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I couldn’t and wouldn’t even propose a percentage although I’m quite sure your question is rhetorical rather than literal.
Additionally I think many of us may get to the point in a marriage or relationship where even though there may be conflict or disharmony that the good outweighs the bad and so they soldier on “trying” and “hoping” for more good to push the scale.
Additionally what is “truly loving “ could the mass or majority even settle on a definition or is it not true that it’s completely subjective to how a person wants needs or “expects” to be loved.
The dissolution of my parents marriage destroyed our family and at an impactful time so my idea of what marriage is was set before I was even adolescent so it’s hardly a wonder that I don’t believe in it at all.
I have however more than I though was possible in the partner In fortunate to have and my idea of family and union somewhat restored.
I meant to add more to my question but didn't realize the system had already submitted it. I added my update, which is about my parents' unstable, unloving marriage and what should never ever be included in a marriage; domestic violence. Personally if my husband were to ever hit me just once during an argument as a way to control or intimidate me, that would be it for me. I don't negotiate with aggressive people.
Not many. Feminism, and the changes to divorce and child support laws that Feminists pushed through in the early 70s pretty much destroyed marriage by financially incentivizing divorce.
Kentucky recently changed divorce laws to deincentivize divorce and the divorce rate dropped by 25% in 6 months, and is still falling. Among the changes is 50/50 custody of children by default. A number of states are working on similar changes, finally.
It's no surprise that you get more of whatever you incentivize.
yeah I'm heard of those cases and those golddiggers made the rest of us look bad. Personally the only single reasons a woman should (must) end her marriage are abuse and infidelity. Those are my two top deal-breakers I wouldn't tolerate from a husband. The rest can be worked out.
I think women that divorce just because there aren't anymore sparks (aka when the infatuation period ends; when someone marries just for being in love and nothing else), she's bored or he works too much shouldn't be given any penny. If he's really beating him, then that's when he deserves to get his children taken away from him.
The most common reason for divorce today is "the wife isn't happy" - i. e., she's bored. Second is financial, which usually means "the wife isn't satisfied with a normal lifestyle and wants a high lifestyle". Cheating and abuse are actually reasonably rare, but like you, those are the only reasons I would support divorce.
That's sad. In my parents' case, where there were incidents of DV (mom getting verbally antagonistic but dad hitting first, then tables turned many years later), that should've been an immediate divorce. There shouldn't be any violent episode in a marriage. By staying together, they provided a bad example for me and my brother.
I hate it that some people crave the infatuation period too much and think that's how a marriage is like. They think that a marriage is being forever in the ''madly in love'' stage and fail to realize everything has to evolve. It either evolves into mature love or dies.
Well in the US about half of marriages end in divorce, so there's that. And from the ones who remain married, sometimes they're just sticking it out... like my parents have stayed together through some hard moments for example.
In some countries like Spain, it's worse. 85.5 out of every 100 marriages there end in divorce.
I've seen a few good relationships (married or not), but most of the ones I knew about were far from perfect but not all of them necessarily horrible. I'd say it was half and half, with about a quarter of relationships actually being generally fulfilling.
I think if people did a good vetting process during the dating stage and actually married for the right reasons, there would be less headaches, less break-ups and likely less divorce. I hate it when they want to divorce just because they're madly in love anymore (aka the infatuation stage), as if that was the only single reason, only the butterflies in the stomach they constantly crave. It means they never knew the person well outside of the bedroom and romance nor if they even have common goals and values. They probably thought being married was about feeling butterflies in your stomach for decades and living happily ever after but it's more than just that.
That would depend on whom you know and what you know. If you listen to the twisted and bitter trolls on this site, all you will hear is negavity. They will even invent their own stats to try to sound clever.
All the marriages that I know are going strong, including my own.
yeah there is so much negativity. I feel sorry for those who had a terrible marriage. So far there hasn't been a single argument within my marriage.
Let's dive into Love Land! When it comes to long-term relationships or marriages, a good portion can be incredibly loving and stable. The magic formula? Communication, trust, and understanding! They're not unicorns; they require effort and mutual respect. Avoid the dreaded ghosting or red-flag behavior, and embrace the journey together. Remember, it's about growing together, not perfection. Keep it exciting, and love will find its groove. 💖✨
Opinion
18Opinion
That's the thing about marriage is you have 2 people and the only one you can control is yourself
so it really depends on both people we all would like it if our partners thought the way we did but anything can happen at any time.
But it is what you make it. And in any relationship you both have to be on thevsame page.. and want the same things
I think the main important thing for a marriage to work out besides love and respect is compatibility. For instance you have to come important common goals such as whether you want kids, how to raise a kid, what religion or lack or religion, etc. If you have absolutely nothing in common besides just being in love and the bedroom, it's likely not going to work out.
Or they're going to remain in a rocky, unhappy and unloving marriage like my parents. They're literally like roommates. There is no love in their marriage. Actually there never was because DV was involved in the past whenever they had a heated argument. I figure if you act violent towards a husband or wife even once or cheat, there is no love nor respect right there.
True, but there's no reason g o it to get that heated. When you fall in love. In that same moment. You have to say and understand that neither 1 is perfect. And you do have to be, but you have to be honest and you have to respect. And you don't do something you know the other will not like or put up with.
The moment you feel the need or you have the right to yell and scream because your mad. Well that's when it is over because there's no reason in the world why you cannot be in control and be calm and get the same thing. Taken care of
Exactly. I wish my parents would've divorced long ago. They still continue with the facade. It was over long ago since I was a little kid.
We there is a reason they stayed together i think it's cool we pick our parents when we come we all come for different reason but we all have one destiny and that is love we only know love the way we know. It you and your family and friends might meet next life you might be the mom this time. So when you said they are still together. This could be why we are energy spiritual energy. And when you become one with somebody probably like your parents have many times there is a bond. There's. It's beautiful it's beautiful it's what it is but yes we have been lied to about who we are and the power we have
Any way i still say it's very cold that your parents are together and I would love to know why you didn't even know what they shouldn't know but.
I would love to know the answer to that
All marriages and relationships are void of love and loyalty. All of these unions nowadays have pre-conditions and only when those conditions are fulfilled are these unions formed and for a lot of people if they get an option that fulfills these conditions at a higher level then they immediately switch. Now Feelings like love and loyalty are the names given to habits of living together and when a person gets out of a habit it is painful which they think is due to love.
That can be translated as people that actually do a vetting process during the dating stage and seek if they actually meet important criterias, if you actually have common goals and values in common.
I think that's important before entering a long-term relationship or getting married. Too many people just enter for only emotions/love but not compatibility.
via the 80/20 rule only 20% of all marriages are those who are with their first options, not second, third etc.
50% already end in divorce
30% are married but miserable due to settling
within the 20% there's always the possibility of cheating since they have options and tend to hang around others who are in the top 20% or they are happy but their happiness is sustained via degeneracy e. g. cuckolding or polyamory
and then many that are like my parents, still married but both people disliking each other. My mother obviously dislikes my father because he used to be aggressive in the past and used to hit for words. Plus after 25 years (in 2012) she learned he always loved a past ex girlfriend and that mom wasn't ever his first option. The ex girlfriend left him for another man because she was sick of tired of his aggressive nature during arguments. Every time mom threw a tantrum and got too verbal, he became physical and hit her. She wished he would've had more self-control and stop hitting for words. She never hugs him anymore... actually she nows finds him repulsive.
Personally, there are only two reason I would divorce my husband; he cheats on me or he hits me. I wouldn't tolerate getting assaulted, not even once. Once would be too much for me. Everything else can be worked out.
sexual attraction is mandatory in a long term relationship and only a small percentage of people can truly be considered sexually attractive
no sexual attraction = no sex = no relationship = just roommates
personality means nothing when ugly people can have great personalities too yet not attract anyone in the first place
But then once you know the real person and find out you have absolutely nothing in common with them or once they age and beauty fades, what's there to support the long-term relationship? Ideally it should be both attraction and compatibility.
that's why most relationships don't last forever
most couples don't really have many things in common to begin with. it's just be attractive and be nice and that's it until the looks fade over time
religion may be the only thing keeping relationships long lasting as both parties serve a higher authority and not be serving themselves
Can the same be said if both are atheists? If I were with a religious man (ex: Catholic or Christian), it would probably not lead to marriage and the relationship would've died fast since he would likely be interested in raising a child with biblical passages and religious values, which I don't have.
based on observation and deductive reasoning, religious marriages do last longer than atheist marriages due to higher limitations of worship
atheists don't believe in a higher authority absent of the law which boils down to personal preferences and everyone's personal preferences are just as valid
and because of this, it enables selfishness whether intended or not and thus why those marriages don't last very well in comparison to religious marriages which serve a higher authority absent of the law
I have been married 26 years now
I would say one of the problems is that many people believe relationships and Marriages can be based simply on Love.
like a Hallmark Movie “Love conquers all”.
this is so far from the truth in reality. Relationships. Take a lot more than just plain love.
Exactly and they're in for a very rude awakening when love doesn't conquer all. For instance if my husband didn't want kids and I did, that relationship wouldn't process to engagement, much less marriage. If your partner has a different way of how to raise a child, that's also a deal-breaker. Not being compatible in important areas can be bad.
I think relationships are challenging enough. Add the LDR thing where there is no IRL meeting and sex and it makes them more difficult
Truly loving and stable long-term relationships exist, but they're rarer than most people assume, many couples stay together out of comfort, routine, or fear rather than genuine connection.
I think so. If you subtract the amount of long-term relationships or marriages that has no infidelity, nor abuse and both have an excellent and healthy communication, that's few of them. All the rest have unbearable flaws and deal-breakers... those are the ones that should've been over long ago. My parents should've gotten divorced long ago right on the first time my father hit mom during an argument. There is never an excuse for violence nor infidelity in a marriage.
Our relationship was not supposed to last a month. but 54 years later we are together and things change but I would never do anything to hurt her intentionally.
I feel like this is an extremely rare thing. Especially with cheating being so common.
Or domestic violence. A healthy marriage, should never have infidelity nor violence.
Ivw seen quite a few good ones.
The bad ones really awful.
I'm now thinking that too many of them have either infidelity, domestic violence or incompatible people involved. If you compare the ones that don't have violence nor infidelity and both are compatible and have a healthy communication... it's sadly few.
all relationships have challenges but of the mature people I know, most doing good. at younger ages or first time, seems to have more problems. may differ by area?
In my opinion no more than 30%.
Most people actually don't love their spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend.
They are with them for personal conveniences such as sexual or financial etc.
yeah that's sad. I think too many people get involved with someone just for being in love without realizing who the real person is.
In my family there's only been two divorces until now.
I have been married to my husband for a few years now and the thing that worked in our marriage was just communication and talking politely about arguments instead of yelling.
Exactly. I think if it a marriage ever gets into a bad yelling match and then leads to someone getting physically, it should be over right there. No marriage should ever involved cheating nor violence. I don't find that normal at all.
5%ish. Most humans are too stupid to have a healthy relationship
Indeed. I think if any relationship or marriage has infidelity or even one episode of violence, that's already dysfuctional and it should be over right there.
In my family? Every one of them.
I think you either are a loving stable person and know how to identify and reciprocate with other loving stable people or you don't.
One current one 6 years. Others before just friends with benefits.
I'm glad the current one is lasting 6 years. I have a great husband and it's the long-distance (waiting for his petition to be received and approved) that's keeping us apart. I wish that would get solved ASAP.
How many? Would you like a number? LOL
Sure.. any number
Worldwide, I'd say about 2.4 billion. In the USA, about 175 lol
I believe that's because people only marry during the infatuation period, only just out of emotions. Ideally it should be for more reason than just love alone. You can love someone but if you have no common goals or values in common, that relationship or marriage will fail.
Love doesn't conquer all, esp when there is no compatible values.
What you've expressed is called an opinion. You offer no objective data, and I offered comedy as a conclusion. However, the 2.4 billion number is indeed based on worldwide data, representing the number of marriages that do NOT end in divorce. At least that's something. Are they truly "loving and stable" according to your definition? Who knows?
There are a few of them. they are pretty rare.
I don't believe in marriage
Do you believe in a long-term relationship?
Probably about 30% of them.
That sucks. For instance, I don't want my baby boy to experienced what I did as a kid and teen years; hearing and seeing horrible arguments turn into physical altercations; wife gets verbal with husband and man hitting her. Then years later, husband is verbally antagonistic a couple times and wife hits. I hate violence. That too me, is just as bad as infidelity; a total lack of respect, lack of security. I believe that should never ever happen in a marriage.
Indeed, you're right, I understand your point, and I completely agree with you.
I dislike men that hit if and whenever someone gets verbal, those that hit for words. Even though I'm not a verbally antagonistic wife myself, I think if a man is dealing with such wife... he should suggest couple therapy or counseling, not hitting.
My thoughts exactly.
I think about half of them are
How should I know
The small minority
Any...
Very few
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