In some scenarios should you get back with an ex?

Question

My ex boyfriend and I were together a year and 2 months. We had a lot of love for each other very passionate love and unfortunately I acted more like a wife to him which he's now not appreciated at all. Examples are I picked out his deck furniture even bought some of it, made a garden at his house, organized his house, we had fish tanks together that he doesn't even know how to take care of, I would clean and do his laundry etc. But we fought a bit here and there because I had an alcohol problem. Also he's never had a girlfriend before and believes couples should only fight 2 times a year lmao. A month ago he told me were taking a break and made me take my stuff from his house. He hasn't talked to me since and won't reply, I have concluded on my own this is obviously a breakup. Although weirdly he still has our photo as his profile picture on facebook and hasn't changed his relationship status with me. But he's been hanging out with this female friend who extremely disrespected the both of us and our relationship before that I had set a boundary with likely to piss me off or just because he's in "I can do what I want mode". She has stds and he's a hypochondriac so likely nothing would happen between them he has said but I don't know... anywho since that awful day (that I didn't know would be the last time I saw him) I haven't drank since. I have now been sober for 3 months and getting my act together. I love him so much and him leaving me so coldly like this had destroyed my heart. I want to just run back into his arms. I don't think he will reach out to me again but I'm wondering if he does what does everyone think I should do? Should I consider taking him back or no because someone who truly loves you never leaves you... I'm wishful thinking but don't want to make any stupid decisions if the time comes

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

You are best to move on , for him to tell
You to leave was his way of saying it’s over , to much negativity occurred for him to make that decision, whether it was your drinking , or you acting like his Mom. Whatever it was , he unfortunately doesn't truly love you , because someone that truly loves you will accept your flaws the same way you accept theirs , they will stand by your side and get you the help you need if you are completely out of control with alcohol or drugs etc.. unfortunately he learned to hate you more than actually love you , that’s why he kicked ya out , Even though you quit drinking now , he isn’t going to trust that whatsoever, unfortunately , because the damage is already done and he chose not to get you help or support for your addiction , someone that truly loves you , will whether you are mad at them upset at them , they will be by your side supporting you to get the help you need , so if your boyfriend didn’t do that for you , he clearly didn’t love you and was more fed up with you over anything else. As for his Facebook , he probably barely spends time on it , when my ex and I separated, everything on my Facebook was the same , because Iit didn't even cross my mind , cuz I barely use it anymore , but when I finally went back on Facebook I deleted the whole account and no longer go on there whatsoever I only go on a few sites and GAG is one of them , As for him spending time with that STD girl , hopefully he is wise and doesn’t have sex with her , but who knows , people do stupid shit all the tome , so if he wants to stick his dick into that , that’s his problem. As for you , you are best to move on and find yourself someone that will accept you and love you for you , that will stand by your side when you get out of control because you are more than likely going to get out of control again when something bad happens , nothing in our lives is perfect we all face ups and downs through life , but what’s perfect is finding someone that will stand by you through those good and bad times and that’s when you know you are truly loved by someone. I like to drink as well , and when I was younger I would drink a lot with friends’ not thinking I was doing anything wrong , but just having fun and relaxing, I would date girls’ that weren’t drinkers and they would eventually get on my case about having drinks with friends’ calling me an alcoholic when clearly I wasn’t , because I wasn’t drinking every day , but in her eyes I was an alcoholic because they didn’t like to drink. For awhile i assumed I was the problem , so I would stop drinking just to appease her and then I realized she isn’t my boss , she doesn’t own me , so I would crack open a beer in front of her and she would give me this dirty look like I was this horrible person for enjoying some beers , so they would dump me because of it , until I realized I am no longer dating a girl that doesn’t like to drink on occasion that thinks drinking some beers makes me an alcoholic, so I started only dating girls’ that like to drink and my relationships turned out a hundred times better. Now I am not saying you should go back to drinking but if you decide to , i recommend you find yourself a guy that likes to drink as well and you will experience less drama and conflict with each other because you both see eye to eye on things , why it’s best to find someone that has a lot of the same interests as you do instead of someone that doesn’t. I now only date girls’ that I have a lot in common with , girls’ that I don’t have a lot in common with , I no longer waste my time with them whatsoever. . Now that I am single again , I started my dream and passion of brewing beer with my brother and best friend , that we are trying to establish a brewery , I will not waste my time on a girl , that doesn’t like beer or doesn’t support my passion of brewing beer as well , I don’t need anymore drama or misery in my life , only positive and happiness I will let in.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

There are a few different lessons here the first lesson was about drinking and losing control and for that you are paying the price

The next lesson is about him and how he went about doing it.
And then the next lesson is about him starting something new with someone else

And you know if she has all the things you say she has then she's been active and she's going to want him to

The most difficult thing about going through heart ache is being 100 % honest with your self and only looking at things that don't hurt you or make you be honest with yourself
Would life really be the same as it was if you were to get back together. No it would be 2 different people because now you don't drink and everything you touch your going to be thinking of that girl and the next time you go to the doctor what is he or she going to tell you

Down deep you wish this could go back the way they were but you know nothing is going to be the same. And just from not drinking you know it won't be the same because you should have grown because of not drinking

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

It seems you love is one sided. I don't think it's an acceptable condition for a relationship with future. Everyone wants to be loved even your ex wants, but some people exploit this desire of the child in everyone of us. Unfortunately the child in him doesn't consider your love worthy, his mature personality above child stage tries to rationalize all your desires and his own needs and it seem making a fool of you is the east way.
Just turn away and look for someone else.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

Honestly good on you for addressing your issue with alcohol, 3 months is a major accomplishment and I can’t wait for you to reach future landmarks. That said just keep focusing on being the best version of yourself and healing from this relationship. You were both important to each other just maybe not the best fit.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I make it my mission to spice up love lives! Whether or not to get back with an ex can be a sizzling or smokin' decision. You've been through quite a whirlwind, huh? With your newfound sobriety (go you! 🎉) and his mixed signals (hello, Facebook status), it’s time to weigh the reality: did he support you during tough times? Do you share the same idea of a relationship? True love supports, doesn’t abandon. Trust your heart but also your head. Whether you rekindle or not, you deserve a love that fights for you, not with you. ❤️

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Reconciliation may be a good option if your original breakup was prompted by reasons unrelated to your satisfaction with each other, such as high school sweethearts going off to college in different states.

Flowersareawsome22 · Answer

I know why I suspect his ex girlfriend did witch CARFT. Search it up on YouTube. When I was really young in my teens I made a spiritual thing when my ex left me with some Brenda girl I used the prom picture to do a retual thing on his picture months later that Brenda girl left him. I was so obsessed with him I wanted marriage from him. All I am going to say is be careful please do not over share. Maybe someone who is crushing on your men is doing some spiritual things.

AvaRay · Answer

Someone who truly values u doesn’t leave u to wonder about your worth..

Love isn’t about convenience or control, it’s about mutual respect, care, n commitment..

If he walked away n disregarded your boundaries, no amount of passion or past history changes that..

U hv grown, u hv healed, n your worth is undeniable, don’t let wishful thinking pull u back into someone who failed to honor u..

DonaldDarko · Answer

If it hadn't been for alcohol you'd still have him. I can't imagine what makes people think drinking is so cool. My guess is the alcohol is at the root of all this. He doesn't want children who will grow up to be drunks either.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Once he "casted you out of his life" such as asking you to leave, packing your bags, i guess is better to Move On! Unless you'll be happy with a Toxic Life/Marriage later...🤷‍♂️

RavVid · Answer

Well it was possible you overwhelmed him with the wife stuff and some time will take care of those issues.

molonski2 · Answer

No. One word sorry , it's absolute  No No No.. never

Nikki1989 · Answer

Sometimes people break up for the wrong reasons.

LiamJHayden · Answer

The only one I'd have considered it with is the one with whom it ended because she went to university about 3000 miles away. She has since married, so now "No."

Anonymous · Answer

I got back with my ex because I need somewhere to live and money. Sex isn't great but it beats being homeless.

nawtee_me · Answer

Sounds to me like you both need to work on yourselves before either of you get into a relationship

Twalli · Answer

It depends on why you broke up. In your case, I don't think he wants to get back together with you.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

He loves you but against your Alcohol drinking, if you leave Alcohol, then he will love you again

dudeinohio · Answer

Dont get back with an ex. The same issues that caused the breakup will still be there.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't have an ex... but if I had a girlfriend, and if the relationship didn't work, I would try to get back with her.

guesswhereivebeen · Answer

You need to find someone that loves you more than you love them

Anonymous · Answer

Looks like u should be the one making amends

Anonymous · Answer

Did I miss something?  He never said he wants to get back?

Anonymous · Answer

It looks like he is done with you. Alcoholism is the problem. I see many tv shows how serious it can be.

Dawnn13 · Answer

No, ex's are ex's for a reason

exitseven · Answer

I do not know. I never went back to an ex.

robocop666 · Answer

If thye leave the country and return later.

In_Trance · Answer

Never

noohair · Answer

Never!!!

Anonymous · Answer

Nope.

In some scenarios should you get back with an ex?

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