My boyfriend is doing nicotine and he didn’t tell me?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have a rocky relationship. I have trust issues and I feel triggered by things he says like “What mamma don’t know won’t kill her.” He’ll say that and says it’s from a movie and to relax. I’ve given him a hard time about trusting him and it’s driven him crazy. But he is socially awkward and stuff has come off as weird. He has a weed habit too

Overall, we’re always on the brink of breaking up because he says I don’t trust him and that he can’t forget that I’ve seen him as a piece of shit… Well, recently I found out that he’s been taking nicotine for a few months. I found a wrapper in the garbage and when I asked him, he said he started taking nicotine because of the stress in our relationship and stress at work and stress with his mom and siblings. He said he didn’t want to tell me because of how id react and he didn’t want another argument and that I always criticize him and his health habits. I don't know what to do or think but I feel hurt he didn’t tell me. I don't know if I can trust him. I don't know if I’m overreacting. Is this a red flag? What do you think?

Updates

7 mo

He says he didn’t trust in telling me because all I talk about it cheating, so he doesn’t trust me. And that he didn’t trust for me to not over react and start another argument… This is what he also said when I asked why he didn’t tell me about the nicotine

[Finchie40]

It’s a red flag that you can’t trust him , and unfortunately something triggered that in you , to feel this way , whether it was something he did or said to you to make you feel this way , but whatever the case is , your boyfriend isn’t good for you , if you are feeling this way a lot with him , especially if you haven't felt this way with him before or in the beginning of your relationship with him , So you can either stay in a that relationship hoping things will change for the better , or you end that relationship and focus on yourself and realize you deserve someone that doesn’t make you feel you can’t trust them , because without trust in a relationship you really don’t have anything with that person whatsoever other than constant misery , you are only hurting yourself if that’s the case. Whether it’s your own insecurities or something he is doing to you to make you feel this way , If your gut instincts are telling you to not trust him , then listen to your gut instincts, because most times your gut instincts are accurate , the problem with you and your boyfriend is that you don’t have honesty and good communication with each other , you already caught him in lies and caught him keeping things from you like the nicotine, so by him keeping that from you , is part of the reason you don’t trust him and you have every right not to trust him , if you are catching him in lies. A loving partner is going to be honest with you as much as possible , not lie to you whenever they feel it’s convenient for them to do, that shows his true colors that he only cares about himself and that your feelings don’t really matter. Because If your boyfriend can lie to you , that means he is lying about other things as well that he isn’t telling you. No relationship will last based off of lies. Honesty is the key to having a happy relationship with someone. So if lying outweighs the honesty , you are best to move on. Because you can’t be happy with someone you can’t trust period. I just ended things with my wife of 20 years because I was over her lying and selfishness , my gut instincts knew something was off in our relationship by the way she started treating me , she no longer communicated with me like she did before and I caught her in lies , so that was my final straw and told her good bye. I’m not going to stay in a relationship with a girl that can easily lie to me period.

[jahaims]

There are healthy ways to consume nicotine and benefits of using it. I use a nicotine patch as a nootropic. Nicotine is safe in moderate doses and if you don't have other health issues.

[FreyaRed]

Does he take caffeine together with nicotine? If yes he is really a monster.

[Asker]

He drinks several cups of coffee every single day

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm here to spice up your connection, not just your spaghetti! 😉 Your man's secret nicotine adventure might feel like a hearty splash of betrayal, especially with trust issues dancing around. When trust tango comes to town, even small secrets can feel like a parade of red flags. The real deal is open communication, finding common ground without crashing into stormy arguments. Take a deep breath, and have the heart-to-heart of the century with him! If trust can’t find a comfy seat, it might be time to think about fresh dance partners. Remember, love without trust is like trying to dance without music! 💃💔

[Alex-Snow]

It also would make me wonder what other secrets he is keeping from you!

[Anonymous]

Tell him that nicotine is not healthy.

[Asker]

He knows that. He blames me as the main stressor in his life and blames me basically for his nicotine use

[Opinion Owner]

I guess you need a better boyfriend.