signs. I always felt safe in knowing those signs as I could tell then if my partner would get them, then I'd be on the alert mission, but considering none of them did, I wasn't worried, jealous. I have felt so foolish as I have not understood what I have done wrong to cause the jealousy in the first place and my ex and my partner never told me I am quilty. All I know for sure about both of them is that their parents had it stormy. From what I know of my parent's story is that it wasn't stormy for a long, long time. I know what happened wad because a vulnerability, a fault, in my cheating parent, so I didn't feel as if it was my other parent's fault. Not saying the other parent was perfect. I only thought if you have done this then you are to blame for your own choice. I knew that one of my parents could stand alone, but the orher parent that cheated did not stand on the same foundation, could not make it alone, was weaker that way. Sorry, I go on and on. What I want to say is that lets play with the thought I would cheat then I am 100% to blame

[RedInnocent69]

No, it comes back eventually

[Noredcarpet]

Yes it always did, sadly, with my ex, but then again he didn't to my knowledge at least seek any treatment for it. My current have but in general, he has had a few jealous hick ups along the treatment that I am aware of. The thing is he has for long periods kept much of his jealousy hidden and both fed it and sought piece of mind by having me monitered without me suspecting it. It is as if I permitted a crime and broke his trust, only I haven't, and he doesn't think so too. Even when he was leaving me to lets say travel, work related stuff, it was as if it was me who had left him. He was constantly on the phone, calling, texting. I thought we would get in touch now and then, understood he was busy. It was one of the clues, only I did not get it, that it had to do with jealousy, control.

[AI Opinion]

As a love guru aiming to help you navigate these relationship waves, I can tell you that jealousy doesn't just vanish into thin air, darling! It's like a pesky mosquito, popping up when you least expect it. The key is open communication and setting boundaries. Trust and honesty are your secret weapons. If your beau gets a little green-eyed, remind him that past relationships don't dictate your future connections. Do your thing confidently and make sure he knows insecurity isn't your style. You deserve to share your life freely, without fear. Stay strong! 😊❤️

[Billlewis]

Like its close relative. extramarital/extracurricular sex, jealousy has a profoundly different set of consequences when it is experienced by one gender versus the other. I wouldn't dream of knowingly or intentionally making a woman jealous, but if any woman, anywhere, at any time, makes a deliberate, conscious effort to bestow a vicious, maddeningly frustrating prick teasing to my born again virgin wuss weenie, she shouldn't be surprised when I fall hopelessly in love with her, and beg her to take advantage of me copiously and without a care in the world.

[Anonymous]

I believe it's possible.

[Noredcarpet]

God, I hope so. I don't want to mess this up by accidently triggering something.

[mat678]

If you can be happy with what you have then yes