I am in an LDR with my fiance for one month now but he acts distant and rather hangs with his homies than talking to me what should I do?

[butterfly113]

To be short i ve been dating him for 3 years and on this July we got engaged and happened that he found a job as professor and me still unemployed but i am getting ready for a compitition and setting papers to continue studies abroad.. the thing is once i went back to my hometown he been distant like he says hey hello how you been doing like barely talks and whenver i check on him he with his homies hanging out and later he comes back at 10 pm to only say he got headache or he gotta sleep to wakeup early tomorrow i dont know what should i do or say like this is fucking me up when i brag about it his excuses are what do you expect me to do i already call to check on you or just blames it on stress and work or shifts the blame on me saying i dont give him enough attetion and that whenver he calls me he finds me studying.. Today i called him and he was with the boys and i was pissed off so i just politly said okay take care but later when you go back we need to talk and I don't know what to tell him. Any suggestions please

[Finchie40]

It sounds like the distance between you both added fire into your relationship, by him being a selfish prick , he might be cheating on you and using his homies as an excuse. Whether he is or isn’t cheating on you , he is still a selfish POS that you should honestly reconsider staying with him period. When a guy loves a girl , she becomes his number 1 priority the same way she does for him , so if you are no longer his top priority , then he just likes the convenience of you and he can’t confess the truth that he is a selfish POS person. If I was you I would walk the other way because that is clearlly a red flag , I walked the other way when my ex was prioritizing her friends’ over me , when she never did that before , She started treating me like I was a convenience but her friends’ were way more important, I told her to go be with her friends’ cuz I am finding a girl that wants me like I want her ,

[Alex-Snow]

I would be very careful if you still plan on getting married to him. He seems to have priorities other than you. Things may get even more complicated if you get married, have kids and two jobs etc. How is ur sex life with him? Has it gotten better or worse?

[butterfly113]

As i said we now are in different states , but whenver we meet we get intimate as any couple but he often afterward show off his body (he started hitting gym) and complains about mine but in indirect way like saying " i love you a lot nomatter what but wished you were a bit thinner" or like "its my right to show off and be with a healthy wife" ... i feel all he wanna do is being intimate with me and have fun playing and hanging around and going for dates and tbh i enjoy them but the communication i feel its absent we barely talk about serious stuff

[Alex-Snow]

That is just rude of him to say that. He is in it just for the sex. I would dump him... you can do far better.

[butterfly113]

The thing is him and mom and everyone else been giving me advice about that in fear that i can get diabetes while i am young. it was mom who was like she doesn't listen to anyone but you and i know he got lot of girls in his life like if he could he would not be engaged to me and buy me a ring and being honest and fair he the one that usually calls more than i di you know what i am saying but stills i know so well that care shoild not be asked for so i am wantin just to kill him slowly before i complitly checkout and when i know i am on my feet again

[Wuai201]

Oh, this looks like he was waiting for you to initiate the breakup, but enjoying the benefits while he still has you.
He's not completely satisfied, but he'll take what he can get while you're around. When you're not, he's busy.

[midnightmoon05]

@Wuai201 sounds right. 👍

[Alex-Snow]

@Wuai201 I agree

[midnightmoon05]

Any reason why he wants you?

in what ways are you better than other girls that he only wants to be with you?

learn about how you a prize… now you are just a doormat.

good luck.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, that's a pretty familiar conundrum in long-distance relationships. As a relationship coach, I’d say it's essential to communicate your feelings without pointing fingers. You wanna be a love ninja, not a blame thrower! 😉 Express how his distance is messing with you and suggest finding a balance between his frat boy escapades and his chats with you. Offer some flexibility, but ensure both voices in the relationship are heard. Keep it spicy, but honest. Distance doesn't mean detachment! 💕

[bowenw]

If he was into you he would be making some effort to talk with you. I suggest you stop communicating with him and see if he ever contacts you.

[butterfly113]

Do you think that will work or will just fireback at me

[Wuai201]

It's not backfiring, it's letting you know that you're the one holding on to the relationship and that how it's going to be in the future if both of y'all need to do another LD set up.

[slatyb]

End this and date someone local.

[In_Trance]

I'm guessing the competition is not a spelling bee

[darkcloud1945]

Say Goodbye