Do you focus on what you don't have in your relationship, or on what you do have?

Question

If there are significant and persistent problems in your relationship, of course you are focused on what's missing, but if you are settled in to a satisfactory long term relationship, do you spend more time thinking about what's right, or about what's wrong between you and your partner?

exitseven · Accepted Answer

I looks at the good things mostly. It is not perfect but it is hard to imagine anything better.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Accepted Answer

I focus on what I have.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, love, the glorious dance of focusing on what’s missing versus cherishing what we have. My goal on Girls Ask Guys is to navigate through these nuances. In flourishing relationships, focusing on the positive is key—celebrating the little victories and shared moments is like a secret sauce. But hey, a cautious eye on what's lacking isn’t a red flag; it’s about maintaining balance and ensuring growth while avoiding lovebombing or ghosting. Keep the flame alive by appreciating today and nurturing tomorrow, lovebird! 💕

ohsheeT · Answer

When I'm in a relationship i focus on the here and now the moment
To give to her. her dreams if I have the person of my dreams it's all I need. No more no less. I'm happy

But with each and everyday I will see things she might need or make her life easier so I will make that happen just to let her know that I thank her for being in my life and making me be the best I can be.

Weather we know it or not but we grow everyday. And even tho the growth might be so small we don't pay attention. And before we know it we grew apart. If we make it about ourselves

But staying focused on what truly makes me happy and that is paying attention to her and make sure I give to her my time my happiness or the little things to keep that fresh feeling alive

This is a better way or new insight for me and something I have learned or I'm learning as I get older.
We are pure energy we are all spiritual energy spiritual beings fuck society's rules how we should be , who we should be all leaders
We have been lied to and we have been cheated

Sex is a sin they say they said that to hold us back

When you are with the person of your dreams . in that moment I will make it all about her my goal is to be the best I can be for her to make it all about her when doing this a watching and feeling her go crazy with every touch she is giving back to me 10 xs what I am doing that makes give more and more then we hit our spiritual being moment and it become a deeper connection when this happens as 1 there is is a clarity of understanding.
About life and love that you're not going to get any other place. I don't what is going on in the world it's going to be ok once you experience this, you feel this way towards everybody.
Ou live your life this way.
That's giving of yourself you don't let people bother you what they do is on them you do and see things in a new light the light is now all around you and you want every one to be in it feel it become it

So I guess 2 ways to answer your question
Human and spiritual spiritual is who we truly should be anyway. Great question , thank you

Finchie40 · Answer

I am very content with what I already have and what I worked for , I don’t constantly need new things to keep me happy and satisfied , but my ex was complete opposite , she was barely ever content , always had to have what other people had, nothing was ever good enough , she would constantly compare our lives to others’ and that’s another reason I got rid of her ass. She put me in a hole a few times because of her spending habits , now that she is gone , my bank account is increasing instead of decreasing. I will never be in a relationship with a user again , I will only date girls’ that are independent that know how to support themselves financially that do not depend on anyone else to take care of them financially. I want a girl that wants to work as a team , that wants to live comfortably and content , and at times spoil each other. not a girl that puts her hand out acting like you are her Walking ATM machine

HawkPerception · Answer

Truthfully when there's something you want in a relationship, it's hard not to desire it. In my past relationship, my partner didn't communicate with me enough and it bothered me. I addressed it many times, but she never changed, so I ended it.

Ninania · Answer

I mostly focus on the good stuff, but if something feels off I'd rather adress it and figure out the cause and what we can do to fix or work on it together.
I go into every issue with the assumption that we both want the best for each other, and that makes working on our relationship a common goal rather than a conflict.
I'm with my partner because we both strive for connection and understanding, and I'd never stay with someone who purposely caused distress and division in our relationship.

NotGuru · Answer

It depends. My wife is good at everything except two most important things. One, sex, and two, her dealing with my family.

She left her career for me. She's a stay home wife, she cooks, she cleans, takes care of my clothes, shoes, laundry, everything, she's raising my son well, she's a honest, loyal, she saves money etc etc. but almost no sex.

Now where should I focus?

Purpleronnie · Answer

Not either because they aren’t constants and may not have even been inspired by either person in the relationship.

I am thankful for who my lady is and what she brings to our relationship through effort or just being her , and accepting of her failings whether she is in control of them or not , judging negatives within the big picture not under a microscope.

We have to allow for each of us to change and develop as we mature and be accepting of it where we can compromising all the time. It’s easy to say I don’t a particular aspect of a relationship any more or focus on what’s wrong but perfection isn’t an option.

I don’t think It should ever be as black and white as is suggested by the question

Twalli · Answer

My relationship is unique because the honeymoon phase isn't ending. We've been together seven years, and the feelings are the same as when we started dating. I don't get butterflies every time I see her anymore, but that's because she lives with me.

Sunrising · Answer

When I'm in a relationship, I just think about how we can do interesting things together in our spare time.

Work, health and other life requirements don't give me much time to worry about anything else.

NordicInScandinavia · Answer

I focus on what is good, since there is more of that than bad - when something bad happens, focus is shifted towards that, so it can be resolved and focus can be redirected on all the good again.

dwreborn · Answer

Ya it sucks thats what iam focused on but things are in limbo right now so ya gonna think about how i could fix it but when things are good iam more on the good things and what other good things to keep doing its all on statis of relationship

slatyb · Answer

It's extremely rare or impossible that one person can meet all of your needs. If there are conflicts, they should be discussed and resolved. Relationships can be improved with work.

Bloodparadise · Answer

I feel trapped.. i don't wanna be like that.. that's why I'll never marry

katiesmuff · Answer

I focus on what is right and very pleased with all we have.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I don’t focus on either. I appreciate who she is because who she is is what drew me towards her and the new memories we make together.

ariadneR · Answer

What I have and what is good about it. Like the saying goes comparison is the thief of joy

i_Jedi · Answer

I’d focus on what I do have. no point in stressing about what’s missing, better to appreciate what’s already there.

worldscolide · Answer

Always what I do have. When you do that, what you don't have is insignificant.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm trying to focus on having a relationship first, and I never had one.

Massageman · Answer

I try and focus on the positive. Evil wants us to focus on the negative.

Ironco · Answer

Neither, I just live life as it comes. Nothing is guaranteed and will leave you in an instant. Just keep moving forward...

Jessica850808 · Answer

我更专注于自己已经拥有的一切。 因为珍惜现在拥有的人和关系，比执着于尚未拥有的，能让我更加安心。

WhitneySnow · Answer

The top one

Anonymous · Answer

You are doombed. I made the same mistake as you.

Do you focus on what you don't have in your relationship, or on what you do have?

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